Back Then, I Adored You

That was a thought that she had never had before, and it was something that she never would have expected herself to think about.

I no longer want to chat with Zero just in the virtual world. I want to talk to him face to face in the real world like two people who found each other among all the people in the world.

I want to see Zero and to be actual friends with him.

A gust of chilling winter breeze blew toward her, making her body tremble from cold but also bringing her back to her senses, at which point she realized that what she wanted was to take things a step further with Zero. As if in shock, Xu Wennuan’s lips moved a few times, and she swallowed her saliva in several gulps before her heart calmed down.

The temperature was low and, with her window broken, she had no way to heat her apartment. Even though she lived on a high floor, she also felt unsafe with her apartment accessible through her balcony, so she ultimately packed a bag and left to get a hotel room close to the spa.

That night after she’d gone to sleep, she dreamed that Zero asked to meet her by the Huangpu River at a cafe, which was playing melodious, relaxing music when she arrived. Running late, when he reached the sidewalk outside the café, he immediately spotted her sitting at the window and staring at the night skyline from her table. He walked inside and straight to where she was sitting. After apologizing to her politely, only then did he beckon the waiter to take their order.

Because she had never seen Zero, though, in real life, she didn’t know what he looked like, so his face was blurry in her dream. Dressed in a black shirt, he sat down across from her, and a deep silence enveloped their table. Neither of them said a word—They only sat and gazed at one another. The background view outside was glorious, with the night brilliantly lit and the reflections shimmering in the Huangpu River.

Xu Wennuan’s lips could not help but curl up more as she dreamed and, eventually, she woke up smiling. When she opened her eyes, it was already bright outside.

Xu Wennuan checked out of the room and quickly got to the spa. While working in the clubhouse all morning, she kept thinking about the dream that she’d had the night before. During her lunch break, she was so obsessed with it, that she laid her head on her desk and dreamed about meeting Zero again.

It was not the same scene as before, but it was just as beautiful. They walked in silence on a long street while a seemingly endless crisp, dry snow floated down from the sky, making their horizon seem like the end of the world.

Xu Wennuan only woke up from her dream when the alarm that she had set on her cell phone buzzed. When she picked it up and turned the alarm off, she could not help but open the game and check on Zero. After a moment’s hesitation, she typed, “Zero, let’s meet up…”

She didn’t dare to send out the message and stared at her words for a long time. Although she could not figure out why it made her so nervous, she could not muster the confidence. She finally deleted each word and then placed her phone down and returned back to work; however, she remained extremely distracted.

……

It was a Friday that day and, after Xu Wennuan got off work, she returned to her parents’ house. With Christmas approaching soon, the traffic in Beijing was paralyzed that night. By the time she reached the main part of Second Ring Road, on one stretch all cars came to a complete halt, unable to move for 10 minutes at one point.

After being in the car for so long, Xu Wennuan felt stuffy and slightly lowered the car window to catch a breath of fresh air. Just when she was about to roll the window up, she caught sight of two familiar figures seated in the car behind hers through the rearview mirror.