The Innkeeper

Chapter 999 Oh lawd

”By the grace of the Heavenly tree, what splendor do we behold now?” muttered Haboob as he looked out at the glowing outlines of the Magikarpets. Though they were out a distance in the lake, the drama-cats still spotted them.

”It is the transcendence of the mundane to the sublime. It is the evolution of life! It is… it is… it is a fish growing into a bigger fish!”

All the drama-cats were mesmerized by the visage, and Lex had a strong feeling that they thought they were looking at food. After all, the drool dripping down their chin was unmistakable.

”You know, I have never met your kind before,” said Lex. ”Why donʼt you tell me a bit about yourselves.”

Lex was thoroughly enjoying hosting the drama-cats, but he was well aware that he was in a time crunch. There was no resin within the territory of the Inn, but there was some nearby that he had marked out. He planned on getting to it.

But first, he was going to address the strange feeling he was getting from being targeted. But he was waiting for the right time. Just as his instincts had warned him of this unknown danger, it also told him that it was not yet time to face it.

”My gracious host, thy benevolence is too great. Coddle me not with thy considerate attention, lest I am forever unable to depart these hallowed lands,” Haboob said as he fell to his knees. Truly a reaction worthy of a drama-cat.

”No my brother, thy have gone astray. The chronicle of our people must be spread, not hidden,” said Jacob. ”The sacrifice of the ancestors must be remembered and honored, their glory spread across the lands.”

Feeling reinvigorated by Jacobs words, Haboob immediately returned to his feet, and began his tale.

”At the dawn of time itself, the drama-cats did not exist,” Haboob said slowly, as if revealing a major secret. Lex, on the other hand, was more intrigued to learn that his universal translator automatically translated the actual name of their race to drama-cats for him. Now no one could take the name away.

Though, it was at this point he realized something else as well that he had missed since he got his new realm. He did not seem to need the universal translator. It was as if he could glean the meaning the other wanted to say, even if he did not understand the words. It was as if… on some level, Lex was communicating from soul to soul.

”But verily, it was the absence of the drama-cats that spurned the universe into existence, that got time to flow, that turned reality into… well, reality. Every action, every coincidence, every single fluctuation in destiny all worked together to bring forth the birth of the noble drama-cats.

”Others will deny this truth. But to the nonbelievers I say, prove that everything in existence has not happened specifically so that we may come into being, and they have no answers. It is not their fault, they cannot see the logic behind it, so blinded by their egos they remain.”

”Makes sense,” Lex nodded without so much as a hint of a smile on his face. It was as if he really believed.

”Then the first of us appeared, born from the womb of this realm itself, and the land saw prosperity. The Heavenly tree bloomed to celebrate our arrival, and grew so that from every corner, all drama-cats would see this monument in their honor. The name of the first ever drama-cat was recorded in history, and is known to every creature in existence. The name is Bob.

”Verily, the nonbelievers claim they do not know the name Bob, but I say unto them, do thou not know the name Bob? They claim I know it. And hence their beliefs are once again disproved.”

”Makes sense. I also know the name Bob,” said Lex, which prompted the remaining drama-cats to speak as well.

”So do I…”

”I know Bob…”

”My name is Bob Jr. XXVII…”

”But having the favor of the universe does not mean we have the favor of all beings, for after the birth of Bob, came… the enemy. The enemy had many forms. Sometimes it fell from the sky, as wetness. Other times, it came from our bodies, as hunger. But the worst of all were the times it came as beasts of prey.”

The other drama-cats mimicked Haboob.

”Preying beasts…”

”Beasts who pray in the morning…”

”Beasts of prey…”

”Beasts who pray for prey to pay…”

”After a war that cracked the land itself, splintering it into three, the drama-cats were driven from the lands, and forced to live below ground. There, we have built homes for ourselves. Amidst the dirt we lived, and from underground rivers we drank. In the darkness, we slept, and on rare occasions, came up to hunt in the light. Till the end of time, we existed as such. But then, time decided not to end, and your voice called out from the heavens. A time era is before us, when the drama-cats return to ground once again.

”Thus have we endured an eternity of torture and survived. We need only send back word, and many of our kind will flock to the Inn. Of course, we have to work to pay, for loans are a sin, but the drama-cats are known for many things, and fear of work is not among them.”

”Quite a splendid tale,” Lex said, sensing that this story may actually continue till the end of time. ”But from what I hear, it seems like you donʼt want to live underground anymore. Does that mean I should get rid of the underground city I built for you all?”

The drama-cats trembled and froze in disbelief. A city… for them?

Unable to contain itself, one of the unnamed drama-cats fell to its knees and raised its arms up to the heavens.

”Oh lawd! Why are we thy favorite, lawd? Why do thy bless us so?”

The other cats began to mimic him.

”Oh lawd…”