System S.E.X. (Seduction, Expansion, eXecution)

Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Stats Check and Thoughts in the Park

Ethan walked back, carrying the bag with his hot dogs and drink, taking a deep breath as he felt, for the first time in hours, he could relax a little. He reached a nearby park and sat on a bench, watching people pass by. Families, joggers, dogs, kids—everything seemed calm and... normal.

”Well... at least I can enjoy a bit before the world blows my mind again,” he muttered, pulling a hot dog out of the bag.

[Mission update: hot food consumed. Mmm... mission complete, Einstein.]

Ethan smiled and, between bites, decided to try something he had learned with the system.

”Hey... can I check my stats again?”

[Of course, champ. Panel ready.]

A glow appeared in front of him, and the familiar panel unfolded:

• Technical Skill: 7/10

• Physical Condition: 0.5/10

• Social Intelligence: 0/10

• Confidence: moderate (someone’s no longer a virgin)

• Sex Appeal: 1/100

• Sexual Experience: Graduate of virginity

• Lux generated: 5.0

• Units linked: 1

Ethan frowned, thinking. ”You said I could modify stuff, right?”

[Sure... you can improve almost everything. But careful, I don’t want you ending up bigger than the bench you’re sitting on.]

Ethan laughed and tapped the Technical Skills option. A subpanel popped up showing more detailed categories:

Science: 0.6/1.0

Technology: 0.7/1.0

Math: 0.5/1.0

Mechanics: 0.9/1.0

Programming: 0.8/1.0

Fault Detection: 0.85/1.0

...

”Wow... I’m way better at mechanics and fault detection than math or science,” he muttered, touching the edge of his food bag. ”And electronic programming isn’t too bad... I guess that makes sense.”

[Bravo! Nothing like a little self-awareness, Einstein. But heads up, if you start thinking you’re a total genius, I’ll be here to knock you down a peg.]

Ethan shrugged, smiling as he looked at his hot dog and then at the dogs playing on the grass. ”At least now I know where I can trust myself... this’ll help me invent stuff and maybe stay alive through more problems.”

[See? Even I get excited about your progress. Now just don’t rest on your laurels... or the laurels will crush you.]

Ethan rolled his eyes, amused. ”Okay, okay... I need to figure out how to use all this. First, eat, then survive, then... conquer the world, I guess.”

[Ha... that’s what I like, long-term vision. But finish that hot dog first, champ. Don’t collapse from hunger while planning your empire.]

Ethan took a bite and sighed. For a moment—just a moment—everything felt simple: him, his food, the park... and a system that never stopped annoying him but at least made things more entertaining.

He frowned and tapped the Physical Condition section out of curiosity. A detailed diagram of his body appeared, with percentages and readings that made him step back a little:

Heart: 89%

Lungs: 92%

Liver: 60%

Kidneys: 56%

Muscles: 34%

Bones: 78%

Physical Endurance: 12%

Flexibility: 8%

Body Fat: 27%

Blood Creatinine: 1.1 mg/dL

Blood Glucose: 119 mg/dL

Urine Protein: 0.3 g/L

LDL Cholesterol: 140 mg/dL

...

Life Expectancy: 19/42 years

Ethan swallowed hard, feeling a chill run down his spine.

”What...? Why... is my life so... so bad?” he muttered, scanning the numbers, unable to process it all at once.

[Ohhh... champ, welcome to reality. Shitty lifestyle, extreme sedentary habits, zero exercise, zero care... and come on, you barely use your penis for anything but peeing. You’re on track for prostate cancer, FYI.]

”WHAT?! Wait... what are you saying!” Ethan shouted, red with indignation.

[Relax, Einstein. Just speaking the truth... and you... you don’t even masturbate properly. Three times a day minimum, champ, but you don’t even do that! Hahaha.]

Ethan put his hands on his head. ”WHAT?! Not even that?! Who designs these systems?”

[Me. And I’m honest. Welcome to real life, precocious genius. Don’t expect Lux points to revive already dead organs yet.]

Ethan took a deep breath, trying to calm down while the system continued making jokes about his health, bad habits, and how his body was paying the price.

[Come on, little Tesla. All of this is preventable... if you stopped being a sedentary nerd and started moving... and using your tools properly. Hahaha.]

Ethan rolled his eyes, feeling overwhelmed and a little intimidated, but also intrigued: now more than ever, he wanted to understand how he could improve these numbers and how much of his body he could ”modify” with Lux points.

As he kept scrolling through the massive list, he sighed, seeing things he couldn’t even pronounce.

Lab analyses, organ submenus, biochemical stats, even blood flow charts and brain activity readings.

”What the hell is all this? I don’t understand any of it...” he muttered, rubbing his eyes.

[Hahaha... sure, champ. This is advanced science, not a tutorial for preteens. But relax, you’re here to learn... your way.]

”Okay... if you can’t be more friendly, how am I supposed to know where to invest my Lux points?”

[Ohhh... good question, Einstein. Let’s make it interesting: let’s check your memories and past experiences.]

Ethan raised an eyebrow.

[Hmm... you’ve only played old MMORPGs. Perfect, we’ll do it RPG style. Check this out.]

A new panel appeared, with big letters and tiny bars:

STR: 0.1

DEX: 0.2

VIT: 0.3

WIS: 0.2

INT: 1.5

LUC: 0.1

Charm: 0.1

Ethan frowned as he read.

”Wait... let me see if I understand... STR is strength, DEX dexterity, VIT vitality, WIS wisdom, INT intelligence, LUC luck, and Charm... charm, right?”

[Exactly, champ. And yeah... everything’s below 1. A normal human would have 1 in each stat. You... well, let’s say you’re an experimental project with laughable stats. Happy Now?.]

Ethan crossed his arms and looked at the panel, trying to stay calm.

”Happy now? Because it feels like you’re making me look ridiculous in front of myself.”

[Hahaha... ohhh, I’m enjoying this way too much. But hey, this just means you have a ton of room to improve. Literally, EVERYTHING is upgradable. And with Lux, you can start changing your fate... if you survive the mental torture.]

Ethan put his hand on his chin, sighing as he processed the magnitude of what he was seeing.

”Alright... I think I get it. Everything’s below zero, so basically any investment will improve me... but you need to stop mocking me so much, or I’ll go insane before I even start.”

[Hahaha... I make no promises, little Tesla. But hey, at least now you know what each little point means and where to invest. Now the fun begins.]

Ethan rolled his eyes and muttered to himself, starting to mentally plan which points to improve first.