Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

I remember back in the day one of the things I didn’t understand in ROTC class was the whole thing about ’fighting the last war’. Okay, at first I didn’t really get it, then I thought I got it, but I didn’t, and now I think I do.

At first, when I heard about that, we were studying the Maginot line. Yeah, you’d think I’d forget that, but something about the pronunciation of the word ’Maginot’ made that shit stick. Pissed me off, because something spelled like that ought to be pronounced like ’mag - ih - NOT’, but no, everybody laughed when the Sergeant corrected me, because that’s what happens when the word nerd mispronounces shit. That word has no business being pronounced ’MAH-jhih-noe’. Seriously. Fuckin’ French people, refusing to pronounce consonants and shit.

I will now answer the comments about my Darling being named Siobhan by... Look over there, what is that interesting thing, is that a line of fortresses that would have dominated any trenches in front of them, not to mention dropping artillery heat well over the horizon?

Yeah, after I got over being laughed at for mispronouncing shit, I was with the rest of the class thinking ’why would you build something that dumb, warfare’s always been about maneuver’. Except, y’know, it hasn’t been. Yeah, all the cool stories are about bits where strategic or tactical maneuvering let some small force beat a large one, but...

Fuck, I just realized where I’d heard ’House of Orange’ before I ever came here. Book report about siege warfare. Which was a thing even before gunpower based weapons. Really, it becomes a thing any time ’defenses’ are a thing that can make a difference. In World War One, they had trenches and forts and shit that could stop bullets, and they’d finally gotten the idea that building permanent siege weapons inside the fort meant you could probably outrange people who had to bring theirs from home or make their own on site.

At any rate, that’s the thing. World War One was trench warfare. Building a line of forts along the border made sense. Unfortunately, shit... Changes...

Motherfucker. If I find out that I’ve been hoist by my own petard because instead of coming at me the same old way the people insisting on coming at me in the first place are mixing that shit up in new and exciting ways, and can actually do so entirely because I managed to get my here and now self out of that box and let shit start Changing, I do not know what I’m gonna do. Okay, yeah, I’ll probably bitch about it a lot, throw all kinds of tantrums, then eventually have angry sex with one or more of my partners, followed by playtime with my kids, and by my kids I don’t know or care if I’m talking about the horde hoard, my math students, or even the Cadets in PT. I know some of those last are older than me, but I’m pretty sure Conrad’s older than everyone in the family except Marie and Tallulah put together, and he’s my son, so fuck your logic, continuity, and bullshit about ’parents have to be older than their kids’.

Also, it’s very likely I’ll wind up having way less angry, albeit probably kinkier along some spectrums, sex with my partners and possibly some other people after I play with my kids. Because nothing helps me calm my irrational tits like dopamine and serotonin, and my favorite sources of those respectively are sex and kids.

Kinda useful that one leads to the other.

So I got why people fought the last war, sorta, but I didn’t really get the other part of it until the past couple days. Because at some point during PT yesterday my mind started wandering just a little, pondering ways I could do unto people at the Homestead as a kind of exercise in ’what should we defend against’, as well as trying to sort out ways to defend against those things.

Got home, helped Marie bring everybody dinner in the bedroom, got a little weirded out when I jumped down to the Kitchen for some condiments and saw the kids I’d just left in the bedroom making themselves sandwiches in the Kitchen.

”Dafuq?”

My answer came in the form of Menace’s voice in my ears saying, ”Mama gone ged gwownded,” while at the same time Karen’s thought, decoys; your High Clergy and those few others with the Boon of Shapeshifting.

I snorted, scrambling a little. ”Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t eat Mom’s sweets, or she’ll ground you, Menace.” Aren’t some of those folks like, not fighters?

Karen-as-Menace got the best shifty look I’d seen in a while, one hand darting behind her back while she something I didn’t quite catch a look at down her gullet. All volunteers, all Clergy, Goddess. All willing to stand in the way of harm to Children, most especially yours.

I sighed as I stepped back to the bedroom carrying a couple jars. Just be careful. Body doubles in the Kitchen are fine, but please don’t take risks and go outside until things are clear, okay?

As you wish, Goddess.

As Saffron and I had a little picnic on the floor in the bedroom, while some of the kids copied us and others took the opportunity to eat in their rooms, something Marie had frowned on previously, I asked her about the shit I’d been thinking about through the day.

”Didn’t you say we have some kind of Wards on the Homestead, Kitten?”

She nodded while putting way too much jam on what looked like a turkey sandwich. Frankly, I think any amount of jam was too much on a turkey sandwich, but my Kitten will not turn down sweets. Fuck it, if she gets diabetes I’ll just Cure her or something. ”We do. Both Alarm and Filtration, although the latter aren’t constant.”

”So how’d that fucker get past them?”

She grimaced. ”Cold Iron.”

While she took a bite, I thought about that, and responded the only way I knew how. ”Fuck.”

She swallowed with every indication of enjoying her bird and fruit abomination. ”Later, perhaps. But I didn’t think to add in secondary Alarms triggered by those Alarm Wards being taken down. Well, not until yesterday.”

”Are they up?”

She nodded. ”Temporary ones until I add the permanent ones.”

I shook my head. ”I really wish I could do Artificing. Both to help pull my weight and because it seems really neat.”

She almost snorted jelly when I said ’pull my weight’. After making sure everything had gone down into the Saffron belly, she reached out and touched my cheek. ”Oh, love. You have ’pulled your weight’ in so many ways. You do things no one else can. Things like the Wards on our Homestead? I won’t say they’re ’beneath you’, but they’re things others can do, that I can do, to support you so you can focus on the things only you can do.”

”Still wish I could do Artificing.”

She snickered again. ”Really? What fool says you cannot?”

”Uh, all those Wards at the Academy you and Doc wound up having to put back up, combined with all the crappy shit I blew up in Special Needs Mana Shaping?”

She smiled softly, shaking her head. ”Love, part of how I learned Artificing was watching you in the Academy. I suspect your problem in Mana Shaping was similar to what I saw in the hallway, your tendency to hold back almost entirely, until you don’t hold back at all. The former isn’t enough to sear your will into materials, the latter is too much for most materials. But given sturdy enough materials of high enough quality, you’ve shown yourself to be perfectly adept at Artificing.”

”Dafuq?”

”Slayer.”

That floored me for a bit. ”Uh, wasn’t that just a Boon I gave Larry?”

She shook her head. ”Oh, I’m certain you and he both think of it as such, and your Boon may be what continues to power Slayer’s Blade, but the actual Shaping is formed by the hilt of Larry’s old sword. Whether any other hand but his could activate it is questionable, but if, say...” She paused a bit, mind racing. Then she chuckled. ”I cannot think of too many Shapers who aren’t in some way connected to you who have the Mana to power Slayer. But should one pick it up and force Mana through the Artificing? I’m almost certain the Blade would manifest.”

”Wonder if Bonnie can use it?”

She tilted her head. ”Interesting thought. One we might test at some point when we’ve nothing else to do. But I suspect it has as much to do with how much Larry’s tainted her Aura.”

”He did what to her taint now?”

She chuckled, nearly choking on her next bite of fowl sustenance. ”Intimate companions do that, love. There’s nothing wrong or inappropriate about it. Lucas’ Aura began as, and likely still is, a combination of Larry and Bonnie’s. The kits are yours and Marie’s.”

”So Siobhan’s bean is a...” I trailed off as I realized Siobhan was nowhere in sight. ”Uh...”

Saffron smiled softly at me. ”She’s in the Bedroom, love.”

”Okay. Should we join her when we’re done eating? Or, y’know, we could go right now?”

She chuckled, shaking her head. ”Canta needed a safe place in M-Space to examine her. Marie is with them just in case, and Hailee went along to ensure she wouldn’t become nauseous.”

I froze just a little. ”Hailee’s in the Bedroom?”

Saffron froze as well, then snickered, snorted, and laughed. ”Oh. Oh, love. The look on your face.” She shook her head and forced out. ”She’s fine, love. You remember, Siobhan had that talk with her. Not to mention that they’re doing a medical procedure, nothing more. Canta is like a father to Siobhan, really.”

I blushed. ”Yeah. Yeah, I get that, but... Isn’t the room just a little, y’know, suggestive? Not to mention smelling like natural lubrication?”

She rolled her eyes. ”Our Holy Garb has taken care of most of that.”

”Kinda think Hailee’s nose might be sensitive, like Marie’s.”

Saffron just shrugged. ”Poor children in the Yards often grow up woken on occasion by their parents’ lovemaking, and they grow up none the worse for it. We at least avoid that.” She paused in thought a moment, then said, ”I wonder sometimes if our children are too sheltered.”

”Fuck it. Better too sheltered than not sheltered enough.”

She smirked at me. ”Not even going to attempt to shelter them the correct amount?”

I smiled back. ”Okay, yeah, sure, I don’t object to that, but, y’know, err on the side of caution. Speaking of, shouldn’t we just keep the defensive Wards up now?”

She shook her head. ”We would burn through the Mana deposits beneath the Homestead in short order should we do that. If there is a clear and present danger, certainly, but using them otherwise is just wasteful, and might leave us without defenses during an actual attack.”

I sighed, remembering that whole ’fighting the last war’ thing. ”Yeah. What about somebody, like, being sneaky about parting the Alarm Wards from the outside?”

She shook her head. ”Not likely, although I’ll take that into account.” She paused, then smiled again. ”Thinking of ways you’d break in and do unto those in our Homestead were you a villain?”

I shrugged. ”If I can think of it, I’m sure somebody else could.”

”Yes. Thank you for thinking of that, love. Please let me know if you think of any other weaknesses.”

I nodded. ”Uh, what about using Cold Iron on the defensive Wards?”

Yeah, the look on her face then made me realize Isnomi being Predatory wasn’t an accident. ”I believe I am accurately quoting my Goddess when I say, ’I wish a motherfucker would’.” When I blinked at her statement and vehemence, she shrugged. ”Enough Cold Iron to overwhelm those defenses would be substantially more than any Mortal could carry. Anything less will denature. Probably liquify, frankly.”

”Good.” I had a thought just then. Projecting my mental voice so Saffron could hear as well, I thought, Marie? How’s the examination coming along?

Well.

Any idea how much longer?

That brought a pause, followed by, Likely Tomorrow.

Okay then. Want us to bring you two dinner?

Already Did.

I looked at Saffron. ”I’d probably screw things up by going there now, wouldn’t I?”

She sighed and nodded. ”That would be why Tallulah and I are remaining here as well.” At my head tilt, she explained, ”Archmagi have somewhat more impact on their environment in M-Space than other Mortals. Marie is quite good at minimizing hers.”

”I’m not an Archmage.”

She snorted. ”Only because you’ve yet to find something worth your time to emplace.” When I shot her the ’WTF’ look, she laughed again. ”As I said, love. You’re fine with Artificing, you just need a sturdy enough medium to hold your Shaping. If the world itself wasn’t sturdy enough before, I’m certain the System Spell has improved its carrying capacity.”

I just kinda stared at her for a while, watching her eat her bird preserve sandwich and smirk at me. When she finished, she held her fingers up for me to lick them clean. Which I did despite the jelly on fowl thing. At which point she smirked at me again.

”Speaking of,” she reached for my hand, and when Interlaced my fingers with hers, she slipped us both backward into the Bath. ”While you are not and never have been a villain? I have a very persistent urge for you to do unto me like one.”

Yeah. Dopamine released. Dreamt of my ladies watching Siobhan’s Canta bean examination until Saffron arrived and changed the channel to the Bath, at which point the rest of the ladies decided to reenact the whole scene with my tentacles. I mean, I’d used them in the Bath, so the recreations were pretty accurate.

Took the kids to math class today. Sorta weird realizing that the Temple of Love had some of the same kinds of defenses as the Homestead, just powered by the Ley Line running overhead instead of Mana deposits. Also weird to know that the doors standing open didn’t mean folks could waltz right in with the intent to harm.

I mean, they could, but they’d wind up with an entire Temple worth of heat. Including me.