The Sorcerer's Handbook

Chapter 285: You Won’t Even Call Me Daddy

”Lys, stop moving! Keep that up and we’re all going to crash!”

On the outbound highway of Azura, the Funeral Agency found itself engaged in what could, at best, be described as a wholesome nighttime cycling activity.

Yes. They were riding bicycles.

After leaving the city’s core district and reaching the outer edge of the two-tiered metropolis, Annan had everyone disembark from the hovering car and release it. The vehicle drifted away on its own, gliding off in the opposite direction.

Don’t get caught by evil humans again, Ashe thought as he watched it disappear into the distance.

No explanation was needed. Even he understood the reasoning. Keeping the car would only expose their exact position. Worse, it might explode midway through the journey.

The Book of Gospel’s confidentiality rules prevented others from directly locking onto their location, but vehicles could still be tracked. And since all autonomous transport systems relied on the Gospel’s data analysis, they were far from safe. In the hands of the Good Moonlight Agency, an organization notorious for hijacking others’ vehicles like obsessive thieves, it would only be a matter of time before the car betrayed them.

Switching transport was inevitable. But this was the 17th century. Across both the Gospel Kingdom and the Blood Moon Kingdom, automation had already taken hold. When they tried to flee Azura, the only truly safe option left was... bicycles.

There were single-rider bikes, tandem models, and even three-person designs. Above the bicycle shed, projection screens displayed cheerful scenes of beastmen and elves enjoying family outings, making it painfully clear these bikes were meant for leisure, not desperate escapes.

Ashe thought, Come to think of it, was that beastman–elf couple some kind of officially endorsed model family in the Gospel Kingdom?

The situation had turned absurd. Here they were, fleeing from the combined might of the Red Hats and the agencies on nothing but bicycles. To make matters worse, Annan was still in his pajamas, and Ashe was left pedaling in slippers.

Fortunately, the outer roads were nearly empty at night. Otherwise, anyone who saw them would likely assume some bizarre, dysfunctional family was making a run for it.

Ashe carried Lys. There were smaller bicycles suited for children, but they were too slow, and she did not know how to ride anyway. So she sat on the back seat of his bike.

Unfortunately, she treated the whole thing like an outing, fidgeting constantly. After a sharp scolding, she finally settled down.

Ashe let out a quiet breath of relief. The cool night wind brushed against him as he tried to make sense of their situation. There was no doubt about it. The reason their quiet, routine life had suddenly turned into a desperate escape... was him.

He had done nothing. Yet the Book of Gospel had already marked his existence as a violation of public morality.

Even now, Ashe could not understand why his name had appeared on the Art Ranking, let alone why he had been classified as a ”work of art.” The only relief he could find was that the creator was Annan rather than Harvey.

The Book of Gospel had crowned him with the top position, as if it had become his obsessive admirer. But the sentiment was warped. Beneath that surface lay something far closer to hostility than love.

It had not written a single word explaining his supposed crimes. Yet the nine ”works” ranked before him all hinted at disasters across the Gospel Kingdom. With his portrait suddenly placed above them, anyone with a bit of imagination would never see him as innocent. He was either a savior or the source of all evil. There was no third possibility.

The imperial command structure had clearly chosen the latter. To be honest, even Ashe could not entirely deny the logic. He had never believed he possessed the temperament of someone destined to save the world.

Still, becoming a world-class villain felt just as unlikely. At most, it felt as though his résumé had been contaminated, tainted by the likes of Annan and Everlasting Doom.

That name still lingered in his memory. The supposed colleague who could not even manage basic hygiene after using the toilet, yet had somehow bestowed upon him the new profession of Everlasting Wanderer. The designation still sat in his records. Ashe strongly suspected that his sudden rise on the Art Ranking came from that very profession, triggering some catastrophic ”minus-fifty luck check” at the worst possible moment, leading the Book of Gospel to brand him as a disaster.

It was like a company suffering massive losses. The furious boss randomly picked someone to fire just to vent, and that unfortunate soul happened to be him.

Annan was hardly innocent either. By her own admission, she had been deliberately exaggerating their profiles to disrupt the Gospel’s future weaving. The Book probably should not have believed such embellishments...

But what if it did? Now, this was the result of that ”what if.”

For all he knew, Annan might have described him as something like a gifted sorcerer with an unyielding spirit, a passionate man dreaming of mutual understanding and world peace. If that were the case, then being misunderstood by the Gospel almost felt earned.

But none of that mattered right now. Ashe had a far more immediate concern. Would Annan hand me over to keep the others safe?

On the surface, she had fled without hesitation. But in truth, she had no real need to run. If she chose to cooperate with the Good Moonlight Agency in developing Iger and the others, she would gain their full support.

She had a way out. Ashe did not.

The imperial command had already accepted the Gospel’s judgment. They truly believed that a worthless, zero-star nobody like him could bring disaster to the entire land. If the Red Hats captured him, death would be inevitable. Even the Gospel Kingdom’s so-called respect for human rights would mean nothing.

The option to simply detain him did not exist. They were too afraid that if they kept him in a cell, his resentment would eventually ripen into the very disaster the Gospel had predicted. They would not give him the time to learn to hate them.

As for exile? That was equally unthinkable. If they cast him out, he would only end up resenting the world and taking revenge on society anyway. Now that the authorities were certain Ashe’s future held only ruin, every path leading toward that future was viewed as nourishment for catastrophe. To the Empire, the only way to ”save” him was to ensure he had no future at all.

If it were anyone else, Ashe might have agreed without hesitation. It was the classic logic: sacrifice one for the happiness of thousands. The problem, of course, was that the one being sacrificed was himself. He had no intention of sitting still and waiting for capture. He had to prepare for the worst.

Click.

The sound of a safety disengaging cut through the air, followed by something cold and hard pressing into his lower back.

”Are kids really this rebellious these days?” Ashe muttered.

It didn’t take long for him to realize the reason for the sudden escalation. Another hovering car was rushing past them from behind, putting immense psychological pressure on the fleeing group. They were pedaling along the forest-lined path at the very edge of the highway, beneath the glow of the Gospel Kingdom’s absurdly advanced infrastructure. Even at night, lights stood every few paces, illuminating the road as brightly as a cemetery at noon.

Despite the panic, Annan and the others didn’t flinch. Once the vehicle roared past, Pankey explained, ”That’s just a logistics freight vehicle. Fully automated and unmanned. We haven’t been discovered yet.”

Iger asked, ”But what about the surveillance cameras? If our movements were recorded...”

Annan’s primary reason for fleeing the city instead of waging a guerrilla campaign in Azura was the overwhelming presence of urban surveillance. Rather than hunting targets manually, both the Red Hats and the agencies preferred to let the Book of Gospel query surveillance records.

A camera did not enjoy the same confidentiality protections as a living citizen. Once their movements were captured on camera, any interested party could simply spend a few Gospel points to retrieve their last known location. It was a terrifyingly efficient system while also being perfectly legal and fully compliant with the letter of the law.

Annan explained, ”That vehicle is heading to the secondary city, Omido. Even with the power of the Book of Gospel, residents of Azura cannot bypass the administrative barriers to access another city’s surveillance data. It will take the authorities until at least the day after tomorrow to navigate the bureaucracy and trace us there. By then, we will already be in another city entirely.”

Annan eventually turned her bicycle off the main road and steered it into a narrow side path. The others followed her closely until they arrived at a small hill, which was more accurately described as a low slope since it was actually shorter than the roadside cedar trees. Annan signaled for everyone to dismount. Once they were on foot, she and Pankey began searching the area.

With nothing else to do, Ashe glanced at the handgun in Lys’s hand and asked where she had obtained it.

”I bought it from the Curtain,” Lys replied with a casual shrug. ”It’s the Children’s Fun Firearm Pack. Besides ten boxes of standard ammo, it came with a box of kitten bullets, a box of puppy bullets, and even a super-rare Lala Fat bullet pack. Only one in ten packs contains that specific set.”

Ashe looked at the weapon and asked if those special bullets actually did anything functional.

Lys explained with a smile, ”They look cute and go biubiubiu. If they actually hit someone, that person will probably feel happy too, right?”

”It’s already impressive enough that a child can buy firearms from the Curtain and have them delivered to their door. In that regard, they are actually more open than the Blood Moon Kingdom,” Ashe muttered while he gently pressed the barrel downward. ”Keep the muzzle off people. Your safety isn’t even on... I will hold onto it for now.”

Lys hugged the gun tightly, looking like a small beast guarding its food, and shook her head firmly. ”No! I need this gun to protect myself.”

”I will protect you. Don’t you remember our contract—”

Ashe’s outstretched hand was slapped away before he could finish. ”But Daddy, you aren’t being sincere.”

Ashe blinked as the fragile tacit understanding they had built over the past few days shattered in an instant. The white-haired girl lowered her head to stare at her toes, her voice dropping to a whisper. ”You actually dislike me, don’t you? I was the one who insisted on dragging you into this contract. After all, who would actually want a daughter who only brings trouble?”

She tightened her grip on the handgun and continued, ”If nothing dangerous had happened, we could have kept playing the father-daughter game. But the game is over.”

Harvey and Iger glanced at them briefly before turning away to keep watch, leaving the two in their own private bubble of tension. Ashe looked at the girl, who now resembled a prickly little hedgehog, and realized he felt no real shock. As Lys had said, their relationship had always been a façade. Initially, she had only wanted the father-daughter identity to deceive Annan, but the days had been so peaceful that Ashe had begun instinctively responding to the title Daddy.

Now that the illusion of peace had vanished, it was time to return to a world of life and death. That said, he couldn’t simply leave it at that. Ashe crouched down in front of Lys to bring his gaze level with hers. ”When you go to Aunt Perskin to get your hair done, remember to be polite. The trick is to tie your own hair into an ugly little braid first. He won’t be able to stand the sight of it, so he will eventually give in and fix it for you.”

”Mmhmm.”

”Pankey is the best to play games with. Harvey comes second, but don’t enter his room when you go looking for him.”

”Mmhmm.”

”And when you look for the young lady...”

Lys couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed his sleeve, tugging at the fabric with a desperate, awkward strength. ”Are you... Are you really not going to care about me anymore?”

Ashe raised an eyebrow. ”Didn’t you say the game was over? That makes us strangers. At most, I’ll only save you when you’re in danger because the contract demands it.”

”I didn’t mean it was over forever,” Lys muttered.

”Then what do you mean? You’ll call me ’Daddy’ when you need me and ignore me when you don’t? We’re family when it’s peaceful, but just teammates when it’s dangerous?”

Lys squirmed, her bottom lip pouting out. ”Is that... not allowed?”

Ashe countered, ”You were the one who claimed I hate you, so why should I cooperate? You don’t listen to me, so why should I listen to you?”

Tears welled in the girl’s eyes. She pulled out a small mirror and lowered her head in a heavy silence. After a long moment, she reluctantly held out the handgun. Ashe tugged at it, but her grip was still tight; he had to use actual force to pull the weapon free.

While inspecting the weapon, he asked, ”Have you ever trained with firearms?”

Lys remained silent, her nose sniffling rhythmically as she refused to look up. It was only when Ashe asked a second time that she shouted, ”No!”

”Mm. Do you want to learn?”

Lys looked at him in confusion. ”Huh? You’re going to teach me?”

”I don’t know how to use it either. I can’t teach you.”

Lys gave him a look that clearly asked if he was messing with her. Ashe simply shrugged. ”But we can learn from Pankey. Once things settle down, we’ll ask him to teach us together. I wonder if he has any gun techniques To Play with Kids Later...”

Lys suddenly remembered the cabinet in Pankey’s place, filled with games he had categorized under To Play with Kids Later. She couldn’t help but let out a small, startled laugh. ”Pankey might just turn gun training into a game for us.”

Ashe ejected the rounds from the chamber, checked the safety, and, to Lys’s utter shock, handed the gun back to her. ”Don’t use this unless it is absolutely necessary. Even if you don’t trust me, you should trust the contract. Anyone who wants to hurt you will have to step over my corpse first.”

”You’re... you’re not taking it away?”

Ashe patted her head. ”You said I wasn’t being sincere, but you’re the one who has never truly trusted anyone. You only trust yourself.”

He sighed softly. ”How pitiful. You’re just like Iger and Harvey.”

Lys froze, then shook her head forcefully. ”I’m not pitiful!”

Ashe said with a smile, ”If you refuse to trust adults, then keep the weapon that can protect you. You’re smart, Lys. I trust you know when to use it. But you’re too smart for your own good sometimes. That’s why you end up overthinking things.”

”What did I get wrong?”

”You said no one would want a daughter who only causes trouble. That part is true.”

As Lys’s mood sank again, Ashe flicked her forehead. ”But no child only ever brings trouble to adults.”

For a moment, his thoughts drifted back to his older brother. He remembered him constantly complaining about the chaos his children caused, even begging Ashe to discipline them. The nephew ran wild under the grandparents’ protection, untouchable like a crab walking sideways. His brother’s belt had gathered dust for years.

Yet during late-night meals, that same brother would proudly show off his son’s competition achievements and family trip photos, unable to hide his joy. On Father’s Day, the child once gave him a gift, and he looked as if he had pulled a rare SSR in a gacha game.

Ashe had long ago become a cynical, ruthless wage slave, but the memory of that expression still brought a flicker of warmth to his chest.

”What do you mean by that?” Lys asked, rubbing her forehead in confusion.

”It means you won’t even call me Daddy anymore,” Ashe said, standing up with a grin.

The title that had once been a mere tool now felt strangely heavy, making Lys flush with embarrassment. She didn’t say the word, but she didn’t let go of his sleeve, either.

Suddenly, Pankey’s voice rang out with a note of pure relief. ”We found it!”

A hidden doorway groaned open in the hillside, revealing a staircase descending into the earth. They hurried their bicycles inside, their footsteps echoing against the walls as the corridor lights flickered on one by one, like a delayed knock awakening a sleeping host.

At the bottom of the stairs, a fully equipped underground suite opened up before them. Annan let out a long, exhausted breath and collapsed onto a modular sofa, rolling lazily across the cushions before sitting up.

”Finally,” she sighed. ”Welcome to my grandfather’s tomb.”