The Sorcerer's Handbook

Chapter 321: Ugh! I’m Such an Idiot!

”Hey, how’s the air back there? The front rows have it pretty clear. After all, I’m the only one in the first three. But that’s fine. If students got too enthusiastic about history, I’d start worrying about the future of the Starry Kingdom. Still, if you don’t put even a little effort into the past, you might want to start worrying about your grades.

”Turn to page 173. In the year 871, Court Chancellor Bledo Usgail drafted the Nobility Act and became the first of the new nobility to receive the Empress’s Blessing of the Stars. The contents of the Act are as follows...”

The history professor wasn’t a rigid, old-fashioned scholar. On the contrary, he carried himself like a witty, stylish gentleman. But even his personal flair couldn’t save the lecture from its inherent dullness. Unless he threw in a few scandalous duke jokes or minister anecdotes, the atmosphere drifted between a drowsy haze and muddled lethargy.

For Sonya, the only benefit of attending was the chance to sort through the tangled threads of her mind. She had developed this habit after entering the university. Her schedule was packed, and she invested every spare second into self-improvement.

More importantly, Cailleach wasn’t a place she could call home. If she stayed alone in an empty room, the weight of boredom would crush her, dragging her into self-pity and pointless melancholy. After secretly crying under her covers once, the village girl had forced herself to stay within sight of others as much as possible. She refused to retreat into a corner like a defeated dog to lick her wounds.

Tears that couldn’t earn sympathy or affection held no value.

That left these dull public lectures as the only place where she could safely zone out and reflect. Since she could pass with a bit of cramming before finals, she used the time to weigh her gains and losses.

A large lecture hall made it easy. One sweep of her gaze was all it took to identify her objectives, including who had offended her, who harbored intentions toward her, whom she should please, and whom she should target...

Recently, Sonya had added a new pastime. During class, she would browse the school forums to see if any fragile noble students were discussing her. If she found any, she would execute them on the spot, then observe the real-time reactions of those around her. She had already caught several classmates who acted meek in person, greeting her as the top student, only to attack her online as a country bumpkin.

When she was in a good mood, Sonya would pat their shoulder after class and casually mention their forum username, dealing instant mental damage. When she was in a bad mood, she would secretly investigate their backgrounds and pose as a Prophecy Class sorcerer on the forum. She would expose their secrets with uncanny accuracy, declaring things like, ”You’ll definitely get cheated on,” ”Your family is in decline,” or ”That skincare routine will ruin your face.”

No matter the method, it was incredibly entertaining. After Adele learned of the game, she eagerly joined as a ”classroom enforcer.” Anyone who dared to mock the Swordswoman on the forum instead of listening to the lecture would face their ”righteous” intervention.

So, when Adele saw Sonya suddenly open her notebook and start writing with her expression shifting between tension, smiles, and irritation, she assumed Sonya had hooked a big fish.

Who’s lucky enough to be today’s stress-relief toy for the Claw-Stretching Club President?

With that thought, Adele leaned over, hoping to glimpse the ”dirt” Sonya was recording. But the absent-minded Sonya reacted like a protective mother wolf guarding her kill. She snapped the notebook shut in an instant.

Is she hiding the prey for herself? Adele wondered.

She turned her gaze away and pretended to study the Nobility Act, while secretly keeping her attention fixed on the notebook.

She had managed to catch one line.

”Come on! Let’s get back together, repeat our mistakes, and keep tormenting each other.”

The scumbag aura in those words flowed as freely as the fountain at the school gate. Adele felt certain Sonya had grabbed hold of some jerk’s weakness and planned to toy with her prey. She wasn’t entirely wrong.

After finally digesting the embarrassment of her amnesia, Sonya had realized something critical. Given the Watcher’s personality, he would definitely cling to this. He would remember every word she’d said while her memory was gone, only to bring them up during a fight. Then, once Sonya was distracted and in danger, he would step in to ”save” her...

Just imagining the scenario filled the village girl with shame and anger. To avoid such a predicament, she needed leverage. Only then could she establish a policy of Amnesia Deterrence, ensuring neither side would dare bring up what happened during that time.

Thus, Sonya had spent over half an hour recording every single sentence the Watcher had uttered while she was amnesiac. She carefully sorted them into categories, like The Ten Most Affectionate Lines, Five Classic Cheating Quotes, and The One Shameless Statement Worth Ten Thousand Lines.

Watcher, do you really have enough ammunition for this?

Sonya could already picture the scene. Just as the Watcher prepared to mock her, she would cough lightly and respond at an unhurried pace. To put it directly, with no room for ambiguity, right now, I li—

Bang!

The history professor adjusted his glasses. Sonya, her face flushed red, pointed calmly at the cracked wood of her desk. ”There was a mosquito.”

The old professor let out a long breath. ”You scared me. I thought my lecture was so awful that a student had finally smashed the furniture in anger.”

After class, Sonya put away her notebook with satisfaction. Just as they prepared to leave, she suddenly remembered something and turned to Louisa and Adele. ”Oh, right. I died again in the Virtual World. I accidentally got trapped in the Static Zone and died. Sigh, I’m so stupid.”

Watching Sonya lightly tap her own head in a cutesy manner, her roommates began to wonder if they had misheard ”I died in the Virtual World” as ”I’m in love.” Otherwise, it was impossible to explain her bright, animated expression.

They understood what Sonya was doing. If word got out, it would mean that their great top student, the Scarlet Swordswoman, had actually died twice in the Virtual World within a single month.

Such a revelation would have provided the Anti-Swordswoman Alliance with the perfect target, but that was exactly what Sonya wanted. Lately, the forum’s atmosphere had all but crushed that so-called alliance. Anyone who dared to mock Sonya was immediately swarmed and flamed into silence. If this trend continued, the noble students who disliked her might give up entirely. After all, even they only had so much ancestral pride to lose before the forum fires burned their family trees to the ground.”

However, Sonya’s debut album was about to be released, and she needed eyes on her now. A group like the Anti-Swordswoman Alliance was essentially free publicity, so she had to keep them engaged with the occasional bit of bait. She could already foresee it. Once the album dropped, the scandal would spark endless arguments, and sales would skyrocket.

Sonya wasn’t worried about her reputation. After all, once people learned she had died twice in the Virtual World in a month, they would also realize she had advanced from a sorcerer apprentice to a Two-Winged sorcerer in that same span of time.

This was the core publicity strategy of the Claw-Stretching Club, a name the supporters had unanimously approved after seeing Adele’s photos. A genius didn’t need to promote her strengths. She only needed to highlight her flaws. Let the flaws draw the attention, and let people discover her brilliance on their own.

Adele watched Sonya skip out of the classroom and sighed. ”Before class, she looked completely out of it. After class, she’s like she just ate a strawberry sundae, all sweet and creamy and happy. Women are so hard to understand.”

Louisa hesitated. ”She looks... Could she really be in love?”

Adele muttered, ”Well, even so, the only people she interacts with are us. And I’ve stood naked in front of her before. She didn’t show the slightest reaction. That proves she doesn’t have any particular interest in women.”

”So there’s only one conclusion.”

Louisa looked at Adele, while Adele’s gaze dropped to Louisa’s chest. Adele said seriously, ”I’ve suspected this for a while. Louisa... you’re actually a man, aren’t you?”

Louisa said nothing. She simply stared back with a perfectly calm expression. Only then did Adele realize her joke had gone too far. Mimicking Sonya, she tapped her own head. ”Hey, I was just kidding.”

”Adele...”

”I’m the powerful manager of the Claw-Stretching Club now! If you have something to say, say it nicely. Don’t bully me.”

”Even if I were a man,” Louisa said, her gaze as cold as a winter wind, ”I wouldn’t choose you as a lover.”

Adele blinked, her eyes turning moist. Her heart sank, plunging into a bottomless depth. ”And I had even thought that if I were a man, I’d marry you... Don’t talk to me anymore!”

Adele turned and ran off in tears. Louisa remained expressionless. ”The next Water Sorcery class has a quiz.”

Adele halted mid-step.

Louisa strode past her. Adele followed behind, looking aggrieved, her eyes fixed on Louisa’s hips as if silently cursing them to shrink.

At that moment, Louisa suddenly stopped, and Adele walked straight into her back.

”What is it?”

It wasn’t just Louisa. Other students had stopped in the corridor as well. They were all staring out the window with confused expressions.

Adele raised her head.

The shadow of the stars reflected in her pupils.