Rising Shards

”Did you tell her we live some...life of luxury or something?” Stella asked.

”I didn’t say much at all about you,” Octa said.

”Of course not, why would you say anything about her sisters? Nothing to dissuade her from showing up at our house screaming about how much she hates us for how good we have it or whatever?” Stella asked.

”I can’t control what she does,” Octa said. ”She’s old enough to make her own decisions...brash as they may be at times.”

I had a big problem. I was along for moral support for Zeta as she and Stella met with their mom. It was really tense and awkward and confusing, and I could tell with each question Zeta was getting more nervous, and Stella was getting angrier. Those were big enough problems on their own, and I held myself in a very tense manner. I could feel a headache coming on from having my shoulders stiff and my jaw clenched.

”Do we have any other siblings?” Stella asked.

”I didn’t give birth to anyone but you three,” Octa said.

”Doesn’t exactly answer my question,” Stella said.

I tried to pay attention, but my tight muscles started to make me anxious, too. In times like this, I try to think about something that can take me away from it, like a walk in nature, or thinking about how cute Zeta is. The latter worked especially well if I was stressed in class, like taking a difficult test. A couple passing glances over at my girlfriend, maybe more than just a passing one, and I start to deescalate from the big worries.

So the big problem: My stupid brain thought now was a great time to stare at Zeta in the middle of all this. I kept glancing over at her hips. She didn’t notice, but her shirt was slightly pulled up by the arm rest of her chair. It was just a small bit of skin that only I could see sitting at her right, but I kept looking.

Stupid brain! Seriously, now of all times? Yes, Zeta’s hips are amazing, but this is a serious talk! She’s gonna be mad!

As I thought that, all the times the two of us got worried that being attracted to each other would somehow be a deal breaker popped into my head.

OK, maybe she wouldn’t be mad. But it is kind of weird to be ogling her while all this is going on, right? I’m a jerk, right?

I didn’t really have a good answer, and I probably missed something important, but I did manage to ward off some kind of anxiety attack during this.

”Speaking of Anastasia, she has a girlfriend, right?” Stella asked. ”I heard that from Zeta.”

That rattled me out of my staring, as Zeta slumped down in her chair at that, like she was trying to make herself seem smaller as a defense mechanism.

Octa squinted. ”Last I heard, yes. What of it?”

”I just think it’s real rich that you’re apparently fine with Anastasia being a lesbian, but when I come out it’s all, ’The sacred nature of Endora is one man and one woman, Stella,’ just real terrific stuff.” Stella said.

Zeta and Stella’s mom’s expression didn’t change dramatically, but for just a brief instant I thought I saw her brow move, as though a painful memory struck her. Stella’s brow, meanwhile, was the opposite, looking angrier each time I checked over to her.

”I’ve changed a great deal since then,” Octa said. It was an arrogant response, but I sensed a tone of something in there. Guilt or regret might be too easy a way to describe it, but there was more to her words than just the stoic, confident dismissal.

”That’s it? Not even a sorry for what you put me through?” Stella asked.

”I’ve already apologized,” Octa said. ”If we have another meeting with more time, I can explain in further detail.”

She talked about it like she was an office manager talking to a low paid worker. Or at least how I’d imagine that would sound.

Stella crossed her arms tightly. After a moment of stewing in her thoughts, she gave two quick knocks on the table.

”Oh, that’s right!” I said after a few seconds, hoping that’d make it seem like I wasn’t reacting to the knocks. ”Zeta, we have to get to the club meeting.”

I put on, in my opinion, a pretty decent sounding voice trying to not convey that we had to leave because Stella was about to lose her temper and possibly get in a shouting match.

Zeta blinked, like she was a few dimensions away and was just shifting back to reality.

”Right, yes...” Zeta said. She got up, fidgeting with her hands still.

”Um...see ya later!” I said.

”B-bye now...” Zeta said.

I took her hand and led her out of the room. It felt like we were sneaking somewhere because neither of us spoke until we were far away from the meeting room. Far away enough that we made it to our hallway in the dorms. Zeta sighed and leaned against a wall.

”You alright?” I asked. ”Well, as alright as you can be?”

Zeta shrugged. ”I guess. Thanks for getting me out of there. Sorry you had to...yeah.”

”It’s OK, I’m just happy to be there for you,” I said.

”That was a big waste of time, though,” Zeta said. ”We could’ve been doing anything today instead of that.”

”I guess we...learned stuff, maybe?” I said.

”Stuff we probably could’ve guessed ourselves,” Zeta said.

”On the plus side, you made it through a meeting with your mom without it being too traumatic, I hope at least...” I said.

”That’s...true, yeah, I didn’t really freak out this time,” Zeta scoffed. I didn’t like seeing her so despondent.

”I hope that wasn’t stupid to say,” I said.

”No, I’m just...”

She brushed her hair aside, and once again I found myself staring. And again felt bad for it because this was not the time. ”What’s up?”

”It’s nothing,” I said. ”I’m really, really stupid,”

”You’re not,” Zeta said. ”Want to talk about it?”

”I don’t want to make this about me,” I said. ”You just had a real harrowing moment there.”

”No, please do, I’m tired of things about me, I really don’t want to think about me problems right now,” Zeta said. ”Tell me what’s up.”

I scratched the back of my head. We’d been dating for months now but I still got so many butterflies around her. ”I got kinda nervous in there, and to cope with that I did the ol’ stare at Zeta Faleur thing to calm down, and then was feeling bad because, like, read the room, right? That wasn’t a good stare at you time.”

Zeta’s downcast expression held for a moment more, then a smile crossed her lips. The giggle she let out was as pleasant as a well played harp.

”I dunno, I think that’s a great time for it,” Zeta said. ”I should’ve been staring at you instead of listening to my mom be all weird and vague.”

My heart felt like it was gonna skip a beat as her smile widened.

”That actually makes me really happy,” Zeta said. ”Makes me want to forget about all that stupidness and...”

I still wasn’t sure if it was the best time for it, and still felt a little guilty for wanting to jump right into girlfriend time, but it also had been a while since we had some good girlfriend time. ”My room should be free right now if...you wanna...unless you need a bit to recuperate after that.”

Zeta giggled. ”I think being alone with you would be very recuperate...recuperative? Is that a word?”

”I think so?” I said.

Zeta took my hands this time. ”Then let’s go recuperate a bit.”