Transmigrated as an Unwanted Ugly Girl

Chapter 40: Chapter 26: Liu’er’s Struggle

Sun Liu’er waited for her mother to leave before stopping her needlework. She began to stare out the window in a daze. Her heart was filled with a pain that surged up in waves, impossible to suppress.

The clear sound of reading aloud drifted from the distant schoolhouse, making Liu’er’s heart ache even more. ’Qingmu is actually going to school! He’ll have a good future. Will he even remember me then?’

’No, I can’t give up. I have to try one more time.’ She didn’t know where the confidence came from, but she felt that as long as Qingmu was willing to marry her, he would surely find a way to deal with her mother and make her wish come true.

’How can I make Qingmu completely devoted to me, to cherish me the way he cherishes that ugly sister of his?’

Liu’er, her face filled with sorrow, gazed at the osmanthus tree in the courtyard, its flowers already withered. The clusters of gold had shriveled to crimson, drooping limply among the dark green leaves, as miserable as her own heart.

”Is Liu’er home? Liu’er!” a crisp voice called from outside the gate.

Liu’er craned her neck to look. It was Meizi!

Dressed in a set of half-worn blue floral clothes with a long braid trailing down her back, she hopped over the high threshold and bounded inside.

Meizi’s face was all smiles, her lips pursed to reveal small dimples on her cheeks as she grinned at Liu’er. ”Miss Sun Liu’er, cooped up in your room all day, never setting foot outside. You’re even quieter than one of those high-born ladies! No wonder people say you’re destined to be a Young Madam!”

Liu’er pulled over a stool and set it in front of herself. After Meizi sat down, she sighed and said, ”What Young Madam! I was born a farmer’s daughter, and that’s all I’ll ever be. If I try to act like one of those high-born ladies, I’ll just look like a poor imitation!”

She glanced at the ornaments and makeup boxes on her dressing table, finding them an eyesore. ’Will using these things turn me into a lady? I don’t even know how to use them. If I smear my face with reds and greens and stick glittering things in my hair like an actress, won’t people just laugh at me when I go out?’

Seeing her looking so glum and unhappy, Meizi said with a sweet coyness, ”But your mother wants to raise you to be a high-born lady. You might not have a choice in the matter!”

At the mention of her mother, Liu’er’s eyes reddened again, and that feeling of despair and anxiety surged back into her heart. Looking at Meizi’s carefree expression, she thought, ’Why are other girls’ mothers so different from mine? Meizi’s mother doesn’t want her to marry into a rich family. I’ve never even heard her demand a huge betrothal gift.’

Thinking of her own misery, and since she and Meizi were close, Liu’er didn’t feel like hiding her feelings. She lowered her head and began to sob quietly.

Meizi jumped in fright, her eyes wide as saucers. ”Sister Liu’er,” she asked frantically, ”what... what’s wrong?”

Liu’er looked up at Meizi and cried, ”Meizi, my heart is so bitter! Do you know how bitter I feel?”

Meizi stood up and went to Liu’er’s side, squatting down and placing a hand on her leg. She tilted her small face up and asked, ”Sister Liu’er, is something troubling you? Can you tell me?”

Liu’er wept. ”I don’t want to marry into a rich family! I don’t want to be a concubine! I like Qingmu! I like him so, so much!”

Meizi was stunned!

She frantically looked around like a thief, even running to the main gate to peer outside before returning to whisper to Liu’er, ”Sister, quiet down! It’ll be a disaster if someone hears you!”

Liu’er sobbed, ”If I have to marry into a rich family as a concubine, I’d rather die! What do I have to be afraid of?”

Meizi asked softly, a little shyly, ”Does Qingmu know that you... you like him? Have you told him?”

At the mention of this, Liu’er’s sobs, which had just subsided, started up again. ”He... he said he can’t help me. It must be because my mother is demanding too much for the betrothal gift, so he’s not willing to step forward.”

She remembered that day when she had finally found a chance to stop him. But after just two sentences, he had abandoned her and left. He wasn’t like that with his ugly sister! A sharp pain shot through Liu’er’s heart at the thought.

They say people in love are fools, and it’s absolutely true. It never occurred to her that Juhua was Qingmu’s sister. It was only natural for a brother to take care of his sister. How could that be compared to her situation?

Meizi was worried, too. Liu’er’s mother demanding a betrothal gift was a problem with no easy solution. Where was Qingmu supposed to get that much silver?

Unable to think of a way to help Liu’er, she could only let out a heavy sigh and squat on the floor, watching her cry.

After crying for a while, Liu’er stopped on her own. She wiped her tears with a handkerchief and said to Meizi, ”If I don’t fight for this, I’ll never be able to accept it! I’m going to find him, and we’ll figure something out together!”

A vague idea formed in her mind. She almost hoped people would discover her together with Qingmu. That way, to protect her reputation, her mother would have no choice but to marry her to him. For the sake of her future, she was ready to cast aside all shame.

Meizi’s heart instantly started to POUND, and her face flushed red, as if she were the one about to have a secret rendezvous. Her voice trembled as she asked, ”Sister Liu’er, are you really going to find Brother Qingmu? Where are you going to find him?”

Liu’er replied, ”I’ll wait for him at the edge of the village, on his way home. School should be letting out soon! Meizi, you have to help me. I’ll go to your house first, and then I’ll go to the edge of the village to wait for him!”

The poor girl had completely forgotten that her mother had gone to the Zheng family’s house. By waiting for Qingmu at the edge of the village, there was a very high chance she’d be caught by her mother on her way back.

Normally, she wouldn’t be so unlucky. But when bad luck wants to strike, it does so in the most coincidental of ways.

Meizi stammered, ”Sister Liu’er, you... you’re not... thinking of... eloping with him, are you?”

Her world was still simple, free from such difficult problems for the time being, so she couldn’t understand Liu’er’s desperation and defiance. That defiance filled her with fear. ’People who elope get caught and drowned in pig cages!’

Liu’er said faintly, ”Even if I wanted to elope with him, he wouldn’t do it. His heart is full of his parents and his sister.”

Meizi let out a breath of relief and patted her chest. ”You scared me to death! Sister Liu’er, do you have to do this? Can’t you just have a proper talk with your mother? Just the two of you, in private. Wouldn’t that be safer?”

A fresh layer of mist quickly clouded Liu’er’s eyes. ’See? Other people’s mothers are different! Other people’s mothers listen to their daughters’ troubles! Only my mother is obsessed with marrying me off to a rich family, completely unwilling to listen to what I have to say. With a mother like that, what hope do I have?’

Beneath the large tree at the edge of the village, Sun Liu’er appeared before Qingmu once again, her expression unusually determined. She blocked his path and asked softly, ”If I threw away all caution and insisted on marrying you, would you protect me the way you protect Juhua?”

Qingmu was worried about his father’s leg injury—he had just arranged for Qin Feng to come help change the dressing. Being suddenly stopped by Liu’er here again, he was quite annoyed, but he just couldn’t bring himself to say the four words, ”I don’t like you.” That would be too hurtful to a girl’s heart.

He could only frown at this outwardly demure but inwardly stubborn girl. ’What on earth does she want?’

’Even if she threw caution to the wind to marry me, he probably couldn’t marry her. He truly didn’t want to get married right now, and he had never liked her! Was he supposed to just tell her that?’

Thinking of Qin Feng, who would be arriving shortly, Qingmu spoke calmly to Liu’er. ”I don’t want to get married right now. You know my father’s leg is injured, and my family is in a difficult situation. I’m also in school, so I really don’t have the mind for other things. Liu’er, you should hurry home. If someone sees you, it will affect your reputation.”

Qingmu rarely spoke at such length. He didn’t know how to persuade this stubborn girl to leave, but he couldn’t just get angry. He was somewhat grateful that she wasn’t put off by his family’s poverty. However, Liu’er’s mother’s way of doing things made him instinctively keep his distance from Liu’er.

Liu’er’s lips trembled as she took a step forward, her question directed right at Qingmu’s face. ”You’ve never liked me! Even when I shamelessly throw myself at you like this, you still don’t like me, do you?”

Large tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her porcelain-white cheeks, falling onto the dry earth of early winter. They were instantly absorbed by the yellowish-brown soil without making a sound.

Qingmu truly didn’t know how to answer.

He had always been a man of few words and rarely interacted with girls. His only sister was the way she was, her life even more isolated than his. Asking him to console Liu’er, who was lost in despair and love, was truly asking too much of him.

Even though he had no intention of hurting her, he could only stand there, tongue-tied.

Her heart shattered, Liu’er grabbed his sleeve and cried, ”Do you think I’m shameless, trying to seduce you time and again?”

”Qingmu, you haven’t left yet...”

”Liu’er, what are you doing?”

Two voices called out at the same time, one from the village and one from outside it. The one from the village was Qin Feng, on his way to the Zheng family’s house to help Zheng Changhe with his dressing. The one from outside the village was Liu’er’s mother, just returning from Qingmu’s home!

Qin Feng was fine; though surprised to see the two of them, he didn’t say much. But Liu’er’s mother, who had just returned with a belly full of anger from her encounter with Zheng Changhe and his wife, now saw her own daughter tangled up with Qingmu—this was clearly no ordinary greeting. In an instant, a nameless rage WHOOSHED up inside her!

”Zheng Qingmu, you little bastard with the nerve of a lion, how dare you seduce my daughter! No one in your Zheng Family is any good! A mangy girl dreaming of marrying a good man, and you, a toad lusting after a swan! Pah! Why don’t you take a piss and look at your own reflection! You’re so poor you don’t even have a decent set of clothes, yet you’re still daydreaming! Zheng Changhe, you bastard! You raised a fine son to ruin my daughter! You can go die a horrible death!”

She had been truly infuriated at the Zheng residence. Seeing the daughter she had painstakingly raised to marry into a rich family and enjoy a life of comfort mixed up with Zheng Qingmu, she felt a pain in her heart, liver, and lungs all at once. She cursed Qingmu first, but when that wasn’t enough, she turned toward the Zheng family’s house and began to stomp her feet and clap her hands as she cursed Zheng Changhe.