Surviving Zombies Was Easier Than Raising Beast Cubs

Chapter 8: Chapter 8: Is that infected?

She sat up slowly, forcing her voice to soften. ”No. I’m not being mean to you. I was being mean to my useless system.”

The three cubs blinked.

The second cub whispered, ”Sys... tem?”

”It is complicated.”

The eldest tilted his head. ”It hurt Mama?”

”Yes.”

The smallest immediately puffed up, his tiny fur rising all over his body. ”Bite it.”

Swanly nearly laughed.

Her lips twitched before she could stop them.

The smallest saw that tiny movement and froze, as if her almost-smile was a rare animal that might run away if he breathed too loudly.

Swanly’s heart suffered again.

She sighed and opened her arms.

”Come here.”

The cubs stared at her.

The eldest took one tiny step forward, then stopped.

The second pressed close to him.

The smallest did not move at all.

Swanly softened her voice further. ”I’m not going to throw you.”

The smallest’s ears trembled.

That hurt so much that Swanly almost hated the dead woman whose body she was wearing.

”I’m sorry I threw you before,” Swanly said. ”I really am. I woke up, you spoke, and my soul tried to escape through my mouth. That was not your fault.”

The smallest looked at her with huge wet eyes. ”Mama no throw?”

”No throw.”

The second cub whispered, ”Mama no shout?”

”I will probably shout again because apparently this world is insane, but I will try not to shout at you.”

The eldest stared at her. ”Mama stay?”

Swanly went quiet.

The word stay felt heavier than it should have.

She looked at their little faces, their tiny black ears, their soft bodies, their round golden eyes that held too much hurt for babies so small.

Then she sighed.

”Mama may be a bit crazy right now.”

The cubs blinked.

Swanly rubbed her forehead. ”Actually, Mama may be very crazy right now. Mama died, woke up in another world, became a snow fox beastwoman, discovered she has a mate, discovered she has three children, and then her system floated in front of her face and admitted it ruined everything.”

The cubs understood almost none of that.

But they understood one word.

The second cub’s head lifted slowly. ”Mama?”

The smallest cub’s eyes widened. ”You say Mama.”

The eldest’s little tail rose.

Swanly swallowed. ”Yes.”

The three cubs stared.

Swanly looked away for a second because their expressions were too much.

”I am your mama,” she said, quieter this time. ”I don’t know how to be one. I have never been one before. I never had children in my old life. I do not know how to feed you properly, or clean you, or teach you things, or stop you from licking my nose like little weirdos.”

The smallest cub opened his mouth.

Swanly pointed at him gently. ”Do not defend the nose licking.”

His mouth closed.

She continued, ”But I am here now. And if this body is your mother, then from now on, I will learn. I will act like your mother. I will try to be your mother. And I will not treat you like you are unwanted.”

For a long second, none of the cubs moved.

Then their faces changed.

The eldest cub’s serious expression cracked first. His little eyes widened until they looked like two gold beads dropped into black fur. His ears slowly lifted, one after the other, as if hope was climbing back into his body but did not trust the ground yet.

The second cub’s mouth opened slightly.

He looked so shocked that Swanly almost lost the battle against laughter. His tiny face was round with disbelief, and his tail gave one shy little wag before he tucked it under himself, as if embarrassed that his body had betrayed him.

The smallest cub looked at her as if she had just opened the sky.

His ears stood straight up.

His whiskers trembled.

His little paws kneaded the stone once, twice, like he was ready to run to her but afraid the invitation would disappear.

Swanly’s throat tightened.

They were so cute.

So painfully, unfairly cute.

She had survived infected monsters with torn faces and black teeth, but these three little black panther cubs were destroying her with their eyes.

”Come here,” she said again, softer.

The eldest moved first.

He stepped forward carefully, one paw at a time, still trying to act like he was not desperate. But the moment Swanly lowered her hand, his bravery collapsed. He rushed into her lap and pressed his face into her stomach.

The second followed him, small body trembling as he crawled against her thigh and tucked himself close.

The smallest hesitated longest.

His round eyes kept moving between her hands and her face.

Swanly waited.

She did not reach out and grab him.

She did not rush him.

She just opened her arms a little wider.

The smallest made a tiny broken sound and ran into her.

He hit her chest with a soft thump and immediately buried his face under her chin.

”Mama,” he whimpered.

Swanly’s arms closed around all three of them.

They were heavier than human babies would have been. Their little bodies were dense with muscle under the soft fluff, warm and solid against her. Before, she might have struggled to hold them all at once, but this body was not her old body. Now that she was calmer, she could feel it clearly.

She was stronger.

Her arms held them easily.

Her back did not ache under their weight.

Her hearing caught the waterfall, the drip of water inside the cave, the tiny breaths of the cubs, the faint rustle of their tails against the animal skin. She could even hear her own tail sweeping slowly behind her, thick and soft, brushing the ground as if it had opinions.

A snow fox beastwoman.

That was what this body was.

Her ears were soft and white, with faint silver at the tips. Her tail was long, fluffy, and pale as moonlight, far too pretty for someone who had spent the morning crying in a forest. Her body felt lighter, quicker, more flexible, and her senses were sharper than before.

In her old world, she had been a normal person trying very hard not to die.

Here, she was not normal at all.

Swanly looked down at the three cubs pressed against her.

Maybe that was good.

Maybe she would need every strange advantage this body gave her.

The smallest cub sniffled into her collarbone. ”Mama no leave?”

Swanly rubbed the top of his head with one finger. ”I will try very hard not to leave.”

The eldest lifted his head. ”Mama like us?”

Swanly looked at his serious little face and felt something inside her surrender completely.

”Yes,” she said. ”Mama likes you.”

The second cub whispered, ”Love?”

Swanly froze.

The word came too quickly.

Too trustingly.

Too hungry.

She looked at him, at his soft eyes and quiet little face, and wondered how many times he had wanted to ask that before and had not dared.

Her voice became gentler.

”Yes. Mama will love you.”

The three cubs froze.

Then all three of them made tiny sounds at once.

It was not a word.

It was not even a proper cry.

It was a soft, trembling burst of joy that came out of their little bodies before they knew how to hold it in.

The smallest climbed higher against her chest.

The eldest pushed under her arm.

The second rubbed his cheek against her hand so softly that Swanly had to blink fast.

They forgave too quickly.

That was the thought that struck her hardest.

They did not ask why she had been cruel before.

They did not demand promises.

They did not punish her.

The moment she gave them one piece of warmth, they crawled toward it with their whole hearts open.

Swanly lowered her face into their fur.

”I’m sorry,” she whispered, so quietly that the waterfall almost swallowed it. ”Whatever she did to you, I’m sorry.”

The cubs did not understand everything.

But they understood the sound of her voice.

They understood that her hands were gentle now.

They understood that her body was warm and that she had not pushed them away.

The smallest lifted his head and licked her chin.

Swanly pulled back at once. ”No licking.”

The smallest froze.

His face crumpled.

Swanly panicked. ”Wait, no, not because I hate you. I just mean no licking my mouth, my nose, or any part of my face without warning.”

The eldest looked serious. ”Where lick?”

Swanly stared at him.

The second cub looked deeply invested in the answer.

Swanly rubbed her forehead. ”Why are we negotiating licking rules?”

The smallest placed one tiny paw on her chest. ”Mama rules.”

”Yes, Mama rules.” Swanly nodded. ”Rule one. No licking noses. Rule two. No licking mouths. Rule three. If you want affection, you can rub your head on me like normal little cats.”

The eldest frowned. ”We not cats.”

Swanly paused.

The second cub nodded. ”Panther.”

The smallest puffed up. ”Big panther soon.”

Swanly looked at the smallest cub, who was smaller than a pillow, and pressed her lips together.

He glared at her with wounded pride.

She failed.

A laugh slipped out.

It was small at first, then warmer.

The cubs froze.

All three stared at her as if they had never heard that sound from her before.

Swanly noticed.

Her laughter softened.

”What?” she asked.

The eldest’s ears lifted. ”Mama laugh.”

The second whispered, ”Pretty laugh.”

The smallest beamed. ”Mama happy?”

Swanly felt her heart become a useless puddle.

”Yes,” she said, pulling them closer. ”Mama is happy because you three are ridiculous.”

The smallest wriggled in delight.

The eldest tried to climb up her shoulder.

The second quietly attacked her tail.

Swanly yelped when she felt a tiny paw patting her fluffy white tail.

”Hey! Leave my tail alone!”

The second cub looked up with wide innocent eyes, one paw still sunk in the fur. ”Soft.”

The smallest immediately gasped. ”Mama tail soft?”

”No.”

All three cubs looked at the tail.

Swanly narrowed her eyes. ”Do not.”

Three tiny bodies pounced at once.

Swanly shrieked and fell backward onto the animal skins as the cubs climbed over her, batting at her tail, tumbling over each other, making tiny happy sounds that filled the cave with warmth. The eldest tried to catch the tail tip with both paws. The second rolled onto his back and kicked the air with his little hind legs. The smallest missed completely and landed on Swanly’s stomach with a soft oof.

Swanly laughed again despite herself.

”Get off, you tiny criminals! This is my tail! I just got it today!”

The smallest chirped, ”Mama tail toy!”

”It is attached to me!”

The eldest caught the tail tip for half a second, then lost it when it flicked away on instinct.

He stared at it in betrayal.

Swanly laughed harder.

For a few minutes, she forgot the infected creatures.

She forgot the dead world behind her.

She forgot the system’s guilty face.

She forgot the mating mark burning faintly against her ribs.

She only knew the weight of three cubs rolling over her, their tiny paws pressing into her dress, their warm bodies bumping against her sides, their happy little voices calling Mama as if the word itself tasted sweet.

She did not notice Kael enter the cave.

The waterfall had hidden the first sound of him.

But not the second.

A faint scrape of claws against stone reached her ears.

Her new ears twitched before her mind caught up.

Swanly froze mid-laugh.

The cubs froze too, still tangled around her tail.

She turned her head.

Kael stood near the cave entrance, water dripping from his black hair and bare shoulders.