The Overlord of Puluo

At five in the morning, Nectarine finally reached her limit. She crouched on the ground, vomiting nonstop. ”No, I have to go down the mountain...”

She struggled as she tried to get up and staggered as she made her way out of the grove. Ever since Li Banfeng had left, she had wanted to leave too, but each time she saw the others still picking flowers, she couldn’t bring herself to go.

The toxic fog was slowly eating away at her, and her efficiency had dropped drastically. In the past eight hours, she had managed to gather only three speckled-snake chrysanthemums as she would spend most of her time resting.

She knew she was dizzy. At this moment, her vision blurred, and even walking was a struggle. Yet seeing the others continue to gather flowers filled her with a gnawing, bitter discomfort.

This was human nature. Whenever people saw others making a profit, they felt as if they were losing out. It was like having a pool of gold right before her, and all she needed to do was grit her teeth and scoop up more.

She had endured until now, but she truly couldn’t go on any longer. As she walked down the mountain path, she vaguely heard footsteps behind her.

Nectarine was startled. She clutched the pouch at her waist and snapped her head around, but the sudden motion was so fierce that her vision swam and she collapsed to the ground.

Someone really was chasing after her. It was Leafy.

Leafy rushed over and helped Nectarine up. She reached into her robes, took out a small porcelain vial, and handed it to her. ”Big Sis, I have some Cooling Powder here. Take a little, it’ll help. If you don’t trust me, I’ll eat some first...”

Nectarine smiled, accepted the vial, and swallowed a dose. After resting for a moment, she really did feel much better.

”I’ve been eating your medicated candies and powders all day. I truly feel that I owe you,” Nectarine said as she opened her cloth pouch and took out five speckled-snake chrysanthemums. ”Please take these. It isn’t much, but I don’t have many to spare.”

Leafy shook her head. ”I’ve picked more than you, Big Sis. I already have sixty-one stalks. I don’t need yours. Big Sis, let’s go down together. I’ll need your help along the way.”

Nectarine pinched Leafy’s cheek with a bright smile. ”Let’s go together then.”

The two of them started walking down the mountain, but less than an hour later a figure stepped out to block their path.

Leafy was startled and immediately ducked behind Nectarine.

Nectarine, who had long experience roaming the jianghu, remained composed. She first scanned the mountain road, then called out to the man blocking their way ahead. ”Big Bro, are you looking for speckled-snake chrysanthemums? I can point you to a good spot with plenty of fine flowers.”

From within the dense fog, the man let out a laugh. ”I think the perfect spot is right in front of me. I see two very fine flowers.”

The voice sounded faintly familiar.

Nectarine laughed in response. ”Big Bro, your words are really sweet. If you say I’m a flower, I’ll shamelessly accept it. But this girl is still so young. She is at most a flower bud. Would you really stoop so low as to lay a hand on her?”

As Nectarine spoke, she reached out to Leafy, signaling her to pass over the Cooling Powder. After taking a dose, she felt a little better, but she knew there was no way around this obstacle.

The man stepped forward two paces, and his shiny bald head gleamed in the dim night light. It was that bald man again!

”I won’t bother wasting words on you two,” the bald man said as he wiped his cleaver. ”Hand over the flowers, and I’ll let you both live.”

While he was talking, three lackeys emerged from behind him.

Leafy was terrified, clutching the cloth pouch at her waist with both hands.

Nectarine gently patted her, signaling her to stay calm. At the same time, she wondered if the girl had brought any poison. A medicine cultivator might not be skilled in combat, but they should at least know how to use medicine.

One might wonder why Nectarine didn’t simply do as the bald man said and leave the speckled-snake chrysanthemums behind to save her life. But having ventured through the jianghu, she knew exactly what kind of people they were dealing with.

They were just two women here in the remote mountain area.

Even if they did hand over the flowers, there was no guarantee they would live. And even if they were to die, it would not be an easy death.

Nectarine let out a soft laugh, gave the bald man a playful wink, and said sweetly, ”Brother, listen to yourself. As a man, can you really harden your heart to bully two weak women like us?”

The bald man chuckled. ”I suppose I can’t quite bring myself to. How about this? Why don’t you two try pleasing me together? Whoever manages to satisfy me, I will reward her with a flower.”

”Brother, how could one be enough? If I put in more effort, why not reward me with more?” Nectarine twisted her body. Every curve radiated allure. Her voice was especially seductive, slipping into the ear like a honey-soaked feather gliding along the spine.

The bald man’s heartbeat quickened, and so did the heartbeats of his three lackeys.

”You bitch! So you were the Hedonism Cultivator earlier! You’re the one who made a move today!” the bald man spat. ”Trying to play tricks on your daddy? This papa will make you taste real pain today!”

All four of them charged at once, and Nectarine drew two short blades from her waist.

...

In the small grove, Old Smoke Cannon packed the last of his tobacco into his pipe, lit it, and drew in two heavy breaths. ”Alright, guys, I’ve gathered enough. Until we meet again.”

He had collected a total of ninety-one speckled-snake chrysanthemums, making him the one who collected the most.

However, his body could no longer hold out. He had used tobacco resin to protect his throat and filter out much of the toxic fog. Even so, his age caught up with him. After nearly twenty hours on Mount Bitterfog, he had reached his limit.

Just as Old Smoke Cannon was about to leave, Tiger Lamb stepped forward to block his path. ”Old man, don’t be in such a hurry. Dawn hasn’t come yet. Stay a while longer.”

Sensing something was off, Old Smoke Cannon fixed him with a hard stare. ”Why? Are you planning to rob me?”

Tiger Lamb grinned. ”No need to make it sound so harsh, old man. We’re teammates, aren’t we? We should look out for each other. If you carry that many flowers down the mountain, something bad is bound to happen. Why not let us keep them safe for you? We’ll return them once we’re off the mountain.”

”Give them to you for safekeeping?” Old Smoke Cannon laughed. ”I appreciate the thought, but we were just strangers who crossed paths by chance. Our fate ends here.”

Tiger Lamb stepped in to block his path. ”Old man, leave the bag. I really do mean this for your own good.”

The old man gave a cold laugh. ”Brat, I’ve known for some time that you and that one with glasses are up to no good.”

”When that bald man came earlier, the two of you only shouted from the sidelines without lifting a hand, like a pair of crosstalk comedians[1] putting on an act. When the fight was nearly over, you rushed in pretending to be heroes. You are working with the bald man, aren’t you?”

Old Smoke Cannon said this loud enough for Chubby Qin to hear.

At this moment, Chubby Qin was standing at the same spot with a dumbfounded expression. He had no idea why Tiger Lamb and Old Smoke Cannon were arguing. But after hearing Old Smoke Cannon’s explanation, he began to understand a little.

Old Smoke Cannon went on, ”On the way up the mountain, that bald man tried to rob us once. When we reached the flower field, he tried to rob us again. You pretended to play the good guy, but in truth you were using him to test our strength.

”If we were weak, you would have let the bald man rob us once. You knew that once we lost the flowers, we would risk everything to make up the loss. Then by nightfall, you would swoop in and clean us out. If we proved strong, you would have the bald man hold back and then pick us off one by one when we scattered at night.

”Chubby boy, that one called Bai Sha who came with you probably died on the way down. Those two girls are likely dead as well. If we don’t act now, we’ll end up dying at the hands of these two brats.”

Hearing this, Chubby Qin quickly tucked away his bag and hefted his axe.

The man with the golden-rimmed glasses adjusted his frames, smiling at the two of them. ”Don’t be rash. Listen to my advice.

”Old Smoke Cannon, you have sharp eyes, but it’s a pity you’re too greedy. With your cultivation, if you had left earlier, we wouldn’t have been able to stop you. But you endured until now. I bet you can hardly stand, can you?

”It’s clear you’re a man who has roamed the jianghu, but this must be your first time on Mount Bitterfog. Do you really think that resin can filter out all the toxic fog here? If that were true, Mount Bitterfog would have long been the territory of Smoking Cultivators.”

Old Smoke Cannon chuckled. ”The resin can’t block it all, but it can filter most of it. That’s still far better than the way you’ve been stubbornly holding out. If you don’t believe me, try it for yourselves.”

The man in the golden-rimmed glasses sighed, took out a handkerchief, and wiped his lenses. ”I shouldn’t waste my breath on fools like you. It’s far too tiring.”

Tiger Lamb drew his dagger and shouted, ”Finish him off and be done with it. If he wants to die, who can stop him?”

Old Smoke Cannon turned his gaze toward Chubby Qin.

Chubby Qin was still hesitating, trying to decide the right moment to act, when Tiger Lamb suddenly lunged forward and kicked him square in the face.

As a Gourmandism Cultivator, Chubby Qin possessed extraordinary physical abilities when he was well-fed. He could run, fight, endure blows, and even resist poisons to some extent.

However, when it came to each ability on its own, he was never the best. In fighting, for instance, he was clearly inferior to Tiger Lamb, who was a Martial Cultivator.

The kick landed squarely on Chubby Qin’s face, catching him completely off guard. Tiger Lamb followed up with a thrust at his stomach, but Chubby Qin managed to dodge, though only barely. Even so, Tiger Lamb’s fist smashed into his chin. Chubby Qin staggered and toppled to the ground, and another brutal kick to the face knocked him unconscious.

Tiger Lamb was about to finish him off when a cloud of yellow smoke swept in from behind. He hurriedly dodged, only for a spray of sparks to flash across his face.

Both Tiger Lamb and the man with the golden-rimmed glasses had only been bluffing when they claimed to be first-level cultivators. Old Smoke Cannon, however, truly was one.

The man with the golden-rimmed glasses couldn’t handle Old Smoke Cannon alone, and Old Smoke Cannon wasn’t about to give Tiger Lamb another chance to stab Chubby Qin.

He actually admired the fat kid. During the clash with the bald man, Chubby Qin had been the only one to truly fight. Once he dealt with the man in glasses and Tiger Lamb, there was still the chance of running into the bald man on the way down. Therefore, it would be useful to keep this fatty as an ally.

Upon realizing it was impossible to kill Chubby Qin quickly, Tiger Lamb rushed to join forces with the man in glasses. Old Smoke Cannon fought them with smoke and fire from his pipe. At first, he held the upper hand and thought he could finish them both within the time it took to smoke one pouch. But even when he was done smoking the pouch of tobacco, he still hadn’t won.

At this point, the situation had turned dire for Old Smoke Cannon. Without smoke, a smoking cultivator’s strength would drop by an entire tier.

The old man fought as he retreated. The man in glasses brandished his folding fan and pressed his attacks even more fiercely.

Something was off. The man with the golden-rimmed glasses had been on the mountain all day as well, yet he showed no signs of poisoning.

Old Smoke Cannon was flanked front and back, with nowhere left to retreat. At last, he exhaled the final breath of smoke he had been holding in, sending it at the man in glasses like a blade.

The man in glasses flicked his fan, scattering the smoke. However, dispersing it did nothing. The smoke was poisonous, and Old Smoke Cannon had released a deadly toxin from his false tooth along with it.

Tiger Lamb clamped a hand over his nose and mouth, stumbling back again and again as tears streamed from his eyes and snot poured from his nose.

The man in glasses coughed twice but remained mostly unaffected. Old Smoke Cannon froze. Why hasn’t this poisonous smoke taken him down? Is he a Poison Cultivator? Shit!

Even after Old Smoke Cannon had used up his last puff of smoke, he still had not found a chance to escape. Just then, he caught a strange fragrance carried on the wind from the flicking fan.

Oh no! There is poison on that fan! Old Smoke Cannon’s vision blurred as he realized he had been poisoned!

1. The raw uses the term 相声 (xiàngsheng) and 一捧一逗 (yī pěng yī dòu). Xiangsheng is a traditional Chinese comic dialogue performance, often called crosstalk, where two performers rely on quick banter, wordplay, and jokes. This dynamic, called 一捧一逗 (yī pěng yī dòu), is essentially one performer playing the straight-faced role while the other delivers the punchlines and antics. Together, they create the rhythm and humor that define xiangsheng. ☜