Take Me Away, Dark Lord!

He was completely baffled by her unwavering commitment to the lie.

”I... I fell on a tooth-shaped rock?” Bartholomew stammered, looking down at the glowing purple bite mark on his cravat, his mind spinning. ”That is... that is the most insulting, deeply absurd thing I have ever heard! You were literally holding me in a headlock!”

”You tripped,” Seraphina nodded ​sagely, maintaining absolute eye contact. ”You tripped, and you fell into my arms, and then you hit your face on my teeth. It was a tragic accident. It’s fine, I forgive you.”

Bartholomew let out a sound that was half-sob, half-scream.

He threw his hands into the air, executing a flawless athletic backflip out of pure, frustrated energy, landing perfectly on his feet three feet in the air.

”Fine! Fine!” Bartholomew yielded, throwing his hands down in defeat. He realized that arguing with a six-year-old narcissist was a battle he was destined to lose for all eternity. ”Let the records show that I, Bartholomew, tragically tripped into the jaws of the Northern heir. The indignity of it all.”

”Exactly,” Seraphina smiled, looking incredibly smug.

She shifted on the mattress, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Her heart was still beating a little fast from the rude awakening, and the pink ember-puppy, Ignis, let out a soft, confused whine from the foot of the bed, burying its nose under a pillow to escape the noise.

Seraphina looked at the energetic, athletic ghost butler.

”Okay, Butt-tolomeow,” Seraphina said, dropping the gaslighting act and adopting a more serious, inquisitive tone. ”If you didn’t come here to be an eclair, why are you in my room? Papa Duke put wards on the door. He said no one was allowed in.”

Bartholomew floated closer, his translucent face dropping the comedic frustration, immediately adopting the strict, somber professionalism of a lifelong servant. He smoothed down his spectral tailcoat, adjusting his cuffs.

”Your father’s wards are formidable, Lady Seraphina,” Bartholomew admitted, a note of genuine respect in his voice. ”They are designed to repel physical intruders and hostile demonic entities. However, I am bound to the very stones of this fortress. I am not an intruder; I am the foundation. The wards recognized me as part of the architecture.”

He paused, looking at her with a heavy, sorrowful expression.

”I came to wake you, My Lady, because I was entrusted with a final request. A delivery of tidings from the Ancestors.”

Seraphina’s dark eyes narrowed. ”The grandpas? Lord Ignis the Elder and his boyband?”

”Indeed,” Bartholomew nodded, though he looked slightly pained by the term ’boyband’. ”They visited you this afternoon and warned you of the ancient anomaly buried beneath the Ashen Forest. They tasked you with informing your father, so that he might halt Archduke Leonidas’s excavation.”

”I did,” Seraphina confirmed, nodding firmly. ”I told Papa Duke immediately. He yelled at Uncle Leo, and then he made a very scary face, and they both went to the war room to make a plan. The grandpas’ quest is complete.”

”It is,” Bartholomew smiled, a soft, wistful expression crossing his sharp features. ”And because it is complete, because they finally managed to pass on their warning and secure the safety of their descendant... their earthly tethers have been severed.”

Seraphina blinked, a sudden, surprising pang of sadness hitting her chest. ”Severed? What does that mean?”

”It means they have passed on, My Lady,” Bartholomew explained gently. ”They have finally moved forward into the Light of the afterlife. They held onto this realm for centuries, anchored by the terror of that buried anomaly. But knowing the Reaper of the North is handling it gave them the peace they needed. They are free. They asked me to convey their deepest, most eternal gratitude to you before they faded.”

Seraphina looked down at her hands resting on the silk duvet.

She had only known the five handsome ghost grandpas for a few hours. They had juggled horses for her.

They had made her laugh when she was lonely. And now, they were just... gone.

It wasn’t a tragic death.

It was a beautiful, peaceful resolution.

But the finality of it still made her small heart ache.

”I’m glad they’re resting,” Seraphina whispered softly. She looked back up at the butler. ”But... why didn’t you pass on with them? Weren’t you scared of the anomaly too?”

Bartholomew straightened his posture. The faint, pale blue light radiating from his ethereal form seemed to solidify, taking on a rigid, unbreakable dignity.

He placed his right hand over his heart, executing a bow that contained decades of unwavering loyalty.

”I am a servant of the House of Valen, Lady Seraphina,” Bartholomew declared, his voice ringing with absolute pride. ”My duty does not end merely because a threat is addressed. My tether is not built on fear, or regret, or unfinished business. My tether is built on love. I swore an oath to protect this mansion, to oversee its halls, and to safeguard the family that resides within it. Even in death, I am the Head Butler of the Obsidian Gate. I will not pass on until these walls crumble to dust.”

Seraphina stared at the ghost.

’He’s incredible,’ she thought, a wave of genuine respect washing over her. ’He is literally the ultimate, ride-or-die loyal retainer. He chose to stay a ghost just so he could keep checking the inventory and making sure the carpets are clean. That is peak dedication.’

”You’re a very good butler, Butt-tolomeow!” Seraphina smiled warmly.

”I strive for excellence, My Lady,” Bartholomew replied humbly. But then, his spectral face instantly darkened, the athletic, frantic energy returning in full force. ”Which brings me to the disastrous reason for my intrusion into your chambers tonight.”

Seraphina’s smile vanished. ”Disastrous?”

Bartholomew drifted closer to the bed, wringing his white-gloved hands together in obvious, frantic distress.

”You informed your father of the danger. Your father halted the excavation,” Bartholomew recounted rapidly. ”This was the correct, logical sequence of events. However, you failed to account for the pig-headed recklessness of Archduke Leonidas Valen.”