I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

A deposit of a hundred million spirit stones?

She might as well be asking An Lin to f*cking sell himself!

“What’s wrong?” Chang’e asked with a perplexed expression.

“Um, can you take a smaller deposit? I don’t have that much free capital at the moment.” An Lin rubbed his hands together with an apologetic expression.

Chang’e’s brows furrowed slightly. “How much do you have? It’s going to take a lot of money just to gather the rest of the ingredients.”

“I only have five million spirit stones in my storage ring!” An Lin admitted.

Chang’e: “… Hehe.”

She turned to leave.

“Wait! Celestial Maiden Chang’e, can we set the deposit matter aside for the moment? You know my reputation for reliability!” An Lin immediately urged.

Chang’e’s footsteps faltered before she turned back to look at An Lin. “Reputation and financial ability are two different things.”

An Lin faltered momentarily before continuing, “You’ve heard of the Four Nine Immortal Sect, right? I’m the sect leader of such a big sect, so how could there be any doubt about my bread-winning ability? I’ll be sure to have gathered a hundred million spirit stones by the time you finish refining the divine pill!”

Chang’e blinked upon hearing this. “Four Nine Immortal Sect? The Grandmaster Construction Cultivator did mention that to me.”

“See? You have to believe me…” A smile appeared on An Lin’s face.

“She told me that your sect is incredibly stingy and that you created a bigger stir than a first-rate sect, but you have inferior financial ability to even a third-rate sect…” Chang’e continued.

An Lin’s smile froze on his face.

For f*ck’s sake! It was one thing for the Grandmaster Construction Cultivator to insult him, but why was she going around and spreading all these slanderous rumors?

He was determined to teach her a lesson next time!

An Lin had nothing to say. He had no money, and Chang’e was skeptical of even his sect. He had no way to convince her.

Just as he was falling into despair, Chang’e suddenly threw him a lifejacket. “However, if you can lift my mood a little, I can perhaps consider lowering the deposit requirement.”

“Lift your mood?” An Lin faltered slightly upon hearing this before instinctively rummaging through his storage ring to see what he could give to Chang’e.

Chang’e immediately shook her head upon seeing this. “I don’t require materialistic joy. I’m not lacking in money.”

An Lin stumped again. How was he supposed to make her happy if she didn’t even want any presents?

She didn’t want materialistic joy? So maybe she was looking for mental joy?

“How about this? I’ll tell you a few jokes!” An Lin suggested with a buoyant smile.

A hint of interest finally flashed past Chang’e’s beautiful eyes. “Some jokes? Are they interesting? Tell me a tragic love story.”

An Lin was rooted to the spot. “Then, should I tell a joke or a tragic love story?”

Chang’e paused momentarily before replying, “Hmm… Just tell me a funny yet tragic love story.”

An Lin drew a sharp intake of breath.

Who the f*ck could tell him what the f*ck a funny yet tragic love story was?

Why couldn’t she just listen to a joke like a normal person? Such an unreasonable request made telling the joke countless times harder than it had to be!!!

An Lin was about to fall apart. Why was life so hard?

His brain scrambled for something, for anything, and for some reason, he suddenly thought of Dongfang Zhuangshi.

“Alright, then I’ll tell you a tragic yet comical love story,” An Lin said in a solemn voice.

Chang’e nodded with a hint of anticipation in her beautiful eyes.

An Lin continued, “The story takes place at a tea shop.

“A male scholar would go to the tea shop every morning to drink tea.

“The waitress at the tea shop became familiar with the scholar because of his daily visits to the tea shop.

“Time slowly passed by.

“The two of them met every day and gradually became closer to one another.

“One morning.

“‘You seem troubled,’ the scholar suddenly said to the waitress as he took a sip of tea.

“The waitress replied, ‘Young Master, are you familiar with Young Master Tang from the Eastern part of the city?’

“The scholar said, ‘He is a family friend.’

“The waitress asked, ‘Can you please introduce him to me next time?’

“The scholar’s heart throbbed upon hearing this, and the tea suddenly became bland for some reason.

“The scholar replied, ‘He doesn’t like tea.’

“The waitress asked, ‘That’s alright. What does he like? I can learn for him.’

“The scholar said, ‘He likes me.’”

…

“Hahaha… How about that? Isn’t that extremely tragic and hilarious?” An Lin chortled with mirth at his own joke.

Chang’e’s body shuddered as her cheeks became inexplicably flushed.

Her eyes rippled like water as her tone softened. “As expected, there is only true love in homosexual relationships. This is a good joke… You pass!”

“Hahaha… Hah?” An Lin’s laughter faltered as a blank expression appeared on his face.

It seemed like Chang’e had gotten something different from that story compared to him…

In any case, the result was a positive one as Chang’e had agreed to lower the deposit for him!

“Thank you, Celestial Maiden Chang’e! I am truly very grateful!” An Lin immediately spoke with gratitude in his voice.

A faint smile appeared on Celestial Maiden Chang’e’s face. “If everything goes smoothly, the Rainbow Divine Dao Pill should be ready in one or two years. Are you sure you will have enough spirit stones by then?”

An Lin nodded earnestly. “Rest assured, I will definitely be able to gather the spirit stones required! Even if I can’t, I’ll sell off my weapons to make up for what I’m missing!”

He was quite confident in his assets. There were so many treasures in his storage ring that it really wouldn’t be too hard for him to gather a hundred million spirit stones if he was to sell them.

Chang’e nodded. “Alright, then I’ll begin working on the Rainbow Divine Dao Pill at once. I’ll be taking your five million spirit stones as a deposit. If you change your mind or suddenly die, I’ll be taking the money as payment for my labors up to that point.”

An Lin’s lips twitched slightly. Did she have to put it in such an unsettling way?

Despite the complaints he was making in his heart, he still maintained an amicable smile as he obediently pulled out the five million spirit stones from his storage ring before handing it over to Chang’e.

From this day forth, he would be known as Filthy Bankrupt An!

An Lin expressed his gratitude toward Chang’e again. This was quite a big favor she was doing for him, and the inherent trust she had in him was what sealed the deal in the end. After all, doing something like this was quite a risk.

What would happen if he tried to commission another first-rate pill refinement master with a deposit of five million for a divine pill? They would definitely slap him across the face and tell him to piss off.

Chang’e had also thrown another slap toward him, but she did so with a warm smile that said, “I’ll help you”.

What a kind Celestial Maiden! So gentle and warm!

“Alright then, work hard and earn more money, An Lin. I’ll be leaving now.” Chang’e bade farewell to him.

“Farewell, Celestial Maiden Chang’e!”

An Lin bade farewell to Celestial Maiden Chang’e before returning to The United University of Cultivation.

He was now going to initiate his project to earn money.

This was a big project, so he had to do some thorough planning.

Night fell as the moon and stars appeared in the sky.

An Lin leaned against the windowsill and asked in a quiet voice, “Xiao Hong, how do I earn more money?”

Xiao Hong yawned before replying in her sweet voice, “The glorious sun is everything this world needs. Why focus so intently on earning money? I don’t need money, so of course I don’t know how to earn money!”

An Lin: “…”

Well, that was a waste of time.

Xiao Hong was a freak who could sit around and sunbathe all day without a care in the world and still progress in her cultivation base. She clearly walked a path that was parallel to his.

Xue Zhantian suddenly became excited upon hearing this. “Master, come with me, and we’ll crush the sky beneath our feet! There will be boundless treasures available to us for the taking then!”

An Lin rolled his eyes. He could ignore this nutjob as well.

Who should he go to for advice?

His eyes suddenly lit up. Xiaolan was a safe bet!

…