When She Stops Being Dramatic

Chapter 9: Chapter 9: The Long-Suffering Wife of the 1950s (9)

Director Wang took another look at Zhu Yun’s handwriting. ’Goodness gracious,’ he thought, ’the old saying ”the handwriting reflects the person” really is a pearl of wisdom.’ There weren’t many characters, but each one was as crooked and twisted as if it had fleas, practically leaping off the page. Just like their owner, they seemed designed to get in your face and offend your eyes.

”Ahem, Xiao Zhu, you’ve written the words for ’culinary skills’ all wrong. This first character is missing a whole component, and the second one is missing its top.”

”And how did ’serve the people’ turn into this nonsense?”

”Even a third-grader wouldn’t make this many mistakes on one page! If you don’t recognize a character, just say so. You could even write it out phonetically. Why are you just slapping down any random homophone that comes to mind?”

”You know the old joke about the scholar who only reads half a character? Even he couldn’t hold a candle to you!”

The crowd had been lingering, reluctant to leave. They wanted to find out what jobs they’d be assigned and, while they were at it, curry some favor with the new director. Not a single one had left. Now, hearing the director’s exasperated and heartbroken tirade, they couldn’t help but shrug their shoulders, stifling their laughter.

Zhu Yun blinked, staring at the characters on the paper with a look of horror. ’I’ve been completely screwed over by the Space-Time Administration Bureau!’ she thought.

’Weren’t all the supporting female roles she’d taken over the ”femme fatale” type? They were always breathtakingly beautiful with powerful backgrounds, designed to be the most expensive stepping stones for the male and female leads. They never had to worry about food or clothing, and as soon as their role began, their whole purpose was to gleefully trip up the protagonists.’

’You could say that aside from dying young and in some gruesome, unbearable way, there were practically no flaws to pick. She was free to indulge herself, enjoy her youth, and squander all that filthy lucre.’

’No matter whether the original owners of those bodies liked to study or not, they were all at least literate with passable handwriting. This was the first time she’d ever been assigned a semi-illiterate character!’

Zhu Yun felt a headache coming on. What little she had in her brain had been packed up and put into temporary storage. Aside from her own lazy nature and the sliver of general knowledge accumulated from all her previous missions, she couldn’t find a single iota of anything that could be called ”culture” in her mind.

’Even a Buddhist monk seeking true emptiness wasn’t this thoroughly vacant.’

However, Director Wang was a man with a great capacity for acceptance. Before anyone else could react, he was already consoling her. ”It’s all right if you don’t know all the characters. Xiao Zhu, you’ll just have to put a little more effort into your studies from now on. After all, you’re holding an iron rice bowl from the organization. You should try to follow the organization’s directives and work toward becoming literate.”

”Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll sign you up in a bit, and you can start attending the literacy class tonight.” Director Wang also had quotas to fill for the literacy program, so without even asking, he grabbed a form and wrote down Zhu Yun’s name.

”Even though you’ll be helping in the back of the kitchen where you don’t really need to read, who doesn’t want to move up in the world? Literacy is the ladder. You have to be able to read the names of the dishes to announce them, right?”

Zhu Yun nodded indifferently. ”Director, what job are you going to assign me?”

Director Wang glanced at the ”culinary skills” section she had filled out, then at her listed place of origin. ’What kind of culinary skill could someone from the countryside possibly have?’ he thought. He asked perfunctorily, ”What dishes can you make?”

”Plenty,” Zhu Yun finally puffed out her chest, her chin rising slightly. ’God, that was humiliating. I finally have something I can show off, so I’ve got to brag a little.’ ”My hometown might not be rich,” she declared, ”but it’s the culinary capital of all of Xiahua. Forget everything else—I can make over a hundred different kinds of noodle and pastry dishes, all without a single repeat!”

”For every wedding and funeral in a ten-mile radius, everyone wanted to hire me as the head chef. I only cook the big, impressive dishes—the ’hard hitters.’ Every single plate on every table would be wiped cleaner than if a dog had licked it. The hosts truly had a love-hate relationship with me.”

A few of the women snickered. ”Director, you’re just listening to her brag. She’s a country bumpkin. Her cooking will probably taste of dirt. If you put her in charge of the cooking, it won’t be long before our Number One Cafeteria has to shut down.”

Although this cafeteria was the most recently established, all the others had made way for it, each moving back one number in the sequence. Who could argue? It had been specially approved by the higher-ups to serve the factory’s leadership and foreign guests.

Director Wang himself had clawed his way to his current polished position, fighting through a jungle of well-connected rivals.

He certainly cared about the success of the Number One Cafeteria, but he was unwilling to be the one to break the very rules he had established. He waved his hand dismissively and spoke in a bureaucratic tone, ”Now, now, we can’t talk like that. Our cafeteria has a standardized recruitment process with pre-established rules. Regardless of Xiao Zhu’s actual skill, we still have to follow the procedure this afternoon.”

Zhu Yun didn’t say much. Seeing that there was nothing else for her to do, she confirmed the time for the afternoon’s test and strolled back. On the way, she bought some shriveled-looking apples from a roadside vendor. Five of them cost one yuan, which was more expensive than a catty of meat. But to her, it felt like a steal—the only problem was that the apples were ugly.

Remembering she had promised to make some preserved vegetable pancakes for her neighbor, she traded two apples with a local farmer for some dried vegetables. Once home, she prepared the dough and set it aside to rise, then grabbed a bamboo basket and headed for the mountain behind her house.

The area had once been a military installation, built right up against the mountainside. The terrain was shaped like a gourd with a narrow opening. The mountains weren’t particularly high, but they stretched on and on, connecting to other ranges. The forests were dense, and fierce beasts were known to exist in the depths. At night, one could often hear wolves howling at the moon.

The early spring winds were strong, but the dense vegetation prevented much sand or dust from being kicked up. At the foot of the mountain, a few small paths had been trodden bare. Along the outer edges, several older women were gathering wild vegetables, baskets in hand.

They all nosily straightened up to glance at her. Most of them just went back to their gossiping in small groups, but one cheerful-looking older woman called out, ”Comrade! I don’t recognize you. Are you a relative visiting from out of town? You should just gather things along the dirt paths out here. Don’t go in too deep, or a wolf might snatch you!”

”That’s right, the bears are ferocious this time of year, too...” the others couldn’t resist adding.

Zhu Yun smiled and called back a cheerful, high-pitched ”I will!”, but then she tightened the cuffs of her pants and chose a spot where the grass was bent and trampled, but hadn’t yet formed a proper path.

The body’s previous owner had been an expert at foraging and could identify all sorts of wild vegetables. In no time, Zhu Yun had filled over half her basket. Knowing she was strong, she had also placed a heavy stone brick, the kind used for lining a well, and a few fist-sized rocks inside. They were for self-defense, and also on the off-chance she could use them to bag a wild rabbit or pheasant.

She deliberately picked her way through areas where no one walked and the weeds weren’t too tall. Without realizing it, she ventured further and further in until a fluttering sound reached her ears.

Zhu Yun froze. She crept forward quietly and was stunned to see a whole covey of wild pheasants!

A silent grin spread across her face. She picked up a stone, narrowed her eyes to aim, and with a slight flick of her wrist, let it fly. A few sharp THWACKS later, and she had taken out half the covey!

Along the way, she repeated the feat, bagging two wild rabbits and stuffing them into her bamboo basket as well.

Before she even reached home, her mind was already running through several meat dishes she could make.

Her stomach rumbled. Zhu Yun didn’t waste any time and hurried back cheerfully. On the way, she even pulled up a large bundle of grass to feed the rabbits she was raising.

Rolling up her sleeves, she dove into the kitchen and got to work. The domestic chickens of this era were free-range and flavorful, but they were still a class below wild pheasant.

One-third of the pheasant meat was already bubbling away in a stew with potatoes and mushrooms. She left another portion hanging down the well to keep it fresh, and the rest she rendered down into a concentrated chicken essence to enrich her meager supply of seasonings.