Cultivation Chat Group

Chapter 573: Brother Medicine Master, book me a hospital bed for another half a month!

Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu

Whenever Fairy Lychee sent her selfies in the Nine Provinces Number One Group, it was a blessing for all the members. There were many beautiful fairy maidens in the world of cultivators, but it was very rare to see a fairy maiden as beautiful as Fairy Lychee that liked to send her selfies to others.

Today, the blessing came during the early hours of the morning.

At this time, in True Monarch Yellow Mountainʼs immortal cave.

A pekingese had locked himself inside a small black room. It had already been more than half a month since he had locked himself in there.

Doudou was shrinking in the corner of the small black room with a tablet in his hands, silently taking a look at what was going on in the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

At this time, he was unable to write anything in the group since True Monarch Yellow Mountain had silenced him for 30 days.

At the same time, he was unable to speak in real life as well since True Monarch Yellow Mountain had silenced him for a whole year.

This time around, stupid Yellow Mountain was truly angry.

Fairy Lychee sent a selfie in the group. Stupid Yellow Mountainʼs mood should improve after seeing her pictures, right?

Anyway, that Shuhang has no loyalty at all! He didnʼt get online for such a long time... and when he was online a few days ago, he didnʼt even look for me! Truly no loyalty! Doesnʼt he know that Iʼm currently facing the biggest crisis of my dog life?! Woof, woof!

Doudou was very depressed at this time. Although he had locked himself inside a small black room, he still had a way to obtain information from the outside world. Otherwise, if he didnʼt have a few tricks up his sleeve, how could he frequently get out of True Monarch Yellow Mountainʼs immortal cave and run away from home?

According to the information Doudou obtained, True Monarch Yellow Mountain was planning to meet with several fellow daoists. At the same time, he was completing the preparations for his wedding ceremony.

Anyway, the wedding itself wasnʼt the problem. After all, he was a monster dog of the Fourth Stage that would soon condense a Monster Core, reaching the Fifth Stage Realm. He was supernova amongst monsters, and it was right about time for him to look for a female dog and father a litter of puppies.

The real problem was *whom* he was going to marry during the wedding!

He was simply unable to imagine the scene of himself wearing feminine attire and getting married.

What is stupid Yellow Mountain planning to do in the end? Is he planning to castrate me? Or does he have a method to turn me into a female dog?

Aside from these two options, there was another option that made Doudou feel even more uneasy... what if he was a female monster dog from the very beginning! Perhaps his ʼlittle Doudouʼ was just something fake that stupid Yellow Mountain had attached there with a mysterious magical technique?

Is it possible that I was a female dog from the very beginning?

For the past few days, Doudou had been continuously thinking about this terrifying scenario.

After he brought him back to the immortal cave, True Monarch Yellow Mountain didnʼt come to meet Doudou again. He had been busy preparing his wedding ceremony.

Yellow Mountainʼs natural and nonchalant actions had started to make Doudou question his dog life and gender.

No, I canʼt sit and wait for death. I have to get out of this situation. Whether he wants to castrate me, turn me into a female dog, or even if Iʼm a female dog to begin with... this is not the dog life I want! Actually, I donʼt want to live the life of a dog in the first place. But if I have to choose, I would choose the life of a dog god!

Doudou switched off the tablet with his paws and prepared to run away from home another time. In addition, he wasnʼt planning to stay on Earth this time.

He decided to head toward the boundless space just like Song Shuhang!

If even a rookie of the Second Stage like Song Shuhang could survive in space, what problem could a pekingese of the Fourth Stage like him have? He couldnʼt possibly starve to death, right?

Oh, right. Better get a few fasting pills before leaving home.

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At this time, in the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

Even if it was early morning, there were many fellow daoists online. After all, powerful cultivators didnʼt need to sleep too long.

Copper Trigram, who was currently lying on the hospital bed, tried to curry favor. ”Fairy Lychee, you look truly beautiful. Was the dress of your liking?”

Fairy Lychee: ”I have forgiven you!”

Thereupon, Copper Trigram happily reverted his ʼHospitalized Copper Trigramʼ ID to Immortal Master Copper Trigram. Then, he got up from the hospital bed. There was no need to pretend to be injured anymore.

But right at this time, Northern Riverʼs Loose Cultivator sent a sneering (😈) emoji in the group.

Northern Riverʼs Loose Cultivator: ”Copper Trigram, I have something to ask you.”

”Donʼt bother, useless Northern River. I wonʼt reply to your question!” Immortal Master Copper Trigram quickly replied.

”...” Northern Riverʼs Loose Cultivator.

Then, Immortal Master Copper Trigram also added, ”Of course, if you politely call me ʼYour Excellency Copper Trigramʼ, I might consider replying to your question, but only IF my mood is good.”

Northern Riverʼs Loose Cultivator gritted his teeth and said, ”Damned shady fortune teller! Iʼll make sure to kill you on the summit of the forbidden city on September 1st!”

Immortal Master Copper Trigram laughed loudly and said, ”Iʼll return the same sentence to you! Youʼll be the one to die, useless Northern River! Ahahaha!”

Since Fairy Lychee had finally forgiven him, his current mood was pretty good. In addition, his wounds and that of his disciple, Immortal Fortune Teller Iron Trigram, were changing for the better. As such, Copper Trigram got the feeling that the world was truly a wonderful place.

”...” Northern Riverʼs Loose Cultivator.

Su Clanʼs Seven popped out and asked out of curiosity, ”Northern River, what did you want to ask Copper Trigram?”

”Brother Seven, this question of yours is really good,” Northern Riverʼs Loose Cultivator said with a smile. ”I was wondering about the fact that this shady fortune teller assumed Fairy Lycheeʼs appearance to perform his shady divinations once. In that case, I wanted to ask him... except for Fairy Lychee, did he assume the appearance of other fellow daoists from the Nine Provinces Number One Group to perform his terrible divinations?”

As soon as he saw this question, Immortal Master Copper Trigram had a bad premonition.

”F*ck!” Thrice Reckless Mad Saber popped out and sent a voice message.

The possibility that Copper Trigram had done such matters was very high, and everyone couldnʼt help but become vigilant.

Su Clanʼs Seven: ” @Immortal Master Copper Trigram, I would also like to hear the answer to this question!”

Fairy Lychee: ”Hehehe.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: ” @Immortal Master Copper Trigram, I would also like to hear the answer to this question!”

Afterward, other fellow daoists also popped out and started to flood the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

Immortal Master Copper Trigram: ”Ahahaha, the weather is pretty good today, isnʼt it? Anyway, you guys can keep chatting. I remembered that I have something to do and will leave first, bye.”

What good weather! It was just early morning in China, and it was completely dark outside!

After seeing Immortal Master Copper Trigramʼs message, Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman was unable to keep his composure and said, ”Fellow Daoist Copper Trigram, wait a moment! Does that mean that you assumed my appearance as well while performing your shady divinations?”

No wonder several seniors of his sect were strangely looking at him five years ago. He had always felt that there had been some kind of misunderstanding during that period of time. Such being the case, was it possible that this shady fortune teller had assumed his appearance and caused trouble outside, finally shifting the blame onto him?

”Hehe, I suddenly remembered a certain matter. A hundred years ago, some fellow daoists asked me if I had practiced divination techniques. I was rather confused back then. So... Fellow Daoist Copper Trigram, did you really assume my appearance back then to perform some of your shady divinations? 😈” Su Clanʼs Seven said and sent a sneering emoji.

It seemed that Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman wasnʼt the only one that had had a similar problem.

At this time, Immortal Master Copper Trigram felt that the hand he was using to hold the phone wasnʼt too steady anymore.

”You donʼt want to reply, huh? Fellow Daoist Copper Trigram, my blade is already itching for some action!” Su Clanʼs Seven said. After all, he was Seven the battle maniac, and fighting with others was one of the things he liked the most.

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: ”My treasured sword is also itching for some action!”

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: [Picture of a cute puppy].

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: [Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed].

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: ”Now that Iʼm done making fun of myself, my halberd is also itching for some action!”

Dharma King Creation: ”My singing voice is also itching for some action!”

”Wait a moment, Brother Dharma King. There is no need to mutually wound each other. I, Thrice Reckless Mad Saber, will take on your itching as well. My saber is already doubly itching for some action!” Thrice Reckless Mad Saber said hastily.

”What Fellow Daoist Thrice Reckless said is reasonable,” True Monarch Ancient Lake Temple said calmly. Dharma King Creationʼs voice was as bad as nuclear pollution and didnʼt distinguish between friends and foes...

When the bright moon appears: ”Fellow Daoist Copper Trigram shouldnʼt have assumed my appearance, right?”

Fairy Lychee: ”Fellow Daoist Scholar Sober Eye, Immortal Master Copper Trigram probably didnʼt even remember about you.”

”Thank you, Fairy Lychee 😩.” When the bright moon appears sent a ʼsighingʼ emoji and continued, ”But my name is Scholar Drunken Moon. If you canʼt remember it, you can use the ʼset footnoteʼ feature!”

”Iʼm sorry, Iʼm sorry,” Fairy Lychee continuously apologized. But for some unknown reason, she didnʼt feel like using the ʼset footnoteʼ feature in Scholar Drunken XXXʼs case.

At this time, Northern Riverʼs Loose Cultivator added an extra blade to the ones dangling over Immortal Master Copper Trigramʼs head. ”Hehe, Fellow Daoist Copper Trigram, you are still at Medicine Masterʼs place, right? I just checked your IP.”

Dammit, my IP was exposed!

Immortal Master Copper Trigram quietly put down his mobile phone and took a deep breath.

Then, he grabbed his turtle shell, preparing to perform a self-divination. Although fortune tellers didnʼt perform self-divinations in normal times, Immortal Master Copper Trigramʼs current situation was rather special.

The copper coins in the turtle shell flung out and fell to the ground, forming a very beautiful picture.

It was a good draw that represented good luck and prosperity.

Immortal Master Copper Trigramʼs eyes immediately started to tear up.

In the next moment, he said heroically to the distant Medicine Master, ”Brother Medicine Master~ can you book me a VIP hospital bed for another ten days? No, wait. Book it directly until September 1st!”

Medicine Master quietly put his phone down and nodded, saying, ”Sure, no problem. Fellow Daoist Copper Trigram, you can recover from your wounds in peace in here.”

Of course, Medicine Master had been lurking in the group all along and already knew what was happening.

Immortal Master Copper Trigram said, ”Brother Medicine Master is truly considerate.”

”A doctor is like a parent for his patients. No matter how bad your injuries are, Iʼll make sure to patch you up,” Medicine Master said.

Immortal Master Copper Trigram was moved and on the verge of tears.

At this time, Medicine Master also asked, ”Anyway, I have a question. Fellow Daoist Copper Trigram, did you assume my appearance too in order to perform your shady divinations?”

Immortal Master Copper Trigramʼs whole body stiffened. Then, after a while, he forced a smile and said, ”About that... I shouldnʼt have done it, I guess?”

”From your reaction, you probably did it.” Medicine Master quietly nodded his head.

Immortal Master Copper Trigramʼs legs went soft. Wasnʼt the fact that he had offended the doctor in charge of curing him even more scary than the fact that he was going to be beaten to death very soon?

Earth was getting too dangerous nowadays. Should he consider fleeing to space?

❄️❄️❄️

At this time, inside a luxurious villa in the Jiangnan area.

The palm-sized Yu Jiaojiao was lying on the bed. She had a happy expression on her face while fiddling with the phone with her small claws. She was looking at the recently produced content from a certain author she locked into a small black room.

Although it was just early morning, her mood was especially good.

”Ten chapters per day with each chapter being 3000 characters long. It truly makes me happy to read 30,000 charactersʼ worth of content each day.” Yu Jiaojiao had a satisfied expression on her face.