The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 86: Chapter 86- The Second Kiss

Zac did not move away.

Neither did Roxie.

The room felt too small and too quiet at the same time. Roxie could smell the fries on her fingers and the faint trace of Zac’s cologne under the fryer oil on her shirt. Her heart was beating so hard she was sure he could hear it.

He was still looking at her mouth.

Roxie swallowed. ”We shouldn’t.”

”I know,” Zac said, voice low.

He did not lean in right away. He just watched her, giving her space to pull back or tell him to stop. That made it worse. Made it harder to stay mad.

Roxie’s fingers tightened in the blanket.

Then Zac moved.

Slow.

His hand came up first, careful, like he was asking permission without saying it. He brushed a piece of hair off her cheek, his thumb barely touching her skin. Roxie’s breath caught. She did not mean for it to.

When he finally kissed her, it was not smooth.

Their noses bumped first. Zac adjusted, tilting his head, and then his mouth found hers. It was warm and a little clumsy on both sides. Her because she still did not really know what she was doing. Him because he was trying too hard not to mess it up. Their lips pressed together too hard at first, then softer, like he was figuring her out in real time.

Roxie’s hands stayed frozen in her lap for a second before one of them moved on its own, grabbing the front of his hoodie like she needed something to hold onto. Zac made a quiet sound against her mouth. Not quite a laugh. Not quite a sigh. He kissed her again, slower this time.

It was weird.

Sweet in a way that made her chest hurt.

Weird because she could still taste salt from the fries. Weird because her heart was racing like she was running from something even while she was leaning into him. Weird because part of her was still furious and the other part was kissing him back like she had been waiting to do it again since the carnival.

Zac’s hand slid to the side of her neck, thumb resting just under her jaw.

Is he going to kiss her again?

He kissed her like he was trying to say sorry without using the word again. Like he knew this did not fix anything but wanted to do it anyway.

Roxie kissed him back because she was tired of fighting it.

Because it was his birthday.

Because he had waited outside her house with food and had not said a single thing about her mom on the couch.

Because she was bad at staying mad when he looked at her like this.

The kiss stayed soft. A little messy. Her bottom lip caught between his for a second and she did not know if she was supposed to move or stay still. Zac did not push it further. He did not try to deepen it or pull her closer. He just stayed right there, kissing her like he was afraid she would disappear if he got too greedy.

When they finally broke apart, it was only by an inch.

Roxie’s eyes stayed closed for a second longer than they should have. Her hand was still fisted in his hoodie. She could feel his breath on her mouth and it made something in her stomach flip hard.

Zac’s voice was rough when he spoke.

”Still mad?”

Roxie opened her eyes.

She was. A little. But the answer that came out was quieter than she meant it to be.

The worst part was that she knew she was going to remember this.

Not just the kiss.

All of it.

The fries on her fingers. The stupid cupcake box on her bed. His hand on her waist. The way he stopped when she froze. The way he looked at her like she was something he was afraid to break.

Roxie knew herself.

She knew exactly how this would go.

Tomorrow, she would wake up angry again. She would remember Bianca. Janice. The rumors. The fact that Zac could still walk into school untouched while everything around her burned.

And still, some pathetic part of her would come back to this room.

To this bed.

To this second.

To the fact that she let him kiss her like this.

”Yeah.”

Zac’s mouth twitched, but he did not smile. He just looked at her like he was trying to decide something. Then he leaned in again.

This time the kiss was not soft.

His hand stayed on the side of her neck as he kissed her harder. Roxie’s fingers tightened in his hoodie. She tried to keep up, but everything moved faster than she expected. His mouth opened against hers and she felt his tongue brush her bottom lip. It sent a jolt straight through her chest.

She had not been ready for that.

Roxie made a small sound in the back of her throat, half surprise, half something she did not want to name.

Zac took it as permission. He deepened the kiss, tongue sliding against hers, slow but sure. He knew what he was doing. That much was obvious. The way he tilted his head, the way he guided her without forcing, the way his other hand found her waist and stayed there like he was holding her in place.

Roxie tried to follow. She really did. But her brain was moving too slow and her body was moving too fast.

Her heart slammed against her ribs like it was trying to escape. She could taste the salt from the fries on his tongue. She could smell the faint clean scent of his hoodie mixed with the fryer oil still clinging to her own shirt.

Everything felt too close. Too much.

Her hand was still gripping his hoodie like a lifeline. She did not know where to put her other hand. It hovered uselessly near his chest before finally landing on his shoulder. She was pretty sure she was kissing back wrong. Or at least not as good as he was. Her tongue moved awkwardly against his and she immediately felt stupid for it.

Zac did not seem to care.

He made a low sound and kissed her deeper, pulling her a little closer on the bed. The space between them disappeared. Roxie’s back hit the wall behind her and she barely noticed. All she could focus on was the heat of his mouth and the way his hand had slid under the hem of her shirt, fingers resting warm against the skin of her waist. Not moving higher. Just there. Like he was testing how much she would let him have.

It was too much.

Her head was spinning. Her chest felt tight. She could not tell if she wanted to pull him closer or push him away so she could breathe. Both feelings crashed into each other so hard she almost laughed, except nothing about this felt funny.

She should have stopped.

That thought came clear and sharp.

She should have pushed him back, told him he was late, told him birthday fries did not erase Bianca, Janice, the suspension, or the fact that caring about him kept costing her pieces of herself.

But Zac’s mouth moved against hers, and Roxie’s body betrayed her with embarrassing speed.

Zac’s thumb brushed the edge of her ribcage and Roxie jerked slightly, overwhelmed. The movement made their teeth knock together for half a second. She pulled back on instinct, breathing hard, lips wet and tingling.

Zac’s eyes opened. They were darker than usual. His breathing was not steady either.

”Sorry,” he said, voice rough. ”Too much?”

Roxie stared at him. Her hand was still fisted in his hoodie. She could feel her pulse everywhere. In her throat. In her lips. Between her legs in a way that made her face burn.

She was still mad.

She was also shaking a little.

And she hated how badly she wanted him to kiss her again even though her brain felt like it was short-circuiting.

Roxie swallowed. Her voice came out smaller than she wanted.

”I don’t know how to do this.”

Zac looked at her for a long second. Then his hand on her waist tightened, not pulling, just holding.

”You’re doing fine,” he said quietly.

He leaned in again, slower this time, and kissed her once more. Softer. Like he was giving her a chance to catch up. His tongue touched hers again, gentler, waiting to see what she would do.

Roxie closed her eyes and tried to let go of the panic in her chest.

She kissed him back.

It was still messy. Still a little awkward on her end. But she stopped trying to be good at it and just let herself feel it. The warmth. The pressure. The way Zac’s hand stayed steady on her waist like he was anchoring her.

She was overwhelmed.

Roxie did not know what scared her more.

That he had kissed her like that.

Or that she had let him.

No, not let him.

She had kissed him back.

She had held onto his hoodie. She had leaned closer. She had wanted more even while every sensible part of her was screaming that this was exactly how girls like her got stupid.

Later, if he hurt her, she would not even get to pretend she had not known better.

She knew.

She was doing it anyway.

And she did not want him to stop.