Watching the Mountain

Chapter 74: Chapter 67: Life, Seeking the Dao

”Your Cultivation has also broken through. Not bad, not bad at all. Truly, very good,” Qing Xuan Master praised, his face full of gratification.

In Xu Ran’s memory, Qing Xuan Master had never looked at him with such an appreciative and gratified gaze. Even when he had made immense progress sparring with Ye Shan and had first grasped the Death Realm, his master had still offered no praise.

In his mind, Qing Xuan Master had always treated him with a sternness tinged with disdain. It was as if he was constantly being told, ’You are the worst student I have ever taught.’

This was especially true because of Xu Ran’s cautious nature and smooth way of handling things. It meant that even when Qing Xuan Master smiled at him, his face still retained a hint of solemn authority.

Because of this, the image of Qing Xuan Master in Xu Ran’s memory was that of a tall, imposing, and strict teacher, always stern and rarely smiling. Even as they grew closer over time, this image remained deeply etched in Xu Ran’s heart, never fading in the slightest.

Xu Ran used to childishly wonder, ’Just what do I have to do to make my master, Qing Xuan, praise me with a gratified look and say, ”Not bad”?’

Now, he had seen it and heard it.

But he didn’t feel happy at all. Instead, a heavy feeling settled in his chest.

A mere twenty or thirty years—a drop in the ocean in the Cultivation Realm—had completely transformed this once tall, imposing, and strict master.

The authority on his face was gone, replaced by the appearance of a kind and amiable old man, frail with age, as if he had one foot in the grave.

Xu Ran would rather have seen Qing Xuan Master squinting, his voice stern and sharp, and scolding him as the chamber door opened:

”How have you made no progress at all after so many years?”

He would have preferred that to this.

What he was seeing now felt like the old saying: a man’s words turn kind when death is near.

He really didn’t like it.

”Go on in. You two, master and student, should have a good chat.” At that moment, Qing Xuan Master’s Dao Companion reached out, gently patted Xu Ran’s shoulder, and spoke softly.

Xu Ran looked up at the gentle-faced woman, composed himself slightly, and bowed. ”Thank you, ma’am.”

She returned his gesture with a smile, then silently turned and left.

After entering the chamber, Xu Ran looked at Qing Xuan Master, who was exuding an aura of decay. After a moment of silence, he began softly, ”Master, you...”

He opened his mouth, but in the end, he still didn’t know what to say.

Qing Xuan Master watched his reaction and forced a faint, strained smile. ”I have failed,” he said, his tone a little desolate. ”But this was to be expected.”

After a brief silence, Xu Ran slowly asked, ”How long ago did it happen?”

Qing Xuan Master pondered for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. ”A long time ago. About the fifth year of my seclusion, I’d say.”

”Then why didn’t you ever say anything?”

”What good would it have done?”

Xu Ran fell silent for a moment before replying in earnest, ”I would have been worried about you.”

Hearing this, Qing Xuan Master also fell silent.

Xu Ran continued, ”Is there any chance for you to try breaking through again?”

Qing Xuan Master shook his head and sighed softly. ”My Cultivation Technique is one that places the utmost importance on the mind. A flaw in one’s state of mind is even more critical than for an ordinary Cultivator. If it were someone else, there might still be a chance, but for me...”

His eyes lowered, and he didn’t finish his sentence.

Xu Ran understood his meaning, which made his heart ache even more.

He was silent for a long time before he finally couldn’t help but ask curiously, ”If that’s the case, why did you choose to...”

He also didn’t finish his sentence.

But Qing Xuan Master understood his meaning. ”You mean, why did I choose to marry and give myself a weakness?”

Xu Ran nodded slightly.

Qing Xuan Master tilted his head back slightly and replied, ”Back then, when I saw the sensible yet strong-willed nature of your disciple, Little Xiyue, a strange feeling stirred within my heart.”

He thought for a moment. ”It was like a pebble dropped into a calm lake, making me suddenly understand the meaning of life’s continuation.”

”A thought arose in my mind then: I also wanted a daughter like that, to watch her grow up healthy and happy.”

He glanced at Xu Ran and continued, ”Your Master’s wife, Qing Mei, and I were childhood sweethearts. She has always loved me, and I’ve always known it. But she has a quiet temperament, never fighting or demanding anything. She never made any requests of me, only waited for me in silence.”

”After more than seven hundred years, it was time I gave her an answer.”

”This...” Xu Ran stared at Qing Xuan Master with a complicated expression, at a loss for words.

Qing Xuan Master saw his reaction, pondered for a moment, and continued, ”It was only at the moment my daughter was born that I realized what I cared about most was my family. Before that, I never thought family would become my weakness.”

He paused for a moment after speaking, then shook his head. ”No, I should say... even if I had known beforehand that this would become my weakness, I would not have changed my principles.”

He looked at Xu Ran, his eyes bright, and chuckled softly. ”You should understand that feeling, right? To do something even when you know you shouldn’t. It’s an experience everyone has.”

”The moment that thought appeared in my mind, it took over my heart. It was something I could not change, no matter what.”

Hearing this, Xu Ran nodded slightly. He understood that feeling. Humans are such strange creatures, sometimes unable to change their own actions.

Qing Xuan Master was a Golden Core Stage Cultivator and seemed to be in control of his own heart. But in reality, for someone like him, when an idea arose on a whim, it was actually even harder to control.

Xu Ran looked at the expression on Qing Xuan Master’s face and, after a brief silence, couldn’t help but ask, ”Then, Master... do you regret it now?”

Qing Xuan Master was slightly taken aback by the question, but then a completely relaxed smile spread across his face. ”No,” he said. ”I am now extremely grateful for the choice I made. I even find myself frequently regretting why it took me so long to come to my senses. I should have given my junior sister an answer sooner.”

”Even if it caused you to fail your breakthrough?”

Qing Xuan Master nodded with absolute certainty. ”Yes.”

After speaking, he saw the confusion in Xu Ran’s eyes, smiled slightly, and said in a solemn tone:

”Xu Ran, since you are my student, allow me to teach you one final piece of understanding. There is a saying: ’To achieve Dao Hearing in the morning and die in the evening without regret.’ I can see that you are a resolute Seeker, but what I want to say is this: seeking the Dao is seeking the Dao, but life is life. Don’t let your search for the Dao overshadow your life.”

”A Seeker is first and foremost a person. You have a life first, and only then can you seek the Dao.”

After saying this, he suddenly threw his head back, laughed heartily, and pointed at Xu Ran.

”Your Comprehension is too poor; you definitely won’t be able to figure it out right away. But that’s alright. After you go back, think about it slowly, experience it slowly, and understand it slowly. When the day comes that you finally understand, you will be able to comprehend my current feelings.”

Xu Ran raised his head in a daze and stared at Qing Xuan Master’s smile. It was the kind of smile rarely seen on a Cultivator.

He was smiling so freely, looking as if he were truly happy.