The 99th Divorce

“Silly child,” Jiao Ziqing’s tone carried a hint of a smile. “Would it be of any use to hold it against you? In any case, you’re my only daughter-in-law.”

Hearing Jiao Ziqing say that made Yu Lili cry even more. She was now wailing like a baby.

Ou Ming was at a loss of what to do. In that moment, he could neither hug her nor embrace her. He desperately helped her to wipe the tears of her face as he said, “Don’t cry. Don’t cry.”

On the other side of the line, Jiao Ziqing burst out laughing and remarked, “My dear silly son. Pregnancy causes a woman’s emotions to be unstable. Crying one moment and laughing the next is a very common thing. Why are behaving like the mentally challenged kid next door?”

When she heard Jiao Ziqing’s words of teasing, Yu Lili suddenly stopped wailing and laughed.

The comment made Ou Ming blush. “Mom, my wife is here. How can you say that?”

Jiao Ziqing laughed even harder on the phone as she replied, “There are times that even you get embarrassed?”

“Fine. I’m hanging up. I’m off to cajole my wife.” Ou Ming immediately hung up the phone and pulled out a piece of tissue to wipe Yu Lili’s tears.

When he found Yu Lili’s body trembling, he quickly lifted her face to his, only to find a huge grin on her tearstained face. He had nothing to say. Indeed, a pregnant woman’s emotions were volatile. One moment she was crying. In the next moment, she was laughing.

Seeing her finally laugh put Ou Ming’s heart at ease. With an exasperated chuckle, he said, “You’re going to drive me crazy.”

In reply, Yu Lili guffawed irreverently and repeated, “Mentally challenged kid next door… Ha ha ha ha…”

Ou Ming was speechless. He drove off in resignation. They soon reached the villa.

While he was driving, he made many phone calls along the way to all his good friends to share the happy news.

The first one he called was Li Sicheng. The first words he said were, “Second Brother, I’m about to be a father!”

Li Sicheng replied, “Well, I’ve been a father for a long time already.”

“No, I’m different from you,” Ou Ming said.

“How are we different?” Li Sicheng asked. “Oh, well… I’m the father of twins. You’re only expecting one kid, right?”

“No,” Ou Ming replied. “This is my first time being a father! We just found out today! Shouldn’t you be congratulating me?”

At the moment, Li Sicheng was at a gynecological checkup with his wife. He looked at Su Qianci in the ultrasound room. With a smile, he said, “Congratulations! But, I’m going to be a father for a second time. You should congratulate me too!”

Ou Ming was at a loss for words. This conversation couldn’t continue. He hung up the phone and made his next call.

Luo Zhan was in the office banging away at this keyboard as line after line of code appeared on the computer screen. Naturally, he was feeling very satisfied with his work.

His phone rang. It was Ou Ming.

Before Luo Zhan could even say anything, Ou Ming yelled over the phone, “Luo Zhan, I’m going to be a father!”

Luo Zhan’s hand jerked back from the keyboard. The lines of code he had painstakingly entered were suddenly wiped out. His first reaction was to yell, “Oh f*ck!”

Hearing that made Ou Ming very satisfied with himself. He laughed out loud and continued, “My wife is pregnant. I’m finally going to be a father! You’re already 32, so it’s about time you found someone to settle down with!”

Luo Zhan was silently trying to retrieve his lost work. He replied, “Didn’t you just get married yesterday? Don’t you usually have to wait for about half a year before conceiving? Why aren’t you following the proper procedure? You’re seriously overboard!”

“You’re saying that only because you’re single.” Ou Ming was finally able to find Luo Zhan’s soft spot and get some satisfaction from it. He rejoiced inwardly.

Indeed, Luo Zhan was really fun to tease.