Hogwarts: I Am Such a Model Wizard

Chapter 144: The New Hogwarts Rap

Kyle and Professor Sprout walked through the foyer, up the Marble Staircase, and down a winding corridor. Professor Sprout’s office was modest in size, filled with the earthy, sweet scent of soil. A warm fire crackled in the fireplace, and lush vines adorned the walls, giving the space a cozy, greenhouse-like atmosphere. Magical plants were scattered all around, making the room feel like a miniature version of the greenhouse outside.

Near the window sat a small desk, and on it was a brown box. Professor Sprout pointed to it.

“I received this package two days before the start of the school year. It came from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, along with a letter saying it was compensation for the damage done to the Forbidden Forest,” she explained. Her expression grew a little strange. “But as far as I know, Minerva didn’t request any such compensation, so I believe it’s meant for you.”

“Ahem, yes, Professor,” Kyle replied, a bit sheepishly. “I did write a letter to the Ministry of Magic—but only because the Hit Wizards asked me to. They knew I’d used some rare magical items in the Forbidden Forest, and that’s how I managed to survive Oren. So, they generously decided to send some compensation.”

“Did they, now?” Professor Sprout remarked with a smile. “But the letter also said they’d soon be sending someone to construct a new greenhouse for Hogwarts. Did you request that as well?”

“Er... no,” Kyle answered after a brief pause. “I only mentioned that the excessive use of dark magic in the Forbidden Forest had destroyed many rare magical plants and trees that were centuries old. I guess that’s their way of compensating the school.”

Professor Sprout’s expression grew even more peculiar. She flushed slightly and looked out the window, knowing well what plants were actually in the Forbidden Forest. Most of the rare and precious ones had been moved to the greenhouse ages ago. What remained were mostly common species like dittany and puffapods. And as for the so-called ancient trees... after the Hit Wizards left, it had only taken her and Filius five minutes to restore the forest to its former state with a simple General Counter-Spell.

Clearing her throat, Professor Sprout spoke with feigned outrage, “Yes, it’s a shame about those plants. It’s rare for the Ministry to consider these things and offer to build a new greenhouse for their protection.”

Looking quite pleased, she added briskly, “So, why don’t you stay here and inventory their compensation to see if anything’s missing? But don’t take too long; I believe the Sorting Ceremony will start soon.”

With that, Professor Sprout left the office, closing the door behind her.

Kyle approached the table and opened the box. Inside, he found a small collection of items, starting with a neat stack of fifty Galleons labeled “Broom.” He remembered throwing a broom into the Forbidden Forest during the encounter, but it had been destroyed when a tree fell on it during the battle. Unable to replace such an old model, the Ministry had likely decided to compensate him with a monetary equivalent.

Setting the Galleons aside—they technically belonged to the school, after all—he turned his attention to the remaining items, the true focus of his interest. After removing the Galleons, he uncovered five tightly sealed glass bottles. Each one held seeds of a different magical plant, with their names labeled on the bottles.

Chomping CabbageMandrakeLovageVenomous TentaculaFanged Geranium
Kyle picked up the bottles and carefully placed them into his Mokeskin pouch, feeling a sense of satisfaction. To make the compensation more plausible, he had listed these plants as “lost items” in his letter to the Ministry. This was why they had sent him such dangerous species. Nearly all of them were classified as “highly hazardous,” especially the Chomping Cabbage and Venomous Tentacula, which were banned from private cultivation and trade.

Kyle hadn’t been sure how this would play out, but he had taken a gamble that the professor who received the package wouldn’t look too closely at its contents. If she had, the seeds would likely have ended up in the new greenhouse instead of his pouch.

Fortunately, luck had been on his side. Professor Sprout’s primary concern was for the plants she already tended in the greenhouse.

After gathering up the bottles, Kyle let out a long, relieved sigh. He couldn’t help but feel grateful that the Ministry had packaged everything so securely. Managing to get the seeds past a master botanist had certainly been an adventure.

After leaving Professor Sproutʼs office, Kyle headed down the stairs and back into the Great Hall. The new students had already arrived, filling the hall with a sea of black hats and pointed ears. Every long table was packed with students, buzzing with excitement and anticipation.

Up near the VIP section, the worn and tattered Sorting Hat sat prominently on its stool. This year, though, it sported some new accessories—a red and blue cloth wrapped around its brim, which might have been a tea towel or a bandana, and a pair of tiny sunglasses perched jauntily on top.

Kyle entered the hall just in time to hear the Sorting Hat’s song. The Hat seemed more animated than ever, wriggling on its triangular stool as it sang in a lively, nontraditional tune.

“... Hogwarts is truly a school

where all taught magic is wonderful.

Gryffindor has courage in their hearts

and the bravery to face danger’s arts.

Hufflepuff is honest and hardworking,

their students are tough and ever learning.

Ravenclaw is clever and wise,

seeking secrets where knowledge lies.

And maybe you’ll end up in Slytherin,

calm, meticulous, they strive to win.

Come on, take me with you. Don’t be afraid.

And last but not least, my name’s the Sorting Hat.

Where youʼll be sorted... Don’t you dare.”

The Sorting Hat finished with a flourish, and the hall instantly burst into applause, the cheers so thunderous it seemed they might lift the ceiling.

Kyle smiled, then made his way over to the Hufflepuff table. Cedric had saved him a spot right between him and Mikel.

“Kyle, if only you’d arrived a bit earlier,” Cedric said with a touch of regret. “The Sorting Hat’s song was completely different from previous years.”

“Well, I managed to catch a bit of it,” Kyle replied with a grin.

It seemed the Sorting Hat had received the Christmas present he’d sent it last year. He just hadn’t expected Hogwarts to still be playing those tapes.