Spirit Realm Walker

In the stands, a black mass of heads were packed tightly together, none of them making a sound. Every pair of eyes were on the projection, focused on the back of a man taking a leak in front of everyone. Faces had gone stiff, gone slack, and eyes had gone wide, almost as if all their brains had stalled.

When Yuanshi Tianzun had first pulled down his Yin corpse’s pants, the whole place had exploded like a hornet’s nest that had been kicked. But before things had been allowed to settle, the man had gone on to relieve himself right there, in the open.

How could someone even do that? Not only that, but he was Yuanshi Tianzun, the official face of the Five Elements Alliance’s Transcendent tier. There were countless eyes on him. How could he just answer nature’s call like that without batting an eyelid? Did he have no shame? Did those who called themselves officials have no shame?

But then he reported himself, and the spirit in the sky smote him with its punishment. The same thought went through everyone’s minds at that point: I have never seen that before in my life.

”What the hell? You can do that?!” somebody yelled, giving voice to the sentiment that was on everyone’s minds, and the silence shattered.

”If I read that right, he just felt out a whole stack of rules in one go. Reporting the corpse was a failure, but reporting himself worked. The bait-and-report trick works. That’s monstrous. That’s how a top-tier brain moves.”

”Insane, genuinely insane. Of the top eight, only Yuanshi Tianzun cracked the rules behind the reporting mechanic. That’s the gap right there. A guy who’s cleared an S-rank dungeon is just built differently.”

”This all puts it in perspective, doesn’t it. It’s obvious now, the difference between World Ablaze and Yuanshi Tianzun. World Ablaze is a big fish when it comes to your average Walkers, sure, but place him next to the real elites, and the gap is massive.”

”How is this man wired? How could he think of testing the rules like that? I’ve got nothing. Yuanshi Tianzun is exactly who you think he is.”

World Ablaze had made a real name for himself when it came to clearing dungeons, and it was further enhanced because he was a Fire Sage. Everyone had an inkling that Yuanshi Tianzun outclassed World Ablaze before this incident, although nobody had a clear idea as to how much.

Yuanshi Tianzun had flown solo in the first round as the suspect, with no room for World Ablaze to demonstrate his prowess. But they were on equal footing in this second round, both facing the same rules and in the exact same spot, and Yuanshi Tianzun had shaken loose a fistful of rules in a few minutes flat.

”Pfft. He’s got the nerve to whip it out in the open like that. I won’t so much as blink, swear on it.”

”This is so sad. Elder, Elder, can you swing the camera around? We want the full three-sixty view.”

”Yes! Yes! We’re very curious about Yuanshi Tianzun’s, ah, specs.”

The prim and proper girls squirmed in their seats, faces flushed, while the open-minded ladies went pink to the ears and hollered for a better look. This was Yuanshi Tianzun, after all.

Xie Lingxi was furiously fighting to wrench herself free of her mother’s arms. ”Mom, Mom! If you put your hand over my eyes one more time, I’m going to lose it…”

Mama Xie held her daughter down in a tight, smothering hug while she stretched her own neck out to stare hard at the projection, disappointment all over her face.

”You can’t see a single thing. How boring. Baby, you’re not grown up yet. Mommy’s protecting you.”

Xie Lingxi didn’t know whether to be sorry or glad—sorry to lose her one chance to see Bro Yuanshi’s measurements, but glad that shameless little tarts like her mother, and all the rest of the shameless little tarts out there, hadn’t gotten an eyeful either.

Off to the side, Queen leaned in close to Guan Ya’s ear and said quietly, ”I just thought of what we caught sight of back in Yin Yang Town. That’s really stuck with me.”

Guan Ya gave a soft snort. ”Right? Out of all those little caterpillars, his had the most heft to it.”

Queen sighed mournfully. ”It’s a shame he’s tucked it away so well this round. There’s nothing to see.”

Guan Ya shot her a look. ”You’ve had your one look. How many more are you after? Are you trying to sleep with him?”

Fu Qingyang caught the two women murmuring, and his mouth pulled itself into a frown. Had her one look already?

He seriously considered whether or not to boot Yuanshi Tianzun out of the White Tiger Guard. The Walkers in the stands were estimated to be eighty percent of the whole official roster. There was no question as to how far and how quickly news of this incident would travel. It was easy enough to picture how Yuanshi Tianzun’s little performance would be all over both the Five Elements Alliance and the Taiyi Sect by that night. The White Tiger Guard could not have someone with a tarnished name in its ranks.

Somewhere in the stands, Bill Tarantino turned his head toward Annie. The woman’s blue eyes were wide open, disappointment written plainly across her face. Just a  moment ago, when Yuanshi Tianzun had worked his zipper down, her eyes, already glued to the projection, had nearly popped their sockets.

Just as let down was Zhu Rong. She didn’t pick her men based on their faces alone—there was a fuller appraisal to run. Yuanshi Tianzun was the quarry she’d set her heart on, so naturally she’d wanted to get to know more about the rest of him.

The look on her face didn’t get past her young companion. The pretty-featured boy gave an inward little sneer. It’s probably a wee little earthworm anyway.

Down in the elders’ row, the whole lot of them had gone quiet. After a long stretch of awkward silence, the armored White Tiger Legion elder forced out some praise.

”I won’t comment about how this looks. But Yuanshi Tianzun thinks along strange lines, and is ready to give up a great deal just to feel out the rules. His approach is worth a nod.”

”This child really is something…”

”Say what you like, but this is the Tournament. He ought to mind the optics.”

”He knew how to turn his back, at least. That’s something. Then again, the Chiefs built the projection, and  it’s out of our hands. If Yuanshi Tianzun reviews it…”

”Well… Our fine young ones, Fu Qingyang, Jiang Ju, Fengdu Ghost King, they all care about their image. Yuanshi Tianzun seems to operate differently.”

”This is nothing,” said a curly-haired poodle. ”You lot have never seen him drop to the ground and kowtow.”

Elder Sun spoke over them, his voice sour. ”He gained something, and that’s the whole of it. What’s all the fuss for? This Yuanshi brat’s got a few tricks in him.”

”So you’re admitting that you were confused?” the Water God Palace elder said coldly.

”You…” Elder Sun had no comeback, and something in his chest went sour.

Clearly the rumours had reached the elders as well.

***

Back in the ruined city, Zhang Yuanqing was weighing up the information he’d gleaned. 

The rules were simple and easy enough to follow. Once he chose to act, the others would see it too. Hence he had to save it for when it truly mattered. Sure he could flash the crowd and report a rival, but the rival would report him right back, and they would be trading blow for blow. However, trading worked in his favor, given his point advantage. Except…

This was being broadcast live, with a mountain of eyes watching. He was used to public embarrassment since young, grinding out cringe dances alongside his uncle, and though he didn’t think much about it, there was still the fallout to consider. He would have to put his yin corpse to good use, and only perform on his own if there was no other option.

Besides, if public urination was a reportable offence, then spitting openly would probably be one as well.

The core of the Great Reporting Era comprises two things: trumped-up charges and holier-than-thou attitudes. There’s no need to bait anybody into anything. Nobody’s a saint who never puts a foot wrong. Whoever swears, or whoever strays just a hair out of line, I’ll just hammer in a report, and it will land every time.

With that, he commanded his yin corpse to follow and started a loose sweep of the area, searching for his rivals. Given his current strength, he was sure he could overcome anybody outside the top three inside three minutes if he played all his cards.

For the other competitors, the plan was clear. One, find a partner. Two, find the armor pieces. Three, work somebody into a slip and report it.

For Zhang Yuanqing, the first step of the plan could be dispensed with, or at least it wasn’t the first thing on the list. He was at the top of the board, which made him public enemy number one. Therefore, his best play was to knock out his rivals quickly and thin out the danger.

The sky looked grim, packed with heavy, lead-gray clouds. The wind combing through the ruins and stirring the green weeds in between the broken stone had a cold, damp bite to it.

The city had sat empty for a good while. Along both sides of the main road, the paving slabs lay drowned under a skin of black silt. Only the center of the road, which was raised in a small hump, had managed to fight clear of it, a stubborn line of stone seams peeking through the black dirt.

Zhang Yuanqing stayed fifty meters behind his yin corpse, letting Corpse No. 1 parade out in front while he himself worked slowly from broken wall to broken wall, ruin to ruin, trailing quietly while keeping himself tucked out of sight.

Ten-odd minutes had gone by, and he’d barely passed a single intact building. There was nothing but caved-in walls, cobwebs and dust. The whole place had fallen apart and been picked clean. Brick-and-timber houses were the first thing that time chewed through.

After about half an hour, he commanded his yin corpse to stop. They holed up in a dead house and waited. A few minutes later, a burst of radiance shot up the sky, straight into the clouds, causing the murky heavens to churn.

That’s not far away. Two hundred meters or so.

His eyes sharpened into focus as he commanded the yin corpse toward the glow at once, trailing well behind.

Before long, through the corpse’s eyes, he saw a long-collapsed segment of inner-city wall. Just beyond the ruined gatehouse, a dark, heavy breastplate hung in the air. The pillar of light was shooting up and out of the breastplate. He directed his yin corpse through the ruins to grab it.

Whump!

Just as it closed to within ten meters of the plate armor, a massive fireball shot towards it. There was no dodging it. The corpse crossed both arms over its chest. The fireball exploded against it, sending flame rolling out in sheets and blowing out a cloud of dust from the ground.

A figure emerged from within the flames, tall and athletic, with the build and the eyes of a bruiser.

Fire Walk!

World Ablaze hung in the air, palm open. The scattered flames around him were drawn in, moving as though they were alive, gathering quickly into a second fireball.

He dropped down to the ground and pressed his flame-drenched palm onto the yin corpse’s chest. The blast wave shoved the two of them apart, and World Ablazed used that force to fly towards the breastplate.

Bang! Bang!

Gunfire rang out from behind him, and two dark-red streaks flashed by.

World Ablaze didn’t bother to duck. A Level 3 Fire Sage had strong fire resistance. Yuanshi Tianzun’s pistol would at most inflict a minor wound. Landing the breastplate in exchange for a scratch or two was worth it.

Ding! Ding!

The sharp piercing sound of metal hitting metal rang out, accompanied by a shower of sparks, and the floating breastplate was knocked away and sent spinning through the air.

Zhang Yuanqing hadn’t been shooting at the man. He’d been shooting at the item. The second it went tumbling, he entered Night Wandering, making a break for the item as he ordered his yin corpse to attack.

A low bestial growl came up out of Corpse No. 1’s ruined throat. It crouched, sprinted forward, then leapt three meters into the air and threw itself down at World Ablaze.

With a shadow looming over him, World Ablaze’s muscle bulged, and fire ignited across his skin. He sank low, right hand to the dirt, and drove his right leg up in a vicious kick.

Corpse No. 1 ate the kick full-on without blocking. It showed no notion of pain, grabbing the leg around the knee with both hands.

While the two of them grappled, Zhang Yuanqing reached for the breastplate, which had landed in a heap of loose stone. Just as he bent down for it, he heard a sweet voice.

”Handsome man over there, look this way, this way, over here~ The show over here’s the good one~”

Something within him stirred that was not a part of him. He was immediately drawn to the singing woman, and the breastplate under his hand lost its shine. He turned his head toward her, his body now fully out of his control.

A dozen meters off, a hazy, lush figure rolled her body through a scorchingly sensual dance as she belted out a sweet tune. It was a female spirit, but the scent of it was muddied with that of another class.

Across the street from him, World Ablaze hadn’t managed to fight off the pull either. He turned to look, and took a hard blow from Corpse No. 1 for his troubles.

Is this the Music Slave? Tone Deaf’s item? Zhang Yuanqing bit down hard on his tongue, using the pain to jolt his head clear and tear loose of the Musician’s hold.

When he looked down, the breastplate was gone. A hazy shape was holding it up high and running quickly toward a half-standing run of wall in the distance. A soft-faced young man stepped out from behind the wall, his left hand loaded with bracelets of every color, a pitch-black bamboo flute in the grip.

He took the breastplate the Music Slave offered up with his other hand and shouted to World Ablaze, ”Got it!”

World Ablaze grunted. ”Good. Execute the plan. Pin Yuanshi Tianzun down.”

The Fire Sage sprang back away from Corpse No. 1’s swing, took a deep breath, and roared, ”Yuanshi Tianzun’s over here!”

The shout rolled out long across the ruins.

”Fuck!” Zhang Yuanqing cursed before he could stop himself.

The other contestants had surely been drawn in by the pillar of light. They had to be close by and sprinting all out to snatch the breastplate. Meanwhile, that one bellow from World Ablaze could well make things go sour, causing him to run into a nearby ambush if he took too long.

His way out was blocked. He had to move immediately. He recalled Corpse No. 1, attempting to escape with Night Wandering.

Seeing this, World Ablaze lit up from head to foot and shot toward the corpse like a blazing meteor, stalling for all he was worth.

The voluptuous Music Slave rolled her body again, back into the scorching hot dance, that lovely voice lifting. ”Handsome man over there, look this way, this way, over here~”

Zhang Yuanqing’s mind threatened to rebel as the song’s haunting tune washed over him yet again, but this time he’d already bitten his tongue bloody, using the pain to hold off part of the pull.

He then brought the muzzle of his pistol up, lined it up with Tone Deaf, and squeezed the trigger. Tone Deaf ducked behind the wall as the rounds blew deep pits in the stone.

Being controlled by a support’s abilities is a real pain. If only I could run the Demon-subduing Awl to cleanse it. 

Zhang Yuanqing changed plans fast, leaving Tone Deaf alone as he activated Night Wandering and attacked World Ablaze. There was no grinding it out. He had to team up with his yin corpse to beat this smart Fire Sage back, then leave with it.

When Yuanshi Tianzun disappeared out of sight, Tone Deaf reflexively put up his guard.

”Stay on the flute! I’m his target!” yelled World Ablaze.

The Fire Sage took a straight jab from Corpse No. 1 to the body and was knocked backwards. Tone Deaf didn’t tarry, putting the flute to his lips. He blew a soft, mournful tune that drove into the soul like a steel pin, causing splitting pain behind the eyes.

You want to trade blows with me? Zhang Yuanqing thought to himself as he was forced out of Night Wandering. He clamped one hand to his skull and ordered his yin corpse to retreat with his remaining mental energy.

Corpse No. 1 broke off its hunt of the Fire Sage and wheeled about into a dead run.

Suddenly a fresh green vine whipped out across its path and caught its ankle like a tentacle.

The corpse ripped free of it by sheer strength alone, but more vines kept boiling up out of the ground, wrapping about ankle, leg, neck, wrist. Dozens of tendrils snapped taut, hauling against the yin corpse.

Amid the wild sprawl of green stood Green Pine, his hands behind his back.

More figures were closing in. Zhao Chenghuang with his own yin corpse, Yuan Ting, and Earth God in his leather outfit.

Everyone but Sun Miaomiao, who was farthest away, had made it. There were six of them, surrounding Yuanshi Tianzun.