Take Me Away, Dark Lord!

”Why do you refuse to mingle with your peers?”

Seraphina closed her heavy book with a loud, echoing THUD.

She turned fully toward Alistair.

The innocent toddler facade was gone completely; the soft smile disappeared, and the childish sparkle vanished from her eyes.

What remained was a cynical gaze that seemed wrong on the face of a six-year-old girl.

Seraphina leaned forward.

”My peers?”

She scoffed softly.

”Do you truly believe those invitations are about tea and ponies, Auntie Alistair?”

Alistair froze.

”They are fishing expeditions.”

His emerald eyes widened.

”Those Countesses want to put me in a room with their pampered children so they can extract information. They want to know what the Archduke’s weaknesses are, and whether I am legitimate. They want to know how much influence I have over Papa.”

Alistair swallowed hard.

Seraphina’s voice dropped lower.

”I will not waste my time eating stale biscuits and pretending to be impressed by porcelain dolls while a room full of miniature spies studies me.”

She leaned back.

”I am waiting.”

”Waiting for what?”

”The board isn’t set yet.”

Her dark eyes sharpened.

”The real battlefield is the Emperor’s Banquet, where I make my official debut in the high society, isn’t it?”

Alistair’s breath caught.

”I will not reveal my hand until the entire Capital is watching.”

Silence.

The garden suddenly felt much colder as Alistair stared at her.

The invitations lying between them suddenly seemed ridiculous.

Tea parties... Pony rides... Children’s games....

He had been thinking about socialization, but she had been thinking about intelligence gathering, political positioning, and information warfare.

Alistair slowly lowered himself onto the bench.

His usual arrogance vanished.

The beautiful, fastidious scholar looked genuinely shaken.

”Who... who are you?”

Seraphina said nothing.

”You’re not a six-year-old child.”

His voice trembled.

”You can’t be.”

Seraphina watched him carefully.

She saw the fear.

More importantly, she saw the realization.

He believed her.

Oh.

That’s inconvenient.

If Alistair decided she was secretly some kind of political mastermind, he would undoubtedly report it to Kaelus. And Kaelus would respond by doubling her guards, tripling her restrictions, and probably constructing a fortress around her bedroom.

That would be disastrous!

She needed Alistair confused.

She needed him to be uncertain.

And, preferably, too embarrassed to ever repeat this conversation.

Seraphina’s expression changed instantly as the mastermind disappeared and the cold, calculating eyes became enormous and watery.

Her lower lip began trembling.

Once.

Twice.

Then violently.

Her cheeks puffed out.

Her eyes filled with enormous, shimmering tears.

Alistair’s expression changed.

”What are you—”

”AUNITIE A-ALISTAIR IS BEING MEEEEAN!”

The scream detonated across the garden.

Alistair nearly fell off the bench.

”He is trying to make me go to a party with strangers!”

Seraphina threw both hands over her face.

”I DON’T WANNA GO!”

Her shoulders began shaking.

”I WANT MY PAPA!”

Alistair stared at her in absolute horror.

”Wait.”

She peeked through her fingers.

”He called me a fake!”

”I did not!”

Alistair shot upright.

”No! No, I didn’t!”

Seraphina’s crying somehow became louder.

”I don’t wanna be a fake!”

”That is not what I said!”

”I WANT PAPA!”

”Please stop shouting!”

”I WANT PAAAAAPA!”

Alistair frantically looked around.

”The tears are unnecessary!”

Seraphina wailed harder.

”HE SAID MY TEARS WERE UNNECESSARY!”

”I—THAT IS NOT WHAT I—”

The garden doors suddenly SLAMMED open as Sir Boris and Sir Gallahan charged through them.

Both already had their swords drawn as they looked ready to commit several internationally recognized crimes.

”WHERE IS SHE?!”

Boris’s single eye swept across the garden.

Then he saw Seraphina.

Crying.

He froze.

His expression changed, slowly and terrifyingly; his gaze moved toward Alistair.

Alistair immediately took one step backward.

”Ah.”

Boris cracked his knuckles.

The sound resembled two boulders colliding.

”Alistair.”

”Boris.”

”Did you make the Mushroom cry?”

”I did not!”

Alistair’s voice cracked.

”It is a trap!”

Boris’s eye narrowed.

”She was discussing economic strategy with me until now!”

Silence.

Gallahan blinked.

”What?”

”She was discussing economic strategy!”

Alistair pointed frantically at Seraphina.

”She was analyzing the geopolitical purpose behind aristocratic invitations!”

Boris stared at him.

Gallahan also stared at him.

Seraphina continued sobbing.

”She made me want to go to parties.”

Alistair’s face turned white.

”No!”

Boris’s massive shoulders rose.

”Parties?”

”Yes,” Seraphina sniffled.

”She said I have to eat stale biscuits.”

Gallahan’s face became genuinely horrified.

”Stale biscuits?”

”I DID NOT SAY THAT!”

Alistair’s voice reached a frequency previously unknown to human beings.

Gallahan slowly drew his sword.

”You monster.”

”I am not a monster!”

”To subject the Sovereign to inferior baked goods...”

Gallahan’s golden eyes flashed.

”That is a crime against civilization.”

”Wait!”

Boris stepped forward.

Alistair backed away.

”Boris, listen to me!”

”You made the Mushroom cry.”

”I DIDN’T!”

”You are making her cry again.”

”She is doing it deliberately!”

Seraphina sobbed louder.

”He’s yelling at me!”

Boris’s eye twitched.

Gallahan pointed dramatically toward the reflection pool.

”Alistair.”

”No.”

”You have exactly three seconds.”

”No!”

”Three.”

”I am the Chief Administrative Aide!”

”Two.”

”I manage the entire Northern administrative structure!”

”One.”

”THIS IS AN ABUSE OF EXECUTIVE POWER!”

Alistair turned and ran.

Boris and Gallahan immediately chased after him.

”GET BACK HERE, YOU HEARTLESS BUREAUCRAT!”

”THE POOL AWAITS!”

”I WILL REPORT BOTH OF YOU TO HIS GRACE!”

”DO IT!”

Their voices gradually disappeared down the corridor.

Seraphina sat down quietly on the bench as the garden became peaceful again.

She lowered her hands.

The tears vanished instantly; her trembling lip stopped as her cheeks relaxed.

Her expression returned to normal.

She picked up her enormous geopolitical history book and opened it, found her bookmark, and continued reading.

’He is smart.’

A tiny smile appeared.

’Very smart.’

She turned a page.

’But I am an Oscar-winning actress.’

Another page.

’Let him try to warn Papa Duke.’

Her smile became positively wicked.

’No one is going to believe the fussy aide over the crying, pitiful toddler.’

A distant scream echoed through the estate.

”PUT ME DOWN!”

Another voice answered.

”THE MUSHROOM MUST BE AVENGED!”

Seraphina calmly continued reading.