Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

I know I’ve said I’m not gonna make every single birthday party a massive event from now on... Okay, I’m pretty sure I’ve said that. While part of me really wants to, there’s the simple fact that at this point we’ve got more than one a month. Add in the ladies and I think we’re approaching two a month. If you add in the holidays like the Solstices and Equinoxes and All Hallows, even if I’m not the party planner for that one, it’s definitely more than two a month on average.

Yeah, eight of them are split across two days, the tenth and eleventh of Tinne. Which is before my birthday, but after Saffron’s. Like, a little more than a week after Saffron’s. But even if those of us who are adults in every way that matters to me have decided to maybe throttle things back, the girls ought to have something special on their birthdays, and every complaint I ever heard from a friend who shared a birthday with a family member or a major holiday was about how combination birthdays and combination presents suck ass.

I don’t want my kids’ birthdays to suck.

Fuck, I gotta figure out when Boy and Girls’ birthdays are, too. Shit, that reminds me yet again that I need to encourage them to pick actual names rather than juvenile gender designations. Shit, worst case I guess I can see if Saffron will sign off on Inspecting them and watching for when their Age designation changes. If they’re already Juvenile, that might kill two birds with one stone, since at that point I can spin some kind of a ’need to pick your Adult Name’ thing. Not like I think my younger kids are gonna change their names any more or less than they already have. I don’t think Davey is offended by David, either, not like a deadname or anything. But I do try and respect my kids’ developing identities, and if that means calling her Davey instead of David, I’m down.

So even if I’m not planning on doing some massive event for each of my kids’ birthdays, I still wanna make sure that the kits each feel like their day is special for them, which means that’s gonna require like four times the prep. I’m also not going to not have birthday parties, and if the size of the thing isn’t gonna be the special part, it’s gotta be something that’s very them.

I mean, I still might take the kids camping on Lindsey’s birthday. Not only did she really seem to enjoy it, I think she enjoyed the rest of the girls doing one of her things for once. Like, she’s not super social, but she’s not anti-social. I think if she wanted to go camping on her own, she’d just do it. Shit, I know she’s gone out in the fields with the Homestead women, if I didn’t tuck her into the big round bed every night I’d suspect she went camping on the regular on her own. Hell, maybe she goes out to her little campsite and does daytime camping things now and then.

Shit, we have fish. We have fish on a regular basis, and I never asked where they came from. We sure as shit don’t have some kind of fish farm, which means either Saffron is having them shipped to us from somewhere or they’re from that stream next to her campsite.

Like two weeks after that is Ria’s birthday. Really, really not sure what she’s gonna want to do.

But there will be cake. Oh, yes, there will be cake.

So yesterday after running my poor Phileo Cadets ragged, I had them line up in formation as the sun approached the horizon.

”Cadets! How many of you are up for another day of PT?”

Cadet Obol raised their hand. For what it’s worth, I’m not sure if said Cadet is a guy or a girl; they’re kinda on the svelte side, and if the jackets could keep me from noticing Saffron’s rack, they’d definitely prevent me from detecting somebody more modestly endowed. I haven’t had a need to Inspect them or ask their first name, either. I guess I could go look, but so far it hasn’t seemed relevant in the slightest. When I nodded to them, they said, ”we have classes tomorrow, though?”

I gave them all my evilest grin, then said, ”haven’t you guys heard? I’ve got a close personal relationship with the sun and where she is in the sky. Now... You guys up for another day of PT? Right now?”

That got me a round of groans.

”Pardon? That’s not an answer.”

”Yes, Champion Diaz!” They managed a passable shout, and I smiled at them all.

”Really?”

Obol raised their hand again. When I nodded, they sighed and said, ”do we have to enjoy it?”

I chuckled, then laughed out loud. When I’d let off that little bit of steam, I raked my gaze across all of them, then said, ”bet you guys never thought you’d be able to keep going after a whole day of PT when you started, did you?” I kept myself from laughing at the confused, wondering looks they gave me. ”Maybe some other time. But for now, you guys are doing good. Go get some dinner, and I’ll see you next week.”

With that I stepped home, their raggedy ass cheer in my ears.

That’s something I don’t think the Marshall ever really did, and I think it might have been a mistake. Then again, he might have done shit like that and I missed it. Y’know, giving little examples of progress, because Heroic Physical Training is never about ’enough’. It’s about ’keep piling on more’. Pushing harder, faster, longer. Never letting up, not really, because limits are for folks who aren’t Heroes. Heroes, out in the field, are always one emergency away from ’do or die’.

Yeah, I remember that the original quote is ’do and die’. I don’t like thinking about how some of the Cadets I’m training might wind up in that situation. The only thing I can do for them, other than, y’know, Changing the world so there are less ’do and die’ moments, is to make sure that if they ever get to that point that they die knowing that they did, in fact, do. That whoever they were fighting to protect was protected.

Okay, I can also give them the Maenad Psychopomp treatment if that’s what they’re into. But that’s really not something I can always guarantee. Fuck, if they follow one of the Norse or Greek Gods, they’re full fledged Heroes, and they go down fighting, that means they’re practically guaranteed a spot in Valhalla or the Elysian Fields. They might not want a Revive, and they might have a preference for big titty blonde chicks.

I mean, I can do blonde, and I’m a fuckin’ Shapeshifter, so tits of whatever size are available, but I’m not so full of myself that I think every Alliance Hero is gonna want me as their ride to the afterlife. But for the ones who give their lives protecting people, I think that’s the least I can do if they do want it.

At any rate, after my maybe oblique congratulations on the Cadets’ progress, I stepped home to dinner. I’m not against playing while working, what with being able to Co-Locate, but something about Mom’s comment about focusing put me in a mood to not do that. So I got a bit of a throwback when Marie brought out corn cakes and ’tortillas’.

I quietly asked Saffron, ”are we rationing things?”

She smiled and shook her head. ”Isnomi asked for them. They remind her of our days at the Academy. Her favorite ones, at any rate.”

”Huh.” I kept eyes open while I ate, and if Lindsey and Ria preferred the corncake, while the kits leaned toward the tortillas, none of them seemed put out by what I thought of as ’ration food’.

Later that night, after showers and a long soak in the tub, the ladies all joined me in the Bedroom. Apparently they’d rather all spend a little child free time together than have me haul them off in the middle of the night. Which makes sense, but still, kinda weird all five of us in the Bedroom and not boning like rabid weasels. Not at first anyhow; we just kinda lounged around talking, reading, or in Marie’s case knitting.

At that point I realized that I could talk about something without little ears hearing. ”What are we gonna do for Lindsey and Ria’s birthdays?”

If Tallulah winced a little at Lindsey’s name, a quick subtle gesture with her hand let me know she didn’t want to go into it right then. Saffron, whether she noticed that or not, just shrugged and said, ”why don’t you ask them?”

”But... Won’t that ruin the surprise?”

That got me a round of chuckles, at which point Siobhan said, ”not every good thing in life needs to be a surprise.” When I definitely gave her a look like that did not compute, she laughed and said, ”you think of your times with us as good things, yes?”

”Well, yeah.”

”We weren’t surprises, were we?”

I snorted. ”Absolutely. Each and every one of you surprised the fuck out of me. You all Just Happened.”

Siobhan pouted in response to that. ”Tabitha, you spent almost half a year telling me repeatedly that you intended to seduce me. You forced me to wait for the Liberation of Calverton for our ’date’. You told me on at least a weekly basis that you intended to take my maidenhead at the conclusion of our date, and I tried to make it very clear to you that I would have let you do so at any time, date or not. Are you saying that your first time with me wasn’t one of those good things?”

I shook my head. ”Nope. Absolutely incredible. But still a fuckin’ surprise.”

Siobhan looked around at the others, then shook her head. ”You’re right. She’s hopeless.” Then, much softer, looking at me, she said, ”that’s part of your self-image problem too, you realize?”

I sighed. ”Yeah. Yeah, I think I get that. Although I’m honestly not sure how much of me saying shit like that is serious and how much is me bullshitting because I’m not comfortable with thinking of myself as some kind of desirable person in and of myself.” I shook my head before any of them could say anything. ”Like, yeah, I get that I’m rich and powerful and have admittedly nice tits and my physique is literally Divine, but,” I touched my chest, ”I’m still kinda stunned that anybody wants me. Like, for me.”

Siobhan shifted her by now considerable baby belly over to sit beside me, then leaned against me. ”Well. We do. Right ladies?”

That got a round of agreement, followed by them all glomping me until we collapsed backwards onto the Bed. Shenanigans may have ensued. Antics were cut short by Siobhan needing to visit the water closet, then return to bed.

At lunch today, between the morning and afternoon Math classes, I managed to find Lindsey and pull her aside. ”Hey, can I ask you something?”

She just head tilted and said, ”yes?”

”Do you want to go camping again for your birthday, or is there something else you’d rather do?’

Credit to her, she thought about it. Unfortunately, she shrugged. ”I’d enjoy camping. I don’t know if all my siblings would. But I don’t know what else I’d enjoy more.”

I sighed. ”Okay. It’s your day, so as long as it’s not gonna traumatize them or something they can suck it up for a day. Let me know if you think of anything else, though.”

”I will.”

Of course now I’m worried that she’ll think of something the day before her birthday, and I’ll wind up having to scramble. Meh. I’ve had worse dilemmas.

Still want a pair of dilemma horns for my office.