The Forsaken Hero

I awoke to a cool draft caressing my face. My eyes were heavy, fluttering as I struggled to open them. The room was dim, lit only by the starlight falling through the windows, which, for their part, had been cracked open an inch. I shivered. I never slept with the window open, not even in Haven.

As I shifted, starting to sit up, I felt pressure on my stomach, a weight pressing through the blanket. Blinking, barely eyed, and yawning, I glanced down, and a small smile tugged at my lips. Luke had fallen asleep at the side of my bed, and his head rested on my side, his arm draped over me like a belt. I sat up, careful not to wake him, letting his head rest in my lap.

To my surprise, he didn’t stir. His breathing didn’t even change.

”Some warrior you are,” I whispered, brushing my fingers through his hair. ”You’re supposed to be hyper alert and vigilant all the time. Ernyst would be disappointed.”

At the thought of the old swordsmaster, I giggled, clapping my hand to my mouth as Luke shifted slightly. His tail somehow found my leg, curling up my calf. I lowered my hand, letting out a sigh of relief, when his breathing evened out again.

I couldn’t help but smile as my fingers traced the smooth ridges of one of his horns, careful not to press too hard against the sensitive base. He looked so peaceful like this, his features relaxed in sleep. So...cute. A part of me wished he would wake up so I could see his smile, or the glowing violet of his eyes, but another part wanted to treasure this moment. I gently poked his cheek, suppressing another giggle as my finger followed the thin scar that ran across his face. He was so soft and unguarded. I didn’t even know that was possible.

”You’re always so determined to be the strongest,” I mumbled, my smile fading. ”I wish you didn’t have to be. I’d rather you just be you.”

I leaned down and kissed his forehead, just a light brush of the lips, and went back to stroking his hair, occasionally running my hand over a horn.

After a minute, his tail gave a slow swish, brushing against mine. My breath hitched as his eyes slid open, finding mine. They were clear and bright, no sign of the haze that always clung to me whenever I woke up.

”Y-You’re awake!” I squeaked, blushing as he raised an eyebrow.

”Sorry, you seemed happy to be watching me.”

”No, I-I wasn’t!” I sputtered. ”I just...how long...?”

His lip curved in a lazy smile. ”I wonder.”

My fingers curled in his hair as my lips pursed, forming a small pout. ”Just tell me.”

He chuckled, rising from my lap. ”Let’s just say I don’t think Ernyst would be too disappointed in me.”

My tail went rigid. When did I mention him again? it couldn’t be--

”Come on, little star,” he said, taking me by the hand and raising me to my feet. His strength startled me, lifting me from the bed with a bounce. My stomach rose into my chest as I found myself eye level with Luke, the ground almost a foot beneath my curling toes.

”Ah, gotcha,” Luke said, hurriedly catching me with a hand on the side, the other under my arm, his fingers pressing into my shoulder blade. ”Sorry about that. I’ve spent most of the last few days consolidating my soul. Still haven’t had time to figure out my strength.”

I nodded, my throat suddenly dry. He held my gaze as he lowered me to my feet; his hand lingered on my side. His other rose, catching a stray lock of my hair, gently tucking it behind my ear. His knuckles grazed my cheek, and my heart skipped a beat, fluttering in a way that had nothing to do with the jolt of adrenaline from his catch.

Luke swallowed hard, his eyes shying away. ”I, er, we should probably go. It’s been a long time, and...” His eyes wandered back. He licked his lips, caressing my hip through the thin fabric of my dress.

I blushed and nodded, but his grip, while gentle, was firm as iron. There was no stepping away. Not that I could. I stood rooted to the spot, my lips parted slightly. Luke leaned closer, and I closed my eyes.

His lips brushed mine in a kiss, warm and soft. I relaxed against him, sinking into the embrace as he pressed deeper. His arm drew me closer, tightening on my back, his fingers sliding up to weave through my hair. My hands pressed against his chest, trembling as I struggled to hold back the urge to wrap them around his neck.

His kiss softened after a moment, and he drew away, his fingers slipping from my hair. I opened my eyes, finding his so close, so full of...of desire. My heart stilled. There were no words that could describe the way he looked at me. I tried to speak, but my tongue felt heavy, and all I managed was to gulp, drawing his gaze down for a split second.

”I thought I was going to lose you,” he whispered, resting his forehead against mine.

My fingers tightened on his shirt. ”Me too. But it’s okay. You came back in the end. Thank you.”

He opened his mouth, the beginnings of a protest on his lips, but I rose on my tiptoes, silencing him with a kiss of my own. He made a small sound of surprise, which turned into a low hum in his chest, sending vibrations tingling across my lips. My eyes squeezed shut again, my tail curling in helpless joy as he responded. A thrill ran through me as his hand ran down my side, and I let out a soft whimper. He was so warm it filled me from the tip of my curling tail to my horns, drawing me in until nothing else mattered.

Suddenly, Luke froze, his tail going stiff against mine. His lips vanished, leaving me flushed and panting, my eyes half-lidded. I looked up at him, waiting for him to lean over again. I was grateful he’d given me a chance to catch my breath, but eager to surrender to his touch again.

But he didn’t. I watched, my confusion turning to dismay as he pulled away. I tried to close the distance, but his grip was firm. My lips twisted in a small pout as he lifted me away. What was he doing?

”I need to go,” He said hoarsely. Was that...fear?

I tilted my head, but he delicately stepped away, pulling out of my grasp. I sank back dazedly, falling onto the bed. My head spun as he turned away, rubbing the back of his neck.

”The things you do to me...” He shook his head, grabbing his sword from where it leaned against the table. As he opened the door, he cast one last look back at me and looked away quickly again. ”I’ll wait for you in the common room.”

There was something in his voice, something in his eyes, that I hadn’t seen before. It cut to the heart, chilling the warmth that had smothered all other thoughts away. Cold dread settled in my stomach, and I curled up in the bed, my arms wrapped around myself.

What was I doing?

Those feelings...they were so much hotter, so much more passionate, than anything I’d felt before. I couldn’t believe how badly I wanted Luke to kiss me more, to feel his hands on me, his warmth. Was a kiss all I wanted? Or was it more?

I shivered violently, rocking back and forth. Shame and terror formed a knot in my stomach that left me feeling sick. I cursed myself for wondering if there was anything more to our relationship. Apparently, there was. Luke had sacrificed his invasion for me, and in return, I had...what? Desire?

I didn’t know. It was so hazy, so confusing. Was it love? Real love? Or just...warmth.

There was a soft knock at the door. I froze, my tail going rigid in terror. The door creaked open, and R’lissea looked through. Her lips pursed as she saw me cowering on the bed, tears streaking my cheeks.

”Xiv?” She asked, slipping into the room, closing the door behind her. ”Luke came down, and I...well, looks like I was right.”

She sat on the bed, taking my hand. I resisted her tug, but her grip was firm. I let out a choked sob, letting her pull me into her arms.

”Poor girl, you’re trembling,” she murmured, stroking my hair soothingly. Just like she had the countless nights I’d woken from nightmares. Only this time, it wasn’t a dream or vision. ”What’s gotten into you? Did something happen?”

”I...I wanted him to...to kiss me,” I said, my voice shaking. ”But when he did, it wasn’t enough. I needed, um, wanted more. I felt so...” I trailed off, staring at my lap. I hated how warm my cheeks were. Even now, faced with the truth, I couldn’t ignore the longing ache in my heart. I exhaled heavily, resolving myself to those feelings. ”I wanted more.”

R’lissea was quiet for a long time before asking, ”And that scares you?”