Back Then, I Adored You

The joke I received promptly every day at three in the morning… The night I fainted from a stomachache and my next-door neighbor got me to the hospital… And the Christmas present I received a few days ago from him—action figures…

It was precisely because Zero Degrees had given her so much warmth and moved her so tremendously that Xu Wennuan had always been curious about what kind of person he was. It was also why she had always wanted to have more interaction with him and why she had traveled more than a thousand miles from Beijing to Shanghai just for a chance to know him. Even dreaming about meeting him had put her in an incredibly good mood and made her feel blissful.

Reality, however, was often more overwhelming than exciting. Now, she wasn’t feeling happiness or joy, only shock and confusion.

Why did Zero Degrees turn out to be Lu Bancheng? Why is Lu Bancheng the person behind Zero Degrees? How is it possible for the person who has been the reason for my nightmares and misery to be the same person who has given me so much warmth and support? How can the person whom I hate the most in this world move me so at the same time?

Xu Wennuan’s heart was utterly conflicted. It was as though there were two tiny figures fighting in her head, causing her heartbeat to accelerate frantically. She wasn’t clear if she was feeling afraid or completely shocked. As she thought about it, she rose from the chair beside the hospital bed.

She took Lu Bancheng’s phone and returned to the home page before she haphazardly tossed it onto the bed, turned around, and fled from the hospital.

……

After flagging a taxi and returning to the hotel, Xu Wennuan instantly started to pack her luggage. It wasn’t even five in the morning when she arrived at the airport. There, she waited for five hours in the terminal hall before boarding the plane that took her back to Beijing.

……

Upon returning home, Xu Wennuan pulled the blanket over herself and slept. When she woke up, she ate dinner and then ordered a new cell phone online. Subsequently, she forced herself not to think about anything and went back to sleep.

The following afternoon, Xu Wennuan made a trip to the public security department to replace her identification card. With the temporary identification card issued to her, she headed to the bank for a new bank card before finally going to the mobile shop to get a new phone card.

It was five in the afternoon by the time she returned to the clubhouse, where her new phone had already been delivered. She inserted her card, activated the phone, and downloaded the applications that she frequently used. After spending some time staring at the game app, she ultimately chose to delete it. Then, she turned on the computer at her desk and started carefully looking through the financial statements that had accumulated over the past few days. As Xu Wennuan scanned through them, the concentration of words seemed to transform into little black ants. She inhaled forcefully, picked up her phone, and redownloaded the game she had just deleted.

Xu Wennuan set her phone aside and continued reading the statements, but less than a minute later she deleted the game once again. She repeated this cycle several times until she finally covered her ears in frustration and knocked her head against the table a couple of times. Thereafter, she switched off her phone.

She then stared at her computer screen and typed a few words before she halted all movement. She cocked her head and stared at the little green plant on the desk. She picked up her phone, switched it on again, and was just about to enter the game when she recalled that Lu Bancheng was oblivious to her knowledge of his identity as Zero Degrees. Consequently, she retracted her fingers and navigated to her contact list.