Urban All-Round Master

Chapter 313: Chapter 316: Can’t Poop Because Earth Has No Gravity

Chapter 316: Blame the Lack of Gravity for Not Being Able to Poop?

”This just means your personality is too strong, girl, and that’s not always good. Why not learn from the demure ladies in those TV romances? Aren’t you afraid you’ll have a hard time finding a husband?”

”Mind your own business! Whether I find a husband or not is none of your concern. Don’t you curse me with such venomous ’spells.’ If I really can’t find a husband later, you’ll owe me big time.” Su Ni didn’t know what was happening to her either. Her typically fiery temperament had, for some reason, taken a turn today, making her surprisingly keen to strike up a conversation with Lin Zifeng—a rare occurrence under normal circumstances.

Freakin’ hell! Can’t find a husband and it’s my fault? Can’t poop and blame Earth’s lack of gravity? What kind of logic is that! Could this girl have taken a liking to me? Hmm, judging by her demeanor, it’s probable that no boys have chased after her these past years, always acting like a tomboy. It’s likely so.

But man, this chick’s got a round and perky butt and her chest is like, super bouncy. The thing that’s seriously irresistible to men is, you know, her figure—tsk tsk, really not bad. Juicy, juicy!

If Su Ni knew what he was evaluating her with in his mind, she would probably have slapped him by now.

”Out with it! How did you know the boy was still alive? Stop bullshitting me—I want the truth.” Su Ni planted her hands on her waist, her delicate hands white as jade nearly squeezing water out of her slender waist, and under the light police uniform, her figure’s curves and the distinct lines of her perfect body were indeed a treat for Lin Zifeng’s eyes. If only the top button of her police uniform were a bit lower, the view inside would undoubtedly be even more enticing and attractive.

”Cough, cough... Do you really want to hear it?”

”Stop wasting words!”

”Really?”

”Stop wasting words!”

”Sure?”

”All that blabbing—are you feeling extra cool today and think you’ve got excess saliva or what?” Su Ni truly felt like she needed to slap this guy to bring him to his senses.

”Alright! Since Officer Su wants to know, I might as well chat.”

Lin Zifeng cleared his throat with a couple of coughs and then spoke with grave seriousness, ”The reason the little boy was in a state of apparent death is because the truck that pinned him down caused insufficient blood supply to the brain due to prolonged pressure, coupled with severe lack of oxygen, leading to a temporary state of deep sleep. In such a case, there’s only one way to ascertain if he’s still alive.”

”What way?” Su Ni asked, somewhat anxious and thoroughly hooked.

”Aye aye aye, Officer Su, can you not interrupt me when I’m talking? It really kills the mood of my storytelling.”

”Keep talking, I’m listening,” Su Ni became a tad excited—after all, she had been a detective for years and this was her first time hearing about a case of suspended animation, especially since she had witnessed the boy being resuscitated right before her eyes.

”The method is to check their facial complexion, what we often refer to as ’color of the face.’ When a normal person is under prolonged oppression and maintains a healthy complexion or doesn’t show that ashy deathly pallor, they still have a chance to be saved. At least nowadays, many in the medical field refer to this death phenomenon as a case of ’false death.’ Of course, in many household situations, a lot of people who suffer accidents aren’t actually dead. Most of them are in a state of false death, and if they don’t receive timely treatment, this false death will soon turn into real death,” Lin Zifeng said as he puffed on a cigarette that the young officer had just pilfered.

”Are you saying that many people who are in accidents are actually in a state of false death and still have a chance to be revived?” Su Ni exclaimed in shock.

”Yeah, you could say that,” Zifeng nodded, smoking the cigarette he had snagged from the young cop earlier.

”Isn’t that a bit too divine?”

”It’s just the fact, not divine at all. The world is very mysterious, with many things beyond common understanding, such as the disappearance of the Great Western Continent, the Death Zone on the 30-degree north latitude line, the Lop Nur mystery, the Underwater Pyramid enigma, the ancient continent lost in the Pacific Ocean, and the Sea of Death that makes the Fusang people pale... All of these cannot be proven with science. The world is so wondrous that it consists of things you can’t even imagine—they’re only impossible until you can’t think of them. Have you ever seen someone whose bones were all shattered, then one by one put back together? Have you seen a person survive for over a decade by eating human flesh?” As he spoke, Zifeng couldn’t help but recall the horrific two years in Dark Prison.

”Are you, are you saying all this is real?” Seeing Lin Zifeng’s demeanor become more earnest and stringent, Su Ni, as fiery as she could be, was no fool. She felt that the man before her, though seemingly frivolous and dissolute on the surface, occasionally exuded a different sort of charisma. She always thought that this seemingly ordinary man had an extraordinary past. Although he always disguised his true self, Su Ni clearly felt that it was all an act, and a very good one at that.

”Believe it or not, it’s there. Just like what I said before, there are many things in this world you cannot imagine.”

”Cough, cough... So, Su Ni, we’ve arrived.”

Just as the two were deeply engaged in conversation, the young officer driving the car couldn’t help but interrupt their discussion. He hadn’t dared to make even a peep earlier, just quietly listening to their conversation. Especially when Lin Zifeng began discussing the world’s mysterious matters, the young officer was silently despising him, thinking that there were countless ways to hit on a lady, but today was the first time he’d seen someone flirt by broaching such topics. Truly, the man was a master.

”Oh, I see. Well, Xiao Li, you get out of the car first, I have some words for him,” Su Ni said after jumping out of the car, promptly dismissing the driver, Xiao Li.

”Uh, sure.” The young officer gave Lin Zifeng a meaningful look, a mix of strangeness and surprise in his eyes.

”Come on, stop holding back and hiding. It’s not your first time here; are you still shy?” Su Ni crossed her arms over her chest, her attitude both teasing and nonchalant.

However, at that moment, she felt some doubt. This guy didn’t seem like a bad person, so why did he always act so carefree and unserious?

”Uh... look, Susu, it’s not my first time here, and besides, I haven’t broken any laws this time. Can you, can you just let me go? That would save everyone some trouble, right? Your police department must have plenty of work, and surely won’t miss dealing with me,” Lin Zifeng pleaded, genuinely not wanting to go back in. The chaos last time had left him with lingering anxiety, yet it reminded him of someone he’d been wanting to recruit.

Bu Chen! The once-retired special forces super-soldier had had a bit of a scrap with Lin Zifeng in a detention center, though they later got on reasonably well. However, Lin Zifeng always felt that it was unjust for Bu Chen, who was just guilty of manslaughter, to be locked up for life. After all, who knows how many lives he, Lin Zifeng, had ended.

”Who are you talking about? Who’s your Susu? A dog’s mouth can’t spit out ivory!” Realizing that she was being taken advantage of, Su Ni was both embarrassed and angry.