Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Chapter 69: Chapter 67

Laurel’s smile widened like she had just been personally validated by the fashion gods. ”Of course, Miss! After all, this is the number one boutique in the Imperial Capital! Would you like to try one on?”

I nodded again, already emotionally attached to the item.

The three assistants didn’t even give me time to react before they gently but firmly dragged me toward a full-body mirror like I was about to undergo a transformation arc.

”You can open your eyes now,” Laurel’s voice came, smooth and confident, like she already knew the result.

I opened my eyes then blinked. ’Am I even wearing the veil?’

And then, just to be absolutely sure I wasn’t being scammed by fashion this time, I waved my hand in front of my face.

I leaned forward slightly, squinting at my reflection like it might suddenly glitch.

”...Wait.”

I reached up, touching the veil draped over my eyes, expecting something—a distortion, a shadow, anything—but there was nothing. It was like I wasn’t even wearing one.

No ”fashion over function” nonsense.

”...What kind of sorcery is this?” I muttered under my breath, turning my head side to side just to make sure my vision wasn’t about to betray me.

”This is perfect,” I admitted, because there was no point pretending otherwise.

Then, naturally—

”...How much was this?” I asked, immediately turning to Laurel because there was absolutely no way something this good came cheap.

She just smiled.

The kind of smile that told me I was about to hear something either horrifying or suspicious.

”Don’t worry,” she said sweetly. ”The gentleman who was here already paid for it.”

I paused.

”...Oh right. I almost forgot that this was part of the deal.”

Once again, I found myself deeply impressed by the man who had kidnapped me, used me as a stress reliever, paid me a small fortune1, and now apparently also sponsored my shopping spree.

What a strange, generous, highly questionable individual.

”I see...” I nodded slowly, pretending to accept that answer like a normal person. ”...But how much was it?”

Because I was not letting that go.

I needed to know for... personal reasons.

Financial curiosity, mental preparation, and closure.

Laurel only smiled wider. ”Just think of it as a gift given to you.”

I stared at her suspiciously.

”...Then can I at least ask for his name?” I tried again, because if I was going to accidentally acquire a secret benefactor, I deserved some information.

”I’m sorry, Miss, but that would be a violation of client privacy,” she replied without missing a beat. ”Let’s just call him... your secret admirer.”

...

..

.

”...That is the most suspicious phrase I’ve heard today,” I muttered.

Judging by how smoothly she dodged every single one of my questions, that man was definitely not just some random customer.

He was dangerously high-profile.

The kind of person whose name probably came with titles, influence, and the ability to casually drop half a million without blinking.

I shook my head.

’Soren is also high-profile,’ I reminded myself.

And yet here I was, still alive and still accepting free things.

”...You know what,” I muttered under my breath, shrugging off the entire situation with the grace of someone who had decided not to question her good fortune. ”As long as it’s free, I don’t care anymore.”

Growth.

That was called growth.

I happily grabbed the shopping bags, all my items already elegantly packed like they belonged in a display rather than in my very willing hands.

”Please come again, Miss Blanca!” Laurel said, bowing gracefully.

”Come again, Miss!” Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup echoed in perfect unison, bowing right after her like a well-trained performance group.

I waved casually, already halfway out the door.

”Yeah, yeah—I will,” I said, because let’s be honest, if this place came with mystery benefactors and free luxury items, I was absolutely coming back.

I thought the rest of my day would be peaceful but the moment I stepped outside, someone past through me running and screaming for his life.

”WHERE IS THE LADY??!! WHERE’S THAT DAMN MAID??!! WHERE ARE THEY WHEN I DESPERATELY NEED THEM?!!”

I stepped outside, fully expecting the rest of my day to be peaceful, calm, uneventful.

’You know... having a normal day. Maybe I’d even grab a drink, admire my purchases, reflect on how I had somehow profited from being kidnapped—’

The universe, apparently, took that personally.

The moment I stepped outside, someone ran straight through me like I was a decorative object instead of a person holding multiple very expensive shopping bags.

I stumbled back, clutching my shopping bags like they were my children. ”...What the—”

”WHERE IS THE LADY??!! WHERE’S THAT DAMN MAID??!! WHERE ARE THEY WHEN I DESPERATELY NEEDED THEM?!!”

The voice echoed through the street with the kind of desperation usually reserved for people being chased by death itself.

I blinked.

Slowly.

”...Wait,” I muttered, squinting at the figure sprinting away like his life depended on it.

’Was that... Gawain?’

A pause.

’I forgot about him.’

I stood there, processing my own negligence, when suddenly—

thunderous footsteps.

I turned just in time to see eight people charging past me in pursuit, each one armed like they were heading into battle instead of chasing a single unfortunate soul.

”COME BACK HERE!”

”WHEN WILL YOU STOP?!”

”LET ME TRY HOW SHARP MY SWORD IS ON YOU!”

”DAMN SLIPPERY SNAKE! JUST WAIT ’TIL I SHOVE MY BOOTS UP YOUR—”

”WHERE’S AQUILA?! HE’S THE FASTEST AMONG US!”

”THE COMMANDER IS ALREADY GETTING ANGRY!”

”SPADE SHOULD BE THE ONE CHASING AFTER THIS GUY! IT WAS HIS FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE WHY THIS SNAKE MANAGED TO ESCAPE!”

”FIRST ONE TO CATCH HIM HAS THE HONOR OF SKINNING HIM ALIVE!”

I stood there, completely still, my shopping bags dangling from my hands, my soul temporarily exiting my body as I watched what could only be described as a live-action disaster sprint past me.

”...What kind of side quest did I just unlock?” I muttered.

My jaw slowly dropped as I followed the chaos with my eyes, trying to piece together how half my day went from luxury shopping to what looked suspiciously like a public execution chase scene with bonus yelling and weapons.

And then, as if things weren’t absurd enough, Agatha appeared.

Not running.

Not rushing.

Not even slightly concerned.

No.

She was strolling.

Leisurely.

Like she had all the time in the world.

Wearing sunglasses like she was on a beach vacation instead of in the middle of a manhunt, casually eating ice cream like the screams in the background were just part of the ambiance.

She walked past me like she had front-row tickets to the entire disaster, watching everything unfold with the calm, detached energy of someone enjoying a street performance.

I stared at her, at the direction where Gawain had just sprinted for his life, then back at her.

”...Agatha?” I called, because I needed confirmation that I hadn’t finally lost my sanity.

She stopped mid-step and turned her head towards me.

The moment she realized it was me, she reacted with the speed of someone who had just been caught doing something illegal.

The sunglasses and ice cream were both thrown far enough that I was genuinely concerned for innocent bystanders.

After that, she walked up to me like nothing happened.

”I didn’t know you were already done shopping,” she said casually, as if she hadn’t just yeeted evidence of her crimes across the street, before gently taking my shopping bags like a proper, responsible maid.

”So...” I started, gesturing vaguely toward the chaos like it might explain itself, ”why are those angry mobs chasing Gawain instead of, I don’t know, the actual person responsible? Soren?”

”They’re the Master’s personal squad,” Agatha replied calmly, adjusting her grip on the bags. ”They’re called the Mad Dogs because of how unhinged and crazy they are, and they only follow the Master’s orders.” She paused briefly, glancing in the direction of the ongoing chaos. ”Sir Spade and Sir Aquila are also among them.”

I stared at her. ”...Mad Dogs.”

”Yes.”

As if on cue, another scream echoed in the distance, followed by a crash, and more yelling.

I slowly turned back to her.

”I’m guessing they received orders from Soren himself?” I asked.

Agatha nodded. ”Most likely.”

I took a deep breath, exhaled, then pointed towards the direction of Gawain’s impending doom. ”Are you not going to help?”

”Why would I?” she replied, tone as relaxed as her walking pace earlier. ”This is the most entertaining thing I’ve seen all day.”

I stared at her. ”...Seriously?”

”If I help him,” she continued, completely unbothered, ”the Master would punish me. Severely.”

Then, with the calmness of someone assigning chores—

”So the only safe option is you saving that idiot.”

I slowly pointed at myself. ”...Me.”

”Yes.”

”...Against eight armed lunatics named Mad Dogs.”

”Yes.”

”...Who wants to skin someone alive.”

”Yes.”

”...And that someone is currently running for his life.”

”Yes.”

I stared at her.

She stared back, completely serious.

I sighed.

Agatha was still Soren’s maid and Gawain, unfortunately, was my manny and he’s still my responsibility.

”...I hate this day,” I muttered, already mentally preparing myself to run towards danger like I hadn’t just come out of a luxury shopping experience.

Somewhere in the distance, Gawain screamed again.

Louder this time.

”...I REALLY HATE THIS DAY!!”

yes it’s still small according to Blanca