Take Me Away, Dark Lord!

Kaelus stared at the top of her head.

He could easily push his chair back.

He could easily order her back to her cushions.

Instead, he subtly, carefully shifted his posture, adjusting the angle of his leg to ensure the contour of his knee provided proper neck support for her.

He then picked his quill back up and returned to reading, functioning perfectly as human furniture.

.

.

.

While the carriage ride was peaceful, the transit route was dotted with numerous bustling trade cities, agricultural hubs, and merchant crossroads.​

Whenever the convoy halted to resupply or rest the horses, the vibrant sounds of market squares and city festivals would drift through the carriage windows.

Seraphina’s ears would perk up.

She had been incredibly well-behaved, but even a reincarnated soul needed to stretch her legs and look at something other than a tax ledger.

”Papa,” Seraphina would ask, peering over the edge of his desk. ”Can we go outside? I hear music.”

Kaelus would look at the literal mountain of paperwork burying his desk, a look of frustration crossing his features. ”I cannot, Seraphina. If I do not complete these cross-references before we reach the Sylvane border, Duke Voran’s lawyers will find a loophole to hide the stolen mythril. The audit requires my undivided attention.”

Seraphina would pout, a masterclass in emotional manipulation. ”But... I want to see the jugglers.”

This was the cue for the Vanguard to strike.

Sir Lucas, Sir Boris, and Sir Gallahan would materialize at the carriage door almost out of thin air, practically vibrating with excitement, dressed in their casual off-duty tunics.

”Fear not, Your Grace!” Gallahan would announce cheerfully, stepping into the breach. ”The Vanguard stands ready! We shall escort the Lady Seraphina into the city! We will protect her, entertain her, and ensure she experiences the cultural bounties of the region!”

”We will buy her everything,” Boris added, a terrifying grin on his scarred face. ”We will even buy the jugglers if she wants them.”

Seraphina’s face would light up. ”Can I go, Papa? Please? I’ll be so good. I’ll squeeze Sir Gally’s hand tightly the whole time!”

Kaelus was trapped.

He couldn’t go.

But he also couldn’t bear to keep her locked in the box when she was looking at him with those pleading eyes.

”Fine,” Kaelus would grit out, his jaw clenching so hard it was audible.

The moment he agreed, a grueling, 40-point security briefing would commence.

”You will maintain a formation around her at all times,” Kaelus snarled at his elite commanders, leaning out the carriage door, his violet eyes glowing with lethal warnings. ”If the crowd density exceeds thirty persons per square radius, Boris will carry her on his shoulders to prevent trampling. You will not allow her to consume unpeeled fruit, unfiltered water, or any confection dyed a color that does not exist in nature.”

”Yes, Your Grace!” the knights barked, sweating profusely.

”Gallahan, if you allow her to purchase a pet, be it a dog, a cat, or a highly venomous lizard, I will feed you to Ruin,” Kaelus continued, listing his demands with the intensity of a man planning a siege. ”Lucas, if anyone looks at her for longer than three seconds, you have my full authorization to break their nose.”

”Understood, Your Grace!”

”And Seraphina,” Kaelus turned his terrifying gaze down to the child holding Gallahan’s hand. His voice instantly softened into a desperate, protective murmur. ”Do not let go of them. Do not wander. If you feel sick, tell them instantly.”

”I will, Papa! Bye-bye!” Seraphina waved cheerfully, already skipping away with her three bodyguards, completely unbothered.

For the next three hours, Kaelus von Nacht would experience the most soul-crushing phenomenon known to parenthood.

FOMO!

Fear Of Missing Out.

The terrifying Reaper of the North would sit at his desk, staring blankly at his ledgers, unable to read a single number and swelling with regret.

Every five minutes, he would pull the carriage curtain aside by a fraction of an inch, glaring out the window at the distant market square like a tragic, abandoned heroine watching her lover ride off to war.

’What are they doing?’ Kaelus would agonize, chewing on the end of his expensive quill until the feathers splintered. ’Are they buying her sugar? Is she laughing? I should be the one buying the sugar candies. Boris doesn’t even know which color of spun sugar she prefers. Gallahan will probably buy her something educational and ruin her afternoon.’

He was intensely, wildly jealous.

When the knights finally returned, hours later, Seraphina would burst into the carriage, her arms loaded with wooden toys, sticky pastries, and woven flower bracelets.

”Papa! Papa, look!” she would yell, dumping her loot onto his desk, completely covering his important documents. ”Sir Lucas won a throwing-knife game and got me a stuffed owl! And Sir Boris ate twelve sausages and made the merchant cry! It was so much fun!”

Kaelus would look at the stuffed owl.

He would look at the sticky pastries.

He would look at the beaming, happy face of his daughter.

And then he would shoot a glare of absolute, murderous envy over her head at the three knights standing in the doorway, silently promising them a slow death for daring to be fun uncles while he was stuck doing math.

Seraphina, who was aware of the dynamic, found it absolutely hilarious.

She loved the knights, but seeing the all-powerful Archduke pout like a neglected cat because he missed a puppet show was the highlight of her week.

She would deliberately bring him back half-eaten candies and regale him with exaggerated stories of their adventures just to watch his eye twitch.

She knew she was playing with fire, but she also knew Kaelus wouldn’t actually spank her.

The worst he would do was sigh dramatically and eat the slightly soggy pastry she offered him.

***

On the fourteenth day since leaving Oakhaven, the rolling green plains began to shift once more.

The air grew noticeably thicker, heavy with an oppressive, cloying humidity that clung to the skin.