The Devil's Favourite Obsession

”Did you see any Reapers there?” the former Empress interrupted Cixi.

The Reaper’s question sent a sharp alarm through her mind. Her thoughts had already become tangled after realising what she might have done.

She did not need to think twice about that dark night on the terrace. She remembered looking around for any Grim Reaper and finding none. She had been the only supernatural presence there.

The horror slipping out from behind Cixi’s defensive mask gave the Reaper her answer.

”When a Reaper is not present to collect a soul, the human survives,” the Reaper informed her.

But then another thought began to disturb Cixi’s reasoning. She opened her mouth, but her words tangled in her dry throat.

If Cassian had never been dying, how had he seen her?

Until now, only those taking their final breaths had been able to see her or feel her presence. That had been the one rule she had understood.

Then another thought struck her.

The young man on the terrace.

If Cassian had survived... had that man also survived?

What kind of men were they? How much blood could they lose and still remain alive? What kind of strength allowed them to stand so close to death and yet refuse it?

This was a new domain for Cixi. Unlike the Reapers, she was still inexperienced in this strange existence. She had been navigating it alone, learning through mistakes rather than guidance.

The coin remained suspended in the air.

Gathering the courage to face her own possible mistake, Cixi finally forced herself to ask,

”He saw me,” Cixi insisted, swallowing the rising lump in her throat. ”He touched me. I felt the physical heat of his skin against mine. That is exactly why I assumed he was dying. If he wasn’t dying, how was I able to...” Her voice dropped into a thin, shaking whisper. ”...feel him?”

She looked down at her bare feet. Heat rushed to her cheeks as the memory of their kiss invaded her mind.

That bastard.

The curse left her lips silently. He had stolen her pity when he had not even been dying.

”He was on the brink of death,” the Reaper replied flatly, unaffected by Cixi’s emotional turmoil. ”But his mortal thread did not snap.”

”And the other young man on the terrace?” Cixi asked, remembering the second body lying motionless in the storm.

Before that question could settle in her mind, another, far more troubling one rose.

”If my kiss bound him to my curse... then shouldn’t he experience what I experience? Is he also witnessing death every night? But then that wouldn’t be a curse for him. Perhaps he is sitting in a perfect corner, smirking as he watches people suffer...” Cixi frowned. ”And why are you only telling me this now? If we are bound together, why did you wait six months to inform me that he is not supposed to kiss anyone else?” Cixi’s eyes widened slowly as a darker possibility entered her mind. ”Six months...” Cixi repeated quietly. ”What if he has already slept with dozens of women?!!! What will happen to Me now? Did he already lie with other women during these six months?”

Her breathing grew uneven as horrifying thoughts conquered her mind. Had she doomed herself forever to this life?

”If he did... then how am I supposed to make those women fall in love with me?” A short, strained breath escaped her. ”Even without experience, I know this much: I only go one way. I like men.”

Cixi spun on her heel and began pacing the cramped space of her apartment, her bare feet slapping against the cold floorboards. Then she stopped abruptly right in front of the Reaper, pointing a shaking finger at her.

”Are you doing this deliberately to make me suffer?” The question came out raw. ”Why didn’t you come earlier? Why didn’t you tell me anything about my curse? If Cassian Crown survived for six months, why did you remain silent all that time?”

Her strength finally gave way.

She dropped onto her heels, both hands gripping her head as though she were trying to hold her sanity together.

She truly felt as though she had lost everything.

This Reaper was playing games with her, treating her life like a board game.

And what of the one who ruled the underworld and its afterlife entities? Were they simply watching? How could they allow a Reaper to move freely and interfere with human lives like this?

’I am the innocent one here,’ her thoughts burned. ’And yet I am the one being punished for my one mistake, while others who kill for entertainment or boredom are free to roam. I am punished for ending my own life, yet they are not punished for ending others’. What kind of twisted laws exist beyond human understanding? Why do the cruel ones find pleasure while the broken must endure even more suffering?’

It was not that she wanted to die....

But neither did she find any joy in living....

The curse had not taught her to love life.....

It had only taught her that she could not escape it, and that knowledge only deepened her anger.

Before she noticed the movement, the Reaper was already kneeling before her, the scythe held upright like a staff of judgment. The sudden closeness sent a chill across her skin. Seeing the Reaper so near felt deeply unnatural.

”Humans learn from their mistakes,” the Reaper responded.

Cixi’s jaw dropped. Was that truly the grand plan? To wait for her to make a catastrophic error before stepping in to explain the rules?

”Does that twisted logic even make sense to you?” Cixi challenged the Reaper, her voice dripping with venom.

”If life started to make sense to a lowly human mind, do you believe pain, hatred, and jealousy would still exist?”

Cixi stared blankly at the ex-Empress Dowager for lecturing her on the philosophical subject while she was trying to understand how a Reaper can curse her for a being named Cixi.

She fought the powerful urge to roll her eyes at the ancient entity.

The Empress Dowager had survived assassination attempts, betrayals, and the collapse of her dynasty. To someone like her, Cixi’s suffering must have looked like child’s play.

But Cixi was not an Empress.

She was only a girl who had been pushed too far.