The Overlord of Puluo

When Li Banfeng said he wanted a promissory note, Chubby Qin, Yu Nan, and the cloth shop clerk all froze and thought, What on earth is he talking about?

Li Banfeng, however, looked completely serious. He wanted a promissory note, and not just a casual one. He demanded every detail to be written down. He said, ”Since you promised to pay me back in your next life, you have to write down what your name is in your next life, your house address, occupation, Daoist Path, and levels of cultivation. You must write down everything clearly.”

”Th-this… how can I possibly explain that?” Chubby Qin asked in confusion.

”If you cannot explain it clearly, then how will you ever pay me back?” Li Banfeng asked as he stared at Chubby Qin with a serious expression.

This very simple question explained a very simple logic, which was that no matter how touching those promises about the next life sounded, they were all complete bullshit.

Yu Nan gave Chubby Qin a quick glance. ”Trader Qin, Master Qi doesn’t want you to commit suicide.”

Chubby Qin’s eyes grew red as he looked at Li Banfeng. Li Banfeng is a good man, but where can I possibly find two hundred thousand? Even if I sell everything I own, I cannot even raise one hundred thousand.

Li Banfeng turned to the clerk. ”Brother, please go and ask Mister Yao to come again. Tell him I can give the two hundred thousand. Ask him to prepare and come quickly.”

The clerk agreed and immediately left.

Chubby Qin asked in astonishment, ”Brother Li, where did you get so much money?”

Li Banfeng kept his face blank and said, ”Is that something you should be asking?”

Tears welled in Chubby Qin’s eyes. ”Big Bro Qi, how can I ever repay this favor? From now on, whatever you tell me to do, I will do it without fail.”

Li Banfeng pulled a chair over, sat down, and said, ”You must first tell me how you ended up this way.”

Chubby Qin cast a glance at Yu Nan and remained silent. There were some things that he felt reluctant to reveal in front of outsiders.

Understanding what the glance meant, Yu Nan stepped out of Chubby Qin’s room. She returned to the main room and started tidying her own living space.

Only Li Banfeng and Chubby Qin remained in the room. The moment Yu Nan stepped out, Chubby Qin could no longer hold back his tears. He began to sob.

”Big Bro Qi, I am a useless man with no real skill but full of foolish ideas,” he said. ”When you sold the Speckled-Snake Pill to Shopkeeper Feng, I even said you did not know how to do business. I said such things should be sold to the rich and noble people. I was a fool with a bird brain! I should have looked in the mirror and see that I am worth nothing. Why would the rich and powerful ever care about someone like me?”

While crying, Chubby Qin began to recount the chain of events. He had always believed he was destined for greatness. Whenever he met someone of wealth or status, he tried every possible way to cling to them.

In truth, he rarely crossed paths with anyone of real importance. Once, he had gotten to know a Young Master Jia named Jia Quansheng, who boasted of his prestigious background. Yet in terms of actual wealth, he was just moderately rich in Medicine King Gully.

Young Master Jia kept a circle of idle companions who spent their days eating and drinking together. One day, they happened to run into Chubby Qin and pressured him into treating them. Chubby Qin took it as an opportunity and readily agreed.

Young Master Jia was a Literary Cultivator, though he had never advanced to any real level. Each day, he had to read a book just to maintain the bare minimum of Literary Cultivation.

At the banquet table, Young Master Jia complained about the hardships of Literary Cultivation and someone next to him then suggested that he take pills instead. They told him that if he took a Speckled-Snake Pill, he could go an entire day without reading.

Young Master Jia asked further about the pill. Since Chubby Qin had been eager to sell his pills, he took one out and offered it for him to try. Young Master Jia had taken a Speckled-Snake Pill before, so he knew its effects. The moment he received it, his face lit with joy and he immediately called Chubby Qin his brother. Chubby Qin felt as if new doors had opened for him, and he slipped into the illusion that he had attached himself to someone of higher standing.

Two days later, Young Master Jia sent someone to bring Chubby Qin over and asked for two more pills. Since the pills were so valuable, Chubby Qin felt it was impossible to give them away again. He asked for eight thousand per pill, a price already far below the market rate.

Initially, he thought that Young Master Jia would appreciate that he was selling at a price lower than market price, but the moment he mentioned a price, it offended Young Master Jia.

Young Master Jia then sent some men to teach Chubby Qin a lesson, but Qin refused to take the loss. He fought back, beat them all up, and drove them away.

This only made Young Master Jia angrier, so he told his elder cousin everything that had happened.

Geng Zhiwei, the eldest young master of the Geng Family Medicinal Trading House, heard the news and immediately sent men to Chubby Qin, saying he wanted to buy ten Speckled-Snake Pills at two hundred per pill.

Offering a price of two hundred per pill was basically meant to humiliate Chubby Qin. Obviously, Chubby Qin couldn’t swallow this insult and started fighting with Geng Zhiwei’s men.

This time, however, he was overpowered and captured. They seized his pills, and dragged him before Geng Zhiwei and Jia Quansheng. There, they ordered him to kneel and kowtow to admit his mistake.

Chubby Qin refused to kowtow. Fighting as if his very life were at stake, he drove a punch into Geng Zhiwei, sending blood streaming from his nose and mouth.

In his fury, Geng Zhiwei purchased a talisman from the Jiangxiang Gang and placed a curse on Chubby Qin, pinning him in a kneeling posture in Tail Alley until he died of hunger.

After hearing the full story, Li Banfeng carefully looked for a chance to step out of the residence. Once he was outside, he went into the Pocket Dwelling and took out three hundred thousand in cash, which he divided into two bundles.

Old Mister Yao had asked for two hundred thousand, so Li Banfeng prepared an additional hundred thousand just in case.

Not long after, the clerk came back with Mister Yao, and Yu Nan went to the door to greet him in person.

Old Mister Yao arrived surprisingly fast. Barely half an hour had passed since the clerk left, which suggested that he lived close by.

Li Banfeng had assumed Mister Yao was a famous physician from Hundred Fragrances Village. A famous physician ought to have the look of one. In his mind, such a man would be an elder carrying a medicine chest, wearing thick spectacles, and radiating the air of an immortal Daoist.

However, when he actually saw Mister Yao, Li Banfeng realized his expectations had been a little off. There were no spectacles, nor a medicine chest. He was an elder, yes, but whether he radiated the bearing of an immortal Daoist was…open to interpretation.

Before the old man even stepped inside, Li Banfeng caught the sharp stench of liquor. The smell carried a trace of smoke, faintly like the barbecue shop that he knew so well.

Li Banfeng thought, Did this old mister eat barbecue before coming here?

With a drunken sway, Mister Yao stumbled into the room while holding a liquor gourd. He took a huge gulp, blew his nose, smeared it across the wall as if it were nothing, and then pressed his hand against Chubby Qin’s forehead.

”This child has a bit of a fever. Could it be a cold?” Mister Yao asked.

Chubby Qin felt speechless.

Li Banfeng looked at Mister Yao. His clothes were worn and frayed and his hat was full of holes. His cheeks flushed red, yet his bulbous nose was even redder.

Li Banfeng asked, ”Old man, are you sure you are at the right place?”

Mister Yao let out a drunken hiccup and sprayed liquor fumes into Li Banfeng’s face before saying, ”Who said I came to the wrong place? You were the ones who called me.”

Li Banfeng sniffed the heavy stench of liquor and asked, ”You must have drunk at least a jin, right?”

Mister Yao shook his head and raised three fingers. ”Five and a half jin. There’s still half a jin left in the gourd. I’m telling you, there’s no mistake.”

Fearing that Li Banfeng might be worried, Yu Nan whispered softly, ”Master Qi, rest assured. Mister Yao is someone with real skills.”

Li Banfeng nodded. ”I think Mister Yao is quite good.”

Mister Yao walked up to Chubby Qin and asked, ”What’s your name?”

Chubby Qin frowned. ”Didn’t we already meet at noon? My surname is Qin.”

Mister Yao scratched his head and thought for a long while before saying, ”Qin, was it? Did we meet? …Well, let’s just say we did.”

With that, the old man blew his nose again. Finding nowhere to wipe it, he simply smeared it on his trousers.

Those trousers look as if moss has grown on them. Wait… I don’t think that’s moss… Li Banfeng thought.

The old man pressed his fingers to Chubby Qin’s wrist. After some time, he asked calmly, ”Miss Qin, how many months pregnant are you?”

Chubby Qin stared at him and answered, ”I’m a Gourmandism Cultivator, and I’m a man!”

Mister Yao let out another tipsy hiccup and frowned. ”Who says all Gourmandism Cultivators are men? I once knew a woman who could eat half a cow in one sitting!”

Chubby Qin shook his head. ”We’re not talking about the same thing. I’m not pregnant, I was hit by a spell! You already examined me this afternoon, didn’t you?”

”Did I? Then I should take another look! If you’re not pregnant, how do you explain that big belly of yours?”

”This isn’t a belly…”

The blanket draped over Chubby Qin’s lower body, covering the bend of his legs. From the outside, the cloth jutted outward at his middle, giving the impression of a rounded stomach.

The old man lifted the blanket and fumbled around Chubby Qin’s legs. Then he asked, ”What’s the matter with your arm here?”

”These are my legs!” Even though he had put up with this at noon, Chubby Qin couldn’t stop himself from losing his temper when Mister Yao appeared.

For a long time, Mister Yao continued to feel along Chubby Qin’s legs. His expression, careless before, shifted into one of concentration.

”I’ve seen you before. It was at noon.”

Chubby Qin’s eyes lit up. ”You remember!”

The old man said solemnly, ”If this continues another day, you’ll lose the ability to bear children.”

”I’m a man!” Chubby Qin shouted in fury.

Mister Yao responded, ”Men don’t need to reproduce? You’re on the verge of becoming crippled.”

Chubby Qin fell into silence. At last, he grasped the gravity of the situation.

The old man went on, ”If this is not cured by tonight, he will be left without seed. By this time tomorrow he will not be able to walk. If he isn’t cured within the next three more days, you should buy him a coffin and prepare for his funeral.”

Chubby Qin’s gaze fell on Li Banfeng. At this point, he was the only hope left.

Li Banfeng nodded and said to Mister Yao, ”Please, save his life.”

After a gulp of liquor, Old Yao wiped his lips with the back of his hand. ”The price we set this afternoon is two hundred thousand. Not a single coin less.”

With a firm motion, Li Banfeng took out a sack and poured out twenty neat piles of Huan yuan. ”Two hundred thousand. Not one coin short. Every bit’s here!”

”Straightforward indeed!” Mister Yao praised. He lifted the sack and went directly to the door.

Everyone stood frozen. Li Banfeng shouted, ”Hold on! You haven’t even begun treating the illness!”

Mister Yao laid the sack aside, strolled over to Li Banfeng, and gave him a guileless smile. ”Oops. I almost forgot about that. Lie down first.”

At his words, Li Banfeng lay down.

Old Yao asked, ”Which of your legs can’t move?”

”Which leg was it again?” Li Banfeng thought carefully.

”It’s my leg!” Chubby Qin shouted angrily.

Mister Yao walked up to Yu Nan with a grin. ”Miss, give me a cigarette!”

Yu Nan hurried to hand him a cigarette and struck a match to light it.

Gulp! Gulp! Mister Yao lifted the gourd and drank the gourd empty in a few gulps. He then strode over to Chubby Qin, inhaled deeply on the cigarette, and with a sudden hiccup spewed a burst of fire.

”Ahhh!” Chubby Qin screamed as fire engulfed him, racing across his robes until his whole body was ablaze.

Li Banfeng was somewhat astonished. ”Elder, is this how you’re going to cure him?”

Mister Yao stared blankly at the burning Chubby Qin and said in bewilderment, ”What’s wrong with him? Is he sick? I only hiccupped. Why is he on fire?”