Gun of Ashes

What is your wish...?

042 looked at the man before him. The moonlight was indeed bright, yet in his eyes, the man’s face was unfathomably blurred, as if shrouded by a sticky darkness.

”What is my wish...?”

042 murmured, lowering his head, his somewhat timid face reflected in the pool of blood.

”I... I don’t know, such things... how could I possibly know?”

042’s voice became strange, as if crying, yet seemingly laughing.

”You understand people like me, don’t you? I’m just a blank slate, with no passionate hobbies, nor grand dreams.”

”But there must be something that keeps you going, right? 042, otherwise, you wouldn’t have come back for me so recklessly, even though you could have just fled.” The man asked again.

”That’s because we’re friends! How could I possibly abandon you?” 042 said.

After a brief pause, his voice softened; this was a rare opportunity, everything seemed so calm, making one relax involuntarily.

”Actually, I do envy you a bit, having grand wishes... you all have grand wishes: going to Old Dunling to be a detective, slaying all the demons, ushering in a Golden Era, it’s all quite nice.”

042 seemed to be answering the man, yet it also felt like he was narrating his own story.

”There was a time I was very troubled too, wanting to be like you, but later on I suddenly understood, that in fact, I’m just somewhat mediocre.”

”Like those stories you read, you always need someone to be the backdrop for the protagonists, one unremembered face after another... actually, I’m one of the audience too, after all, those standing on the stage are, in the end, the few.”

”I’m just... just somewhat mediocre.”

The voice faded away.

The man reached out, placing a hand on 042’s shoulder.

”But you still came back for me, 042, back into Hell to fetch me, this isn’t something the audience would do. When you appeared before me holding the Nail Sword, you were already the protagonist.”

The man’s gaze swept over the deck, filled with countless corpses, blood soaking the planks.

”Though this stage is quite a mess.”

They couldn’t help but laugh, and after the laughter subsided, 042’s hesitant gaze solidified, and he looked up at the night sky he had never seen in Florence.

”However, if I had to have a wish, if there must be some wish... I just hope to live with everyone.”

042 said.

”Just like back then, wandering through the streets of Florence, though we had scant meals, that time was really good, and later we joined the Evangelical Church, and later... though slaying demons is still somewhat stressful, but once I thought about living with everyone, having a place for shelter, then doing such things didn’t matter anymore.

I just want to maintain the status quo, the peaceful and beautiful status quo, but all of that’s gone...”

Raging flames burned through the cathedral, the entire Seven Hills plunged into a mad Nightmare, everything familiar to 042 drifting away, ruthlessly destroyed, under that crazed immersion, familiar faces died by his sword one after another.

”If that’s my wish, then my wish has ended, everyone is dead, I killed them with my own hands...”

042 couldn’t stop trembling, not knowing if it was because of fear or something else.

”Ah... this is terrible, actually right now... I’m really scared, I’m really guilty, you know?”

He spoke while unconsciously lowering his head, raising his hands to clutch his face tightly.

”He had the chance back then, he had the chance to live... but he let me survive, I knew his thoughts, he wanted me to continue doing what he desired, but... but I.”

042 mumbled frantically, eyes bloodshot.

”But can I really do it? Will I disappoint him? Entrusting such responsibility to someone like me...”

Lorenzo de’ Medici, can I truly stand shoulder to shoulder with that old man? He obviously could have survived but chose to let me climb out of that dry well, whether to live as an ordinary person in Old Dunling or to carry on that grandiose Golden Era of his?

No, no, 042 couldn’t do it, such a duty is too heavy for him, after all, he was an audience but was forcibly dragged under the spotlight.

But, couldn’t he escape, just leading a normal life? Failing Lorenzo de’ Medici’s admonition like this, wasting this surviving ”miracle” in such a ridiculous way?

Suddenly, 042 calmed down, and after cooling down, an even greater despair swallowed him.

”Actually I... I have already failed.”

042 laughed miserably, looking at the giant wound on his abdomen, blood no longer flowed out, now it was the melted Holy Silver pouring from it, having stepped into the taboo to fight with those demonized Demon Hunters.

Holy Silver was destroying his body bit by bit, finishing him off completely.

042 had already failed, he felt guilty about it, Lorenzo de’ Medici’s exhausting efforts only enabled him to live a bit longer, and even if he could survive, wouldn’t he still disappoint him?

He was just an audience member cowering in the shadows, dreading the bright spotlight, he wouldn’t persist in that Golden Era, he originally wanted to escape to Old Dunling, living a completely opposite life.