That Day When Suzuki-kun Wasn't the Mob-B!

”Wait! Wait! Wait! That reaction is way too normal!”

Gojo whined loudly, complaining with the exact same dramatic flair as Nobita crying to Doraemon.

”Is it?” Suzuki remained entirely unimpressed, taking a slow sip of his coffee while turning a page of Einstein’s Relativity: The Special and the General Theory.

”Is it?!” Gojo sighed exaggeratedly. ”Do you not know who Sukuna is? The King of Curses! The walking natural disaster! The guy whose legends literally defined the Heian Era! He was sealed inside indestructible fingers, and this kid right here—Yuji Itadori—just ate one! Is that really how you react? You’re supposed to be way more dramatic, you know!”

”Like how?” Suzuki asked, his eyes never leaving the textbook.

”Like...” Gojo deepened his voice, perfectly mimicking the crotchety, fearful panic of the Jujutsu Elders. ”’Kill him! He is a calamity! We cannot allow such an anomaly to exist!’ Or maybe you should strike a cool pose and say, ’I must prepare my defenses, for the King of Curses will surely target me now!’”

”Didn’t you literally carry him into my living room?” Suzuki deadpanned, finally looking up. ”If you hadn’t brought him here, he wouldn’t be targeting me at all.”

”.....”

Gojo and Yuji both fell completely silent.

Suzuki lived a pragmatic, peaceful life. He spent his time optimizing his technique, studying physics, and cornering the economic market. Now, Gojo was casually dumping a walking disaster onto his engawa.

”Should I just seize half the Gojo clan’s remaining fortune as an inconvenience fee?” Suzuki mused aloud.

He didn’t actually mind sheltering Yuji. In fact, looking at the goofy, earnest teenager, Suzuki’s calculating mind only saw immense, untapped profit margins. He knew exactly what Yuji was. Yuji wasn’t just some tough kid who got lucky; he was a highly specialized, genetically modified vessel, meticulously crafted by Kenjaku—a millennium-old, body-hopping sorcerer with entirely too much free time.

Why did it take Kenjaku a thousand years to create him? Probably because the ancient sorcerer was physically weak and had to wait centuries for the right variables to align.

Regardless, Suzuki knew Sukuna could do absolutely nothing while trapped inside Yuji’s body. Yuji was built specifically to be an inescapable cage. The rest of the jujutsu world panicked because they couldn’t fathom a mastermind patient enough to execute a millennium-long breeding experiment.

What made Yuji so incredibly special was his constitution. High-grade cursed objects, especially Sukuna’s fingers, were highly concentrated, lethal poison. If a normal human swallowed one, they would either die in excruciating agony or have their soul instantly overwritten by the incarnating curse. Yuji, however, could safely digest and suppress them.

Yuji’s true, terrifying innate ability was consumption. Theoretically, if Gojo and Suzuki died and Yuji ate them, he could absorb their cursed techniques as well. Not that the good-natured boy would ever do something so grotesque.

”....”

Right?

Regardless, to Suzuki, Yuji was a walking gold mine. Cursed objects were a massive, lethal plague across Japan. Exorcising or securing them costs the government and private sectors billions. Usually, the corrupt Jujutsu Elders skimmed eighty percent off the top of those mission payouts, leaving the actual frontline sorcerers—who risked their lives and limbs—with pennies. When these isolated, alienated sorcerers inevitably died in the line of duty, the Elders simply absorbed whatever wealth they had left.

Compared to the bloodsucking greed of the conservative Elders, Sukuna and Gojo were cute little nuisances.

By utilizing Yuji’s unique constitution to safely ingest and destroy cursed objects, Suzuki could completely undercut the Elders’ monopoly on cursed object disposal, redirecting a massive stream of revenue directly into the Zenin Clan’s pockets.

And what was Gojo’s master plan to fix this corrupt society? Teaching high schoolers.

Gojo was passively waiting for a ”new generation” of strong allies to eventually replace the higher-ups. But without changing the economic and political system itself, what guarantee was there that this new generation wouldn’t become just as greedy? How did Gojo plan to reduce the number of Curse Users if the economic conditions of average sorcerers remained miserable?

This was exactly why Suzuki despised people who were handed godhood at birth. Satoru Gojo had been given everything from the moment he opened his Six Eyes; he didn’t understand the struggles, desperation, or motivations of the weak. Because of that blind spot, he wasn’t fit to lead a revolution.

”Hehehe...”

Gojo, completely oblivious to Suzuki’s harsh internal critique, decided to be petty. Remembering how Suzuki had mocked him earlier, Gojo leaned in with a shit-eating grin. ”Are you afraid, Suzuki-kun?”

It was shameless payback for being called a chicken.

Suzuki simply yawned, took another sip of his coffee, and completely ignored him.

”...” Gojo pouted. ”Hey, don’t ignore me!”

Suddenly, a dark, suffocating cursed energy exploded across the engawa.

Yuji had let his guard down in the relaxed atmosphere, and the King of Curses seized the opening violently! Black tattoos instantly materialized across Yuji’s skin, and a second pair of blood-red eyes snapped open beneath his own.

”Hey, stop it!” Yuji’s inner voice fought back, but he was a fraction of a second too late.

”Dismantle,” Sukuna sneered, raising two fingers toward the men who had been ignoring him.

Gojo casually kept his hands in his pockets, completely unbothered. He was already preparing to yawn again; the invisible slash would never bypass Infinity anyway.

Suzuki, however, was not about to let his newly acquired real estate get sliced in half.

Before Sukuna’s fingers could even twitch to launch the slash, Suzuki vanished.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

What was the absolute greatest advantage of Projection Sorcery? Unrivaled, physics-breaking speed. By dividing a single second into twenty-four predetermined frames, Suzuki was arguably the fastest living being on the planet.

Before Sukuna’s brain could even process the visual data of Suzuki leaving his chair, Suzuki was already standing directly inside the King of Curses’ guard.

”Don’t mess up my house, you bastard,” Suzuki whispered coldly.

He drove his fist directly into Sukuna’s stomach. The sheer kinetic velocity of the strike was devastating enough on its own, but as his knuckles connected, a violent spatial distortion was triggered. An explosive burst of black lightning crackled wildly around the point of impact.

Black Flash.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The shockwave launched Sukuna out of the estate like a cannonball. The King of Curses was sent violently skipping across the garden pond before crashing straight through a distant stone retaining wall, buried under tons of rubble.

Whistle!

Gojo lowered his sunglasses, unable to help himself as he let out a long, highly impressed whistle.