Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

”If only Vengeance remains,

Focus all of your efforts,

On those most responsible.”

- Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Vengeance

For much of the Book of Vengeance, Tabitha has cautioned us not to turn too quickly to Vengance, lest we forgo better options. In moments of deep intimate communion with our Goddess, she has vouchsafed to me that Vengeance, like violence, is the worst option, the last resort when all else has failed, and for the same reasons. Vengeance, like violence, always costs us more than we think it will, not least of which are the opportunities we forgo when we employ it.

But she is a Goddess of Vengeance. She recognizes that while it ought always be the final option, that means it is always an option. However, even once all other options have been exhausted or taken from us, she still encourages us to remain in control of ourselves, to remember that even at our lowest, we still have Agency.

When we seek Vengeance, she exhorts us to remain focused, to mete out our Vengeance first on those most responsible for our injuries. The intent of this commandment is not only to protect innocents, as well as protecting us from staining our hands with the blood of innocents, but also to help us to achieve Vengeance. For if we truly have so little left that Vengeance is our only option, we do not have the resources to waste on petty distractions, but must focus our efforts on bringing down those who brought us low.

- Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

Yeah, I definitely like both how this Verse turned out and how Saffron interpreted and expanded on it. I mean, I get it, I’m a Goddess of Vengeance. I dunno if that’s because there’s some part deep inside me that craves it, or if it’s how people saw me after that first Autumn Equinox and the Battle of the Walls, or it’s inherent to Big Black and her Dommy Mommy Issues, but I am a Goddess of Vengeance. I don’t know if there’s some way to excise a Domain, or if I’m stuck with it forever, but one thing I’m not going to do as a Goddess is cry like a little whiny bitch until someone comes along and fixes it for me. Not just because the only people around who might do it aren’t ones I’d trust any further than I can throw them. Okay, given that ’into the sun’ is an option there, significantly less far than I could throw them.

So since I’m a Goddess of Vengeance and some people are gonna pray to me like that, I gotta own that shit. I’ve pointed out that Vengeance shouldn’t be the go-to shit for every one of Fate’s outrageous slings and arrows. No, I don’t remember that quote really well, and I’m not gonna to scry on the Globe or some shit to sort it out, either. But if people are gonna come to me and jump through the hoops I’ve set up for them, when they get to the ’do a Vengeance’ step of the flow chart, the least I can do is show them how to do it right. How to actually get Vengeance, not pop off and shoot a bunch of K through six because Debbie wouldn’t do your dipshit ass.

Shit, I’m probably gonna get some asshole praying to me for just that. Not the mass shooter thing; if someone is following me and tries that shit, they’re obviously not following me. As the Deity in question, I’m gonna call that some Heretical shit right there. They openly call on me while doing that shit, and I hear about it, I’m gonna be paying a visit, and they will not be the one I’m helping. On the other hand, if Dipshit Dave’s entire life has fallen apart, and he decides that it started with Debbie Downer publicly humiliating him when a simple ’no’ would have done the trick, I’m really gonna have a quandry. I guess I’ll have to direct him to the ’non-violent Vengeance’ queue or some shit. Maybe help him get hot and buff and... fuck, I dunno, fuck Debbie’s boyfriend or some shit. Consensually, of course.

Why my life gotta be this complex? I just wanna get busy with my partners, play with my kids, and maybe both cook and eat some nice food.

Shit. Maybe that’s why I’ve gotten so many fuckin’ followers here and now. Because they know that all those fuckin’ things I’m vaguely embarrassed about are what I’ll do, not for fun on a boring Tuesday, but when someone interrupts my basic bitch boring Tuesday night pizza, board games, and after-lights-out orgasm exchange with atrocity. Which, y’know, maybe that’s what the vast bulk of people want. Just to do their own thing with their own people. With the caveat that if some asshole interrupts that in a rude unneccesary way, they reserve the right to pull that asshole’s nipples out through their urethra.

Yeah. I could back that up and not feel six kinds of bad about it.

So yesterday when I brought everybody home, Saffron and Tallulah stepped up to the bedroom and firmly but gently pulled Felicia, Borysthenis, Calliope and Garde away from me, shifting yowling Borysthenis and growling Calliope over to Marie.

”Time for your Revel, love.”

I collapsed back to one of me and rolled to the edge of the bed. ”You sure?”

She nodded, with Tallulah nodding behind her. ”Your people need to see you. You need to be seen. You wouldn’t want to leave your newest High Priestess waiting, would you?”

”Madeline?”

”Yes, love.”

I slapped my thighs. ”You guys sure?”

They all nodded, smiling at me, Tallulah and Saffron playing with the kittens as they did.

I nodded, smiled at them and said, ”see you guys in the morning!” Then I fell back onto the altar I’d seen in Norfolk on my birthday.

I looked around before sitting up. Off in the distance I saw the peak of the Queen’s longhouse, and a few tall masts poking above the hill it sat on. When I sat up I realized the altar sat on a dais in the middle of an outdoor amphitheater. A really big one. And when I say big, I mean Olga sat cross legged with a few other Jotnar near her. They took up like a quarter of the audience space, but that’s all they took up. The rest of the crowd just lounged in small groups. I guess it wasn’t really so much an ’amphitheater’ as an artificial depression in the ground, because the ’seating’ wasn’t really so much seating as a long, slow slope suitable for sitting on.

I turned to see Madeline standing next to the altar. ”Goddess.”

I stood, holding out my hand, and she stepped into my arms. I looked into that secret place in her mind, and smiled at what I saw. ”Like Siobhan?”

She smiled shyly and quietly replied, ”like your other High Priestesses?”

I nodded, and pulled her into a kiss. Then I pulled her back onto the bed with me, and showed off my newest High Priestess to the congregation.

After I laid her down on the bed, exhausted, I turned to see Olga stepping up, then kneeling in front of the altar. I looked up at her. Way up. She had to be at least thirty feet tall kneeling like that. ”So... I’m guessing you’re my senior Clergy down here?”

She shook her head, smiling. ”We don’t have any proper Clergy yet. Just volunteers.”

At that point Svart stepped up alongside her. ”She and I did most of the work here.”

I waved them both to me, and looked into them, into that deep secret place, and saw the same thing in both of them. I smiled, Co-Locating in front each of them, Mimicking them, Mimicking their Size as well. I let Olga pull me to the ground as Svart, pulled Svart to the altar as Olga.

There, on that gentle slope and on my altar, I let Olga and Svart have an evening together, one that they’d never been able to have before.