Who Let Him Play Yugioh? (Re-Upload)

Mystic Tomato, destroyed!

The Venom Snake coiled around the tomato, its sharp fangs sinking in with a bite. Mystic Tomato burst apart with a pop—but immediately after, a beam of golden light shot out from Kira’s deck.

”From my deck, I Special Summon in Attack Position a DARK monster with 1500 or less ATK—’Witch of the Black Forest.’”

A witch in a black robe appeared on the field, eyes gently closed, long purple hair cascading softly down.

[Witch of the Black Forest, ATK 1100]

Viper said, ”I set one card. My turn ends.”

”Then it’s my turn. Draw.” Kira said, ”I Normal Summon ’Don Zaloog.’”

The one-eyed bandit leader’s card flashed, and the monster emerged from the golden glow released by the card. He crouched low, cowboy-style, twirling his revolver with practiced flair, then struck a cool pose as he landed.

[Don Zaloog, ATK 1400]

”Zaloog, attack ’Venom Snake.’”

”Heh, leave it to me!”

Zaloog puffed his chest and strode forward. His revolver barked twice—bang, bang! The bullets pierced the Venom Snake’s thick scales, and it burst apart with a snap.

[Viper, LP 4000 → LP 3800]

”Barely a scratch,” Viper snapped. ”I activate my set card, the Trap Card ’Snake Whistle’! This can only be activated when a Reptile monster you control is destroyed. Special Summon a Level 4 or lower Reptile from your Deck.”

Viper pulled out his deck, spread it, and searched for a card.

”I Special Summon ’Venom Cobra’!”

He slapped the card onto his Duel Disk. A massive cobra covered in hard scales appeared on his field, its body coiled into a mound—when it lowered itself, it almost looked like a fortress.

[Venom Cobra, DEF 2000]

Adrian adjusted his glasses from the side. ”Professor Viper’s Duel Disk is an older model—you have to manually search and shuffle.”

Viper shot him a sidelong glance, puzzled. ”So what?”

”Nothing,” Adrian smiled. ”The new models are better.”

A lesson paid in blood.

Adrian had decided—on the way back, even if he had to leverage every connection in his conglomerate, he was going to buy a new auto-shuffling Duel Disk from KaibaCorp.

Otherwise, you’re at such a disadvantage against certain… dark-hearted, twisted types.

”Makes no sense,” Viper muttered.

”Two thousand DEF, huh? Impressive. That means my Witch of the Black Forest can’t beat it,” Kira said. ”But Don Zaloog’s effect:

When this card inflicts battle damage to your opponent, you can either make them send the top card of their deck to the GY, or discard 1 random card from their hand.”

Kira crook-ed his finger.

”I’ll take the latter. Come now, Professor—destroy a card in your hand.”

Zaloog had been itching. He snickered. ”Been waiting for this.”

He drew his revolver and fired—bang!

The bullet punched a transparent hole through one of the cards in Viper’s hand; in the projection, it shattered into golden fragments.

”Tch. Just as underhanded as the rumors say.”

Viper snorted.

”My turn, then. Draw.”

He glanced at the card he drew, didn’t add it to his hand just yet, and looked up at Kira before activating anything.

”This turn, I’ll show you the terror of my Venom Deck!

First, I activate the Spell Card ’Snake Rain’!

By discarding 1 card, I can send 4 Reptile monsters from my Deck to the GY!”

Another ”broken on description alone” card—across the entire Yu-Gi-Oh! pool, few are this degenerate. A single card to freely dump four specific monsters?

If it were for Warriors or Dragons, it would be sky-high busted.

And yet, despite power on the level of a tactical nuke, this Spell has stayed out of the banlist for years. Which tells you just how trash Reptiles have been in the meta—so bad that even with a card like this, Konami shrugged.

Viper sent four Reptiles from his deck to the GY, then said:

”Also, the card I discarded was the Spell ’Card of Compensation.’ When this card is sent from the hand to the GY, draw 2 cards.” (Anime card)

Viper drew two.

Zaloog gritted his teeth. ”Damn it, I worked so hard to knock just one card from his hand…”

”That’s how the draw engines in this world are,” Kira said, long used to it—not just used to it, perfectly adapted.

”Next, I activate the Equip Spell ’Sacrifice of Grave Goods.’]

”Equip it to ’Venom Cobra.’

A monster equipped with this card, when used as Tribute for a Tribute Summon, can treat this Equip Spell as an additional monster for the Tribute!” (Manga card)

Viper drew another card.

”And now the Continuous Spell ’Precious Cards from Beyond’!

Each time you Tribute Summon using 2 or more Tributes, draw 2 cards.”

Preparations complete, Viper clenched his right fist.

”Therefore, I Tribute ’Venom Cobra’ and the Equip Spell itself as two Tributes!

From the pitch-black, venomous marsh, the incarnation of despair and deadly toxin descends. Appear—

—Level 8, Vennominon the King of Poisonous Snakes!!!”

A bog-like mire opened, green bubbles rising, looking deadlier than poison. Horrific darkness surged up; amid the coiling toxic miasma, a form condensed.

A cobra-like head—with another small snake head at its crown. Eerie eyes glowing red, a cloak trailing behind. Its upper body stood upright like a humanoid; its lower half was still a winding serpent. Its crimson cape looked as if soaked in blood.

[Vennominon the King of Poisonous Snakes, ATK 0]

”There it is—the Venom King,” Kira said. ”Professor Viper’s ace.”

Though Professor Viper only fought once in the entire anime saga, the deck he used—or more accurately his ace monster—caused quite a stir, even inspiring a legion of paper players trying to recreate the circus build to summon it in real life.

Why was Viper’s deck so beloved?

Leaving that aside, the fact that this Level 8 boss has both 0 ATK and 0 DEF already tells you how it really fights.

”Since I Tribute Summoned using two Tributes, ’Precious Cards from Beyond’ activates—I draw 2 cards.”

Viper drew two.

”Vennominon’s ATK is 0, but it gains 500 ATK for each Reptile in my GY!

I currently have Venom Snake, Cobra, and four Reptiles sent by ’Snake Rain,’ so Vennominon’s ATK becomes…”

[Vennominon the King of Poisonous Snakes, ATK 0 → ATK 3000]

In one surge, it reached Blue-Eyes White Dragon–class power!