Saintess Summons Skeletons

“You really taught yourself all that only with the things in your domain?” Sofia asked.

“Yes. The previous Speed had been orchestrating this for his successor, I believe. I still have no idea why he would have ended himself, but things were prepared for me to have an easy start, no doubt. After going through the entire bookshelf it was only a matter of time before I grew bored of the domain and started to try to look outside…”

“Did you even know how to leave? I got stranded inside of Peace’s domain once, and I really had no idea how to leave.”

“You got… Peace? That couldn’t have ended well…”

Sofia chewed a bit on the piece of meat she had just forked into her mouth, and swallowed it before answering, “He just erased me from the neck down when he ejected me out of there. I’ve survived much worse.”

“Ahah, just from the neck down… I’m starting to doubt who’s the god and who’s from the mortal race here…” Speed commented, scratching his horn.

Sofia’s fork stabbed another piece of meat, she absent-mindedly waved it in front of her mouth as she answered. “The distinction is a bit strange to begin with, since the divinities can also die. I used to think gods were like… Well… Gods… But there’s no such thing as someone who can do or survive anything, I’ve come to learn. Everyone’s got their limits. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel any pressure anymore talking to you or Dragons or anyone, it’s all kind of just… People?” she concluded, finally sticking the fork in her mouth.

“Yeah, fair. I grew up surrounded by ‘mortals’ and gods living together as well, so I get that. We’re just born and die differently, is the gist of it. What’s in the middle is entirely what you make of it. Still though, I had yet to meet someone who seems so dismissive about their potential death.”

Sofia stopped chewing, she swallowed outright to answer, “You got me wrong. It’s not as if I’m not scared of death or anything like that. Not at all, actually. I’ve lived through a death a bit more real than usual lately, and it’s been… Terrifying to even remember. I just… Quite confident in my eventual survival? It’s like… I’ll do anything to survive in the end. I care about the future. No point in staying stuck in the past.”

“That’s quite the way to see things… You sound a bit like my father.”

“Your father?” Sofia repeated, utterly confused.

“Adoptive, kind of. Circling back to your earlier question; no, I did not know how to leave. Not for the physical plane, anyway. But I was able to move around and explore the domain of other gods. That’s not the easiest thing to do but I am Speed, after all, so there are rules that apply differently for me. Anyway, I eventually burst into Water’s domain, and if you know anything about Water, he’s not the kind to let his things unguarded. So I got caught, and one thing leading to another, I started living here in the physical plane with him and his wife. That’s why I look like I do, in fact, since lady Enya is a vampire…”

“Oh wow. Your family history is actually almost as mind-boggling as mine.”

“Almost? Just how messy was your childhood? And actually, what are you, even? Your sister looked human but…”

Sofia laughed. “You accepted a date without even knowing that?”

“Yeah? What? You look good, you’re quite strong, and you sound crazy enough to actually try to date a god seriously, do you think I get that kind of opportunity every day?”

“Pfft, I’m sure if you took off that mask more often you would have plenty of young ladies running after you.”

Speed sighed at that remark. “I know that, but what good could it do to mingle with young humans, vampires or andarians? I know I’m destined to outlive most of them, I would rather stay alone than give a poor girl an unfulfilling life without children as she grows older and dies while I’m stuck just – existing forever.”

“But with me it’s fine?”

“Looking at your age and your level, if you were initially a human like your sister, then at least I don’t have to worry about outliving you. Though I’m getting the feeling that you will not be dying of old age anyway…”

“Well… Yeah that sounds about right. I kind of do want children though? Like, probably at least one, eventually?”

Stolen novel; please report.

Speed seemed a little taken aback by that revelation, “A- And you have been recklessly leveling all the way up to a mana heart despite that? Do you know…”

“I am well aware… But if Dragons can still reproduce then I don’t see why I couldn’t. Creation even designed the race with that in mind, so it should work fine even after I continue to level. Probably.”

“Hmmm… I might not be a suitable suitor for you, then,” Speed admitted, finally taking another bite of his food.

“Why, do you dislike kids? You didn’t seem like the type…”

“Have you forgotten that I am god?” Speed asked, incredulous, “I cannot have kids. Not with you, nor with anyone else, for that matter.”

This conversation was starting to draw images in Sofia’s imagination that made her blush even though she lacked proper blood. She was also starting to wonder whether this was really an appropriate conversation for a first date, as it felt a bit embarrassing to discuss these things with someone who was by all accounts still just an acquaintance.

Speed must have misinterpreted Sofia’s silence and expression, however, as he set his cutlery down on the table with another sigh, “I knew this wouldn’t work, I don’t know what I was thinking,” he started to stand up, “I’ll just go pay, you can take your ti-”

Sofia reached over the table, grabbing his wrist before he could leave.

“Wh- Why are you leaving?”

“Huh? I thought…”

“You thought what? Get your godly ass back down on this chair. This meat is way too good to waste, first of all, and also, I’m not about to get abandoned halfway through my first date! Is it just because of the kids thing?”

Speed looked truly flabbergasted, but he sat back down without a word.

“So it’s not a dealbreaker?” he finally asked while Sofia stuffed her mouth.

Sofia looked puzzled at this god’s incomprehension. She answered with her mouth full, way past the point of caring for the basic decorum, “Of course not, I mean, it’s a bit of an issue but that doesn’t mean it’s like…” finding it difficult to articulate, she swallowed and took a second to measure her next words. “What I meant to say is, it’s probably not as impossible as you think. Just because it hasn’t been done before doesn’t mean it cannot happen, and also, I was the one who asked a god on a date, do you think I would then reject you because of that? Please, I am not that petty.”

“That… Is surprising. I have to say… I wish I could share your enthusiasm, though.” With a dark expression, he continued, “At best I could create a demigod but that is hardly an actual offspring unless you bear another man’s-”

Sofia dropped her fork. “Eww. What? I didn’t mean like that! That’s horrendous! The sheer implications of this! Would anyone even be happy with such an arrangement? Even forgetting about what that would mean for all the people involved, just imagine being that child. I don’t want to be that kind of mother.”

“Sorry… I really don’t like the sound of it either, but the children of gods just aren’t a thing, if not that… Even with a physical form like this… There is a reason most gods end up living out their eternity alone,” Speed concluded, sounding resigned. He at least looked like he agreed with Sofia, and he started eating again.

“... We should probably drop that subject for now. We’re not… We barely know each other, anyway,” Sofia said, “If this conversation ever needs to happen again, it can wait.”

“True that,” Speed agreed, visibly instantly relaxing, “It was a good thing to mention, though, I think. At least we know where we stand.”

“Right… There’s a lot more to be said about a lot of other things if we ever were to try taking this any further. But well. Maybe we should start by getting to know each other on a simpler level first… We skipped a lot of steps, I think…”

“That we did… I hope you like the place I chose? So at least I’d have gotten one step correct.”

“Oh yeah. The food is great, are you kidding? If you’re not finishing your plate I’ll be stealing what’s left, and no god in this world can stop me,” Sofia warned him, the meat in Speed’s plate starting to slowly rise up as Sofia controlled its bone to shift closer to her side of the table.

“What?! You’re crazy, I’m eating it all, I’m the one paying for it, you know?!” Speed answered, pulling back his plate with his fork planted into the meat.

“Heh, I’m not the one who tried to leave in the middle of the meal. You’ll learn that one cannot just leave grilled meat unprotected around me, I almost got the specialization of grill master, I’ll have you know,” Sofia bantered with a giggle as she let go of her control over the meat’s bones in Speed’s plate.

“You could have been a grill-master and instead you’ve become a necro-monster? I’m not one to judge but you’ve made some really raw career choices.”

“Hey hey, it’s Saintomancer not necro-monster, my class name is bad enough as it is, no need to butcher it.”

Speed smirked, pointing his fork at Sofia, “Oh, far from me the idea of mocking it, it certainly sounds like a rare class.”

Sofia leaned back, crossing her arms with a sly grin. “At least I live up to the name, unlike Mr.slow-roasted over here with his plate still half full.”

Speed rolled his eyes, jabbing at his plate with his fork. “Oh, you’re one to talk, Miss Bone Grabber. If you’re going to respect the names, the dish is meat on the bone, not bone in the bag,” he said, insistently looking at Sofia’s storage ring.

Sofia gasped in mock outrage. “How dare you! I’m no petty bone thief, I’ll have you skewered for these boneless accusations!”