Hogwarts: I Am Such a Model Wizard

Chapter 19: Hufflepuff

Kyle didn’t waste a second. With three quick strides, he was up on the stage, escaping the tension he’d felt under Kanna’s watchful glare. Once on the stage, he let out a sigh of relief, patting his chest. He turned to Professor McGonagall and said sincerely, ”Thank you, Professor.”

His sudden show of politeness seemed to catch her off guard. It took her a moment to react, but then she gave a small shake of her head, saying, “It’s my duty.” Still, her stern expression softened noticeably. Before placing the Sorting Hat on Kyle’s head, she even took the extra step of brushing off some of the dust from the hat.

Such a polite child, she thought, I hope he can be sorted into Gryffindor. Gryffindor was in desperate need of more model students like him. Last year, she had secretly wished to bring Cedric Diggory into her house, but both Professor Sprout and Dumbledore had objected. This year, she was hopeful again.

As she placed the Sorting Hat on Kyle’s head, McGonagall looked at him intently, silently hoping the Sorting Hat would finally make the right call.

...

“Strange, very strange,” a soft voice whispered in Kyle’s ear as soon as the hat was on. “You sincerely thanked her? Thatʼs unusual. Are you really one of those good kids?”

“Of course I am!” Kyle responded seriously. “You can ask around. The Weasley family and even Mr. Scamander have said I’m the most polite and well-behaved child they’ve ever met. So please, don’t slander me. Otherwise, I’ll complain about you, even if you are just a hat.”

The Sorting Hat fell into a rare silence. Its brim wobbled back and forth, as if unsure how to respond or perhaps struggling with a decision.

After a long pause, the hat finally spoke again. “Your shamelessness reminds me of the old days, a thousand years ago, back when I was just an ordinary hat on Godric’s head. Well then, how about Gryffindor? I feel like thatʼs where you should be... But no, itʼs not quite right for you.”

“I think—” Kyle began, but the Sorting Hat cut him off.

“Let me think,” the hat interrupted, mulling over its options. “Maybe Slytherin would be better. You could achieve great things there, no question about it.”

“That...”

“Hold on, hold on,” the Sorting Hat interrupted him again. “No, Slytherin doesn’t feel quite right either. Besides, if I send you there, Snape will probably pour some strange potion on me later. Let me think... Dumbledore’s put me in a difficult spot this time... If only Azkaban or Nurmengard were part of Hogwarts...”

...

The Sorting Hat sounded like it was joking, but Kyle couldn’t find it funny at all. What’s going on? He hadnʼt done anything that bad—at most, heʼd just scared Kanna a little earlier. Could that really get him sent to Nurmengard? How was that fair? Plenty of wizards did far worse things, and they weren’t being shipped off to wizarding prisons!

Kyle realized he needed to do something, fast. If the Sorting Hat actually shouted out “Nurmengard,” it’d be a disaster. Azkaban was at least under Ministry control, and you couldn’t just be sent there on a whim. But Nurmengard... that was different. Dumbledore had connections, and if anyone could pull some strings, it was him.

Deep down, Kyle suspected the Sorting Hat’s remarks were simply a jab at him for his earlier comment about filing a complaint. But still, what if... What if the hat, with its thousand years of history and independent consciousness, decided to make things interesting and call out something ridiculous, just for a laugh? Who knew what went on in that ancient mind?

“That...” Kyle began, putting on his most harmless smile. “That was a fantastic song you sang earlier. Especially the first few lines—concise lyrics, light tone. Way better than the clichés from the Weird Sisters.”

The Sorting Hat immediately perked up. “You think so too? I’ve been saying that for ages! It took me a whole year to come up with it. But Dumbledore never appreciated it. He even tried to get me to sing the school song. That old bee!”

Uh oh... Kyle didn’t feel comfortable badmouthing the headmaster, even if he wasn’t around to hear it. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he decided to steer the conversation in a safer direction. “By the way, that song of yours—there’s something about it that sounds familiar. Is it, perhaps, in the rap style?”

“Rap style?” The Sorting Hat sounded curious. “What does that mean?”

“You don’t know? You’ve invented it yourself—impressive!” Kyle exclaimed, feigning shock. “Rap is a style of Muggle music that’s very popular.”

“Muggle music...” The Sorting Hat seemed even more intrigued.

“Yes, I think it would suit you perfectly. If you want, I could get you something related to it for Christmas,” Kyle offered sincerely.

“Okay... wait, no!” The Sorting Hat caught itself. “We’ve got to focus. It’s already been a while, and you must be hungry. Let’s not keep dinner waiting.” Clearing its imaginary throat, the hat resumed, “Now, where were we?”

Kyle grinned and reminded it, “You said I was polite and well-behaved, but that neither Gryffindor, Slytherin, nor Ravenclaw felt quite right.”

“Huh? Did I mention Ravenclaw?” the hat murmured, sounding momentarily confused. “Oh, right! You’re absolutely correct. In that case, the decision is obvious...”

“Hufflepuff!”

The moment the Sorting Hat announced Kyle’s house, the hall erupted into applause. Even the teachers at the staff table joined in. The Sorting, which had taken a record-breaking twenty minutes—easily the longest in Hogwarts’ history—was finally over. And not a moment too soon, as everyone was starving by now. Normally, the feast would have already started by this time.

The Hufflepuff table was especially lively. Cedric Diggory, grinning broadly, rushed over to give Kyle an enthusiastic hug. “Great, Kyle! I knew you’d end up in Hufflepuff.”

Kyle laughed. “The Sorting Hat got great tastes.”

“Huh?” Cedric looked momentarily puzzled, unsure of what Kyle meant.

But Kyle just smiled and didn’t elaborate. At that moment, several older students approached to shake Kyle’s hand. Judging by the badges on their robes, they were Hufflepuff prefects. It was a tradition to welcome new students, while also helping prefects get to know the incoming first-years.

Kyle greeted them warmly and then took the empty seat next to Cedric. The prefect who had been sitting there graciously offered up his spot after realizing Kyle and Cedric were already acquainted.

Once seated, Kyle joined the rest of the hall in looking back at the Sorting Hat. But deep down, his decision had already been made. He had always wanted to be in Hufflepuff. After all, Newt Scamander had been a Hufflepuff, and so had his father, Chris. As someone who loved magical creatures, Hufflepuff was the natural choice. Plus, Kyle wasn’t interested in dwelling on dark wizards or Voldemort right now. He wanted to fully embrace the joy and magic of Hogwarts life, and there was no better place for that than Hufflepuff, with its enthusiastic and loyal community.

Besides, the Hufflepuff dormitory was conveniently located right next to the kitchen—an undeniable bonus.