Roommates With Benefits [BL]

For what felt like forever, I was frozen. Sitting there with photos sprawled across my lap, I stared at them, hoping that if I looked hard enough, I could somehow twist what I was seeing into something less awful.

But no luck there. The same universe that seemed determined to make me suffer was still at it.

I picked up one photo, my hands shaking, then another, my eyes flitting over each image without really taking anything in.

There was a shot of Damien and me leaving the campus together. His hand was on my back. I was laughing at whatever joke he’d made.

Another one showed us outside the dorm, standing so close that it was clear what we meant to each other.

These weren’t just random photos. No way someone just happened to snap these while walking by. Someone had been watching us. They had followed us on purpose. They waited for moments when we were at ease, forgetting that the rest of the world even existed. And somehow, those pictures found their way to Melanie.

I slowly lifted my gaze. She was next to me, hands clasped tightly in her lap, tears streaming down her cheeks.

”Where did you get these?”

My voice sounded strange, quieter than I expected. But there was a sharpness there that made Melanie flinch.

She wiped her cheek, ”I...”

”Where did you get them, Melanie?”

Her eyes dropped. ”I swear I didn’t mean any harm.”

”That’s not what I asked.”

”I know.”

”Then tell me.”

Her breathing quickened. ”I got them from Jeremy.”

The name hit me like a brick, and for a second, I thought I must have misheard her.

”Jeremy?”

She nodded, I stared at her. Then I glanced back at the photos.

Jeremy. Of all people, he was the last name I would’ve expected to hear.

Images of him popped into my head...him sitting across from me during our tutoring sessions, pretending to understand the assignment while mostly complaining about unfair professors and flirting with me on the side.

Jeremy, who had asked for my help.

The one who joked with me. The guy who smiled at me like he was just another student needing a little boost to keep his grades alive.

Jeremy...I let out a quiet, humorless laugh. ”You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Melanie shook her head. ”I wish I was.”

I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to organize my thoughts. ”Start from the beginning.”

She swallowed hard. ”Oliver...”

”Please.”

I fixed my gaze on her. ”I need you to tell me everything.”

She hesitated, then nodded. ”It started a while ago.”

”How long?”

”A more than a couple months ago.”

Something twisted in my chest. I stared at her, shocked.

”And you didn’t think it was important to mention that someone was giving you photos of me and Damien?”

”I was scared.”

”You were scared?”

My voice rose slightly, but I reined it back in. ”You were scared while I was walking around campus with someone secretly taking pictures of us?”

”I’m sorry.”

I shook my head..”Stop saying you’re sorry. Just tell me what happened.”

She took a shaky breath. ”Jeremy approached me first.”

I leaned back against the bench, staring at the ground.

”He asked if I wanted to help him with something.”

”What kind of something?”

”He said he knew you, that you had been tutoring him.”

”Yes.”

She nodded. ”At first, it didn’t seem odd. Then he started asking questions about you.”

My stomach knotted. ”What kind of questions?”

”Whether you were seeing Damien. Whether you were happy. Where you spent your time. Things like that.”

I stared at her. ”And you answered him?”

She looked ashamed. ”At first, yes.”

I let out a breathy laugh. ”Great.”

”I had no idea what he was planning.”

”What did he say to you?”

”He claimed he could help me get you back.”

I froze, a long silence hung between us.

”Excuse me?”

Melanie’s eyes brimmed with fresh tears.

”He told me you didn’t really love Damien, that you were only with him because of everything that happened, and eventually, you’d realize you still had feelings for me.”

I stared at her, incredulous. ”That’s what he told you?”

She nodded.

”And you believed him?”

”I wanted to.”

That hit harder than I expected, she looked away.

”He approached me first. But I said no, but after Trevor, I felt... worthless. Stupid. I thought I’d messed everything up, then I saw you with Damien.”

Her voice trembled. ”Y...you looked so happy.”

I didn’t respond.

”You were laughing,” she continued quietly. ”You looked at him differently.”

I swallowed hard, Melanie wiped her cheeks. ”I had never seen you look at me or anyone else like that.”

I didn’t know how to react. Because she was right. Maybe that was the worst part.

I recalled how I used to look at Damien before I admitted my feelings, how I searched for him in any crowded room and how his presence could calm me when everything else seemed chaotic. I had started thinking about him without even realizing it.

For so long, I insisted whatever was between us was just complicated. Yet apparently, everyone else saw it before I did.

”I was jealous,” Melanie whispered.

I looked at her.

”I was angry, and I blamed him.”

”Damien?”

She nodded. ”I thought he had taken you away from me.”

I briefly closed my eyes, she shook her head quickly.

”I know how foolish that sounds now.”

”It sounds worse than foolish.”

She winced.

”I know.”

I glanced at the envelope.

”So Jeremy convinced you to help him.”

”Yes.”

”Help him do what?”

She hesitated.

”Get photographs.”

My jaw clenched.

”He asked me to tell him where you and Damien would be.”

I looked at her sharply.

”And you did?”

She nodded miserably. ”Sometimes.”

”Sometimes?”

”I didn’t think he would hurt you.”

”You gave someone information about where we were.”

”I know.”

”You knew he was taking photos.”

”I didn’t know what he was going to do with them.”

I stared her down.

”Then what exactly did you think the plan was?”

She looked at her hands.

”He told me he only wanted enough to scare Damien away from you.”

I let out a disbelieving laugh.

”Scare him away?”

”He said if Damien thought the photos would go public, he’d leave you to protect his family.”

My chest tightened. ”And you thought that was okay?!”

”No.”

Her response was immediate this time.

”I don’t think it was okay now. I didn’t know it would turn into blackmail. I didn’t know about the inheritance or the Lockwoods or any of the rest of it. I thought it would just make you fight and split up. That’s all. I know how stupid that sounds now. I know.”

I repeated the words slowly.

”That’s the issue, Melanie. You thought it was alright before you realized what was going on. You thought it was okay when you were helping him.”

She lowered her head.

”I know.”

I looked away. The anger inside me was boiling, but deep down, something else was lurking. Something worse. Betrayal.

Because Jeremy hadn’t just been some random guy. I’d let him into my life.

I’d spent hours tutoring him, helping him with assignments while he grumbled about how tough his classes were and humoured his little crush on me, feeling bad that he liked someone who didn’t like him back. I thought he was harmless.

”Jesus Christ.”

I sat down hard on the edge of the bench because my legs decided they were done supporting the weight of this conversation.

The wood was freezing through my jeans. I picked up one of the photos again and stared at it. Damien’s face was half-turned toward the camera, soft in a way he almost never let other people see.

My own expression in the picture made my stomach twist. I had looked at him like he was the only solid thing in the room. Apparently Melanie had seen that too.

‎

‎”You helped Jeremy,” I said slowly, trying to keep my voice level. It wasn’t working very well. ”You fucking helped him take pictures of us. Private pictures, Melanie. And then those pictures got used to blackmail Damien’s family. Do you understand what that actually did? He lost his inheritance. His parents came after him...after both of us. The stress has been constant, with my dad getting surgery in the hospital as well. Everything has been falling apart for months and you were part of the reason it started.”

‎

‎Melanie flinched like I’d raised my voice, even though I hadn’t. I was too tired to yell.

The anger was there, sharp and heavy, but it sat under a thick layer of exhaustion and the surreal urge to keep laughing at how absurd the whole thing was.

‎

‎”I know,” she whispered. ”I know I was wrong. I can’t live with it anymore. T...that’s why I brought these. I wanted you to know. I wanted to stop pretending.”

‎

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