The Return Of The God Level Assassin

Chapter 1359: THAT LOVE IS YOURS

LUO YAN felt his heart tighten at Shen Ji Yun’s answer. A quiet ache settled in his chest. He had expected this answer, in a way. But hearing Shen Ji Yun say it out loud still stung. The idea of continuously keeping the truth from his family, the people who had shown him constant love from the start, felt disingenuous. But he also understood why Shen Ji Yun would say that. He looked down at their hands, still clasped together, and let out a slow breath.

“D-do you think they won’t be able to accept the truth?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer. “Do you think they would hate me?”

Shen Ji Yun almost cursed under his breath. The sadness and hurt in Luo Yan’s voice hit him hard. It took everything in him not to punch himself for how carelessly he had answered. He should have been more careful. Of course Luo Yan would end up questioning himself after that. He squeezed Luo Yan’s hands, trying to find the right words.

“No, Yan Yan. This isn’t about whether they can accept it, and it’s definitely not because they’d hate you.”

He paused, searching for the right words. He didn’t mean to sound like he was dismissing what Luo Yan was feeling, but he also wanted him to understand why he thought this was the best choice.

“I met you as you are now. I never knew the person who used to be in this body. So for me, there’s no conflict. But your family is different. They spent years waiting for him. They held onto hope while also grieving, not knowing which one to hold onto. And then you woke up. Just by that, you gave them a reason to stop waiting. You gave them a way to move forward.”

He squeezed Luo Yan’s hands.

“If you told them the truth, they would have to go back to that place. They would have to grieve all over again. And this time, they’d know the person they were waiting for was never coming back. It would undo the peace they’ve finally found. They spent years living in that state of uncertainty, and you gave them a reason to finally move past it. Telling them now would just bring all of that back.”

He paused, his voice softening.

“I know it might sound selfish. And I know it’s unfair to the person who originally had this body. But if he was still here, if he could see how much his family has healed, how they’ve found happiness again—I think he would want that for them. I think he would want them to keep that happiness. Even if it meant they never knew the full truth.”

Luo Yan looked down. He understood what Shen Ji Yun was trying to say. He really did. And he wanted to believe that keeping this to himself would be the right choice. But there was a small voice at the back of his mind that kept asking him the same question. If he never told them the full truth, could he ever really trust that their love was meant for him and not just for the person they thought he was?

A bitter smile crossed his lips. How selfish of him. Here he was, worrying about whether the love he received was meant for him, when he should be thinking about the real Luo Yan. That child deserved to be mourned properly by his family. But to do that, he would have to tell them the truth. And just like Shen Ji Yun had said, that might not be the best thing to do.

Still…

He bit his lower lip. “If I don’t tell them the truth, I feel like every moment I spend with them from now on won’t be real. Like I’ll always be a fraud.”

Shen Ji Yun reached out and gently lifted Luo Yan’s chin, tilting his face up. The look in Luo Yan’s eyes made his chest ache. It hurt to see him like this. To see the doubt and struggle he was carrying.

“You are not a fraud. You may not be the Luo Yan they were connected to by blood, but that doesn’t mean the love they’ve given you all this time was fake. At first, yes, their feelings were shaped by the fact that they believed you were him. But your family are not fools. If they didn’t fall in love with you, they would have long suspected you as a fake. But that didn’t happen. And that’s not because of who they thought you were, but because of who they came to know. Someone kind. Someone thoughtful. Someone who brightens up the room whenever he’s around. They fell in love with that person.” He gently cupped Luo Yan’s cheeks. “That love is yours, Yan Yan.”

Luo Yan felt like he had a pebble lodged in his throat. He tried to swallow, but he couldn’t. His eyes were stinging again, even though he thought he had no tears left. What Shen Ji Yun said had hit him hard. The dark cloud that had been slowly eating away at his heart had pulled back. It hadn’t vanished completely, but he knew that from now on, whenever doubt started to creep in, Shen Ji Yun’s words would be there to push it away.

That love is yours…

Someone else might think Shen Ji Yun had only said all of that to make him feel better. But Luo Yan knew better. He could hear the sincerity in Shen Ji Yun’s voice, the way he spoke without hesitation. That was what finally got through to him. He could tell that Shen Ji Yun meant every word he said.

Probably because deep down, he also knew that the other had a point. Telling his family the truth would do none of them good. He could only imagine how much heartbreak it would cause.

His father, who had spent seven years refusing to let go, would have to face the fact that the son he had been fighting for had already been gone all along. Luo Ren, who had carried the weight of the family on his young shoulders, would have to revisit all those years of quiet grief. And Luo Jin, who had been just a child when the accident happened, would have to confront a loss he had never fully processed.

They had all healed in their own way. Telling them the truth would only reopen wounds that had finally closed. Would they still have the same happiness they have now after that? Maybe they would. Maybe they wouldn’t. But Luo Yan wasn’t willing to take the risk to find out, not when it meant putting his family’s happiness on the line just to ease his own guilt. People might call him a coward for that, but he didn’t care.

He closed his eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Xiao Yan. I’m sorry I can’t tell them you’ve already passed. I’m sorry I can’t let them mourn you the way they should. I’m so sorry. So very sorry. But I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ll take care of Dad, Brother, and Ah Jin. I’ll make sure they’re happy and healthy for the rest of their lives. I’ll be there for them, always. Please rest assured. I won’t let you down.’

I know not everyone will be happy with this decision, but I decided on this a long time ago. So, if you were expecting the opposite, I’m sorry to disappoint you. (ó﹏ò｡)