Transmigrated into a Grandpa, Embracing the Laid-Back Life

”Excellent.” Lin Yu praised approvingly. ”Your master was also thinking the same. That place has been shrouded in Yin energy for a hundred years; evil entities are sure to have bred there. From the resentful spirit’s memories, I have compiled a list. Remember it and gather the items as soon as possible.”

”Please instruct me, Master.”

”First, black dog blood. The heart’s blood from a living dog is best, three jin required. Black dogs possess the ultimate Yang essence; their blood can break through Yin-based filth and evil.”

”Second, a rooster’s throat bone. You need an old rooster, over three years old, one that crows daily. Take the ’human’-shaped cartilage from its throat, dry it in the sun, and grind it into powder. Roosters herald the dawn, sensing Yang energy to crow; their bones can suppress ghosts and demons.”

”Third, aged glutinous rice. The older, the better, at least over ten years. Glutinous rice grows from the earth, nourished by Yang to mature. It can draw out corpse poison and counter stiffened evils.”

”Fourth, peach wood nails. Seven of them, each three cun and three fen long. If you can find wood struck by lightning, that would be even better. Peach wood wards off evil, and thunder is the ultimate Yang force, the bane of Yin creatures.”

Su Ming memorized each item, his expression grave.

Every single one of these things was bizarre; ordinary households would never have them prepared.

”And also...” Lin Yu’s voice paused, seeming somewhat difficult to say.

”Fifth, the urine of a virgin boy. Collect the urine from a boy born during the Yang hour, over seven years old. Seal it in a freshly fired pottery jar.”Su Ming: ”...”

His face visibly changed color, from white to red, then to purple, a spectacular display.

”Master... this one... what’s its use?” He held back for a long moment before finally asking.

Lin Yu, barely suppressing his laughter, explained with a straight face: ”A virgin boy’s body retains its primal Yang energy, untainted. His urine is the transformed essence of that primal Yang, the purest and clearest. Splashed upon an evil entity, it can defile its physical form, greatly diminishing its cultivation. It is... a life-saving item for critical moments.”

Su Ming took a deep breath, as if trying to press down all the shame filling his chest.

He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his gaze had returned to calm.

”... I understand, disciple.”

Watching Su Ming’s expression of grim determination, Lin Yu almost laughed himself into a fit inside the ring.

This kid is too much fun!

...

Over the next few days, Su Ming’s life became exceptionally busy.

During the day, he remained the quiet, studious top scorer, moving between the library and the schoolhouse.

But once school was out, he transformed into the most mysterious procurement agent in Bluestone County Town.

His first stop was the slaughterhouse in the western part of the city.

The pungent smell of blood and gore hit him. Several butchers, stripped to the waist, were dismembering a freshly slaughtered fat pig.

Su Ming pinched his nose and found the foreman, Butcher Wang.

”Uncle Wang.”

”Well, if it isn’t Top Scorer Su!” Butcher Wang, his hands greasy, grinned warmly upon seeing Su Ming. ”What wind blows a scholar like you to my dirty place?”

Su Ming cupped his hands in a polite salute, his expression unchanged. ”Uncle Wang, I wanted to ask you if there have been any black dogs recently?”

”Black dogs?” Butcher Wang was taken aback, then grew wary. ”What does the top scorer want a black dog for? Their meat is sour and tough, not good to eat. And they have fierce temperaments, only good for guarding property.”

Su Ming retrieved a small string of copper coins from his sleeve and subtly handed it over.

He spoke calmly: ”Some days ago, I read a medical miscellany in the library. It recorded an ancient formula, saying that taking black dog heart’s blood, combined with several medicinal herbs, to steep medicinal wine, can invigorate blood circulation, unblock meridians, and strengthen bones and sinews. My father, in his youth hunting in the mountains, suffered some old injuries. On rainy, overcast days, the pain becomes unbearable. I was thinking of trying this remedy.”

This explanation was perfectly reasonable, both clarifying his motive and conveying a sense of filial piety.

Butcher Wang weighed the copper coins in his hand, his wariness turning to understanding.

”So it’s to treat the old master’s injuries! That’s wonderful!” He patted his chest. ”Leave it to me! Zhang the Pockmarked’s family in the east of the city happens to have a pure black wolfhound, fierce as anything. It even bit someone a couple of days ago. I’ll go get it for you right now! I guarantee you’ll get the freshest heart’s blood!”

”I appreciate your trouble, Uncle Wang.”

Having settled the most difficult item, the black dog blood, Su Ming went to the rice market.

He didn’t go to the big rice shops. Instead, he specifically sought out secluded alleys, looking for farming households with their own stored grain.

”Auntie, I’d like to exchange for some glutinous rice,” Su Ming said to an old woman sunning grain in her yard.

”Exchange for glutinous rice? Young man, what I have here is this year’s new rice, fragrant!”

”No,” Su Ming shook his head, pointing at a rice vat in the corner covered in thick dust. ”I want that kind of old rice, the older the better.”

The old woman looked at him as if he were an idiot.

Su Ming had no choice but to fabricate another story. He said he read in a book that aged glutinous rice ground into powder could be used to starch clothes, better than soapberries, making laundered garments crisp and clean.

In the end, he exchanged three jin of new rice for a small half-vat of aged glutinous rice that had been stored for who knows how many years, almost turned to stone.

As for the rooster’s throat bone, he managed it at a market specializing in poultry. He paid a high price for a spirited old rooster with a blood-red comb, borrowed the vendor’s knife, extracted the bone on the spot, and amidst the astonished gazes of the vendor and onlookers, strode away with that small piece of bone tucked away.

The peach wood nails were the most troublesome.

He visited every carpenter’s shop in the city, but they only had ordinary peach wood.

Finally, Xu Qing helped him.

”Wood struck by lightning?” Xu Qing frowned after hearing Su Ming’s request. ”That’s not easy to find. Ordinary wood struck by lightning would have long been burnt to charcoal. Only old wood with extremely strong Yang energy and hard texture can survive the thunderfire.”

He pondered for a moment, then his eyes suddenly lit up.

”I think I know where there is some.”

He took Su Ming to a dilapidated Taoist temple in the southern outskirts of the county town.

The temple had long been abandoned, the courtyard overgrown with weeds. Beside the ruins of the main hall, a huge locust tree lay fallen, half its trunk black as ink, precisely the mark of being struck by thunderfire.

”This was struck during a thunderstorm night two summers ago,” Xu Qing pointed at the tree. ”The commotion was huge at the time; half the county town heard it. After that, the rumors about this temple being haunted grew even more intense, and no one dared come anymore.”

Looking at the half-charred trunk, Su Ming felt a surge of joy.

Although it wasn’t peach wood, the locust tree belongs to Yin, yet it survived a heavenly thunder strike without being destroyed. The Yang-rigid energy contained within its heartwood was probably superior to ordinary peach wood!

The two of them exerted tremendous effort to obtain several pieces of wood from the iron-hard, charred trunk.

Back at the small courtyard, Su Ming carefully carved the wood into seven nails, each three cun and three fen long, each carrying a faint burnt smell and strange grain patterns.

Thus, only the last item on the list remained.

And the one that gave Su Ming the biggest headache.

Virgin boy’s urine.

He, a fourteen-year-old top scorer, couldn’t very well produce it himself...

Nor could he bring himself to ask the seven or eight-year-old children in the schoolhouse.

This matter remained deadlocked for two days.

One afternoon, as Su Ming was reading in his courtyard, the sound of a child’s crying and fussing came from the neighboring yard.

It was the child of that taciturn scholar’s family, just five years old this year, with a round, sturdy head.

He heard the scholar roar impatiently: ”Stop crying! So what if you wet the bed! It’s no big deal!”

Su Ming’s eyes suddenly lit up.

He put down his book, walked to the wall, cleared his throat, and called out towards the neighbor: ”Brother Li, are you there?”

A short while later, the scholar named Li Mo opened his courtyard gate, a trace of confusion on his face. ”Top Scorer Su, is something the matter?”

Su Ming wore a warm smile on his face and held a small packet of pastries in his hand.

”Nothing important. I heard your son crying and came to check. Children are lively and active; wetting the bed is common. I have some newly bought pastries here for the child to try.”

Li Mo was somewhat flattered and overwhelmed. He had a solitary personality and few friends in the County School. Su Ming was the first to actively show goodwill.

He hurriedly invited Su Ming inside.

Half an hour later, Su Ming walked out of the small courtyard, thoroughly satisfied.

In his hand, he now held a small pottery jar tightly wrapped in oil paper.

Inside the jar was a full container of... golden yellow, slightly warm liquid.

The Li family was tearfully grateful, facing the half packet of pastries and the small silver ingot Su Ming had left on the table. They simply thought this young top scorer was a kind-hearted eccentric who liked collecting strange things for his ”studies.”

Returning to his own small courtyard, Su Ming carefully placed the pottery jar on the ground.

He looked at this pile of ”treasures” before him: a bucket of black dog blood emitting a fishy smell, a packet of aged glutinous rice, seven charred wooden nails, a small bag of rooster throat bone powder, and that jar of indescribably pungent virgin boy’s urine.

The entire courtyard was permeated with an indescribably strange odor.

Su Ming let out a long sigh.

An unprecedented sense of absurdity, along with the tension and excitement of embarking on an unknown journey, surged in his heart simultaneously.

”Master, everything is prepared.”

”Very good.” Lin Yu’s voice carried a satisfied smile. ”Pack everything up properly. Once a heavy snow falls, we will set out.”

He looked at Su Ming’s young yet resolute face, his own heart swelling with heroic spirit.

To hell with the Way of Survival!

I’m done pretending, I’m laying my cards on the table!

Starting today, I am a tomb raiding captain... no, a Treasure-Seeking True Master!

”Are you ready, disciple?” Lin Yu’s voice became deep and powerful. ”Our first lesson is about to begin.”