Retired: Nice Guy. HAREM SYSTEM UNLOCKED

Chapter 34: 34. Covered in goo

”How much mana do you have left? Did some of it replenish?”

”Yes, but not enough!! Basically peanuts.”

When I got a better look at the layout, only one thing came to mind, the nights I played 2D platformer games and wrecked my potato PC trying to clear them.

For us, the whole dungeon was flipped sideways, we were all running on walls, and a normal turn was a fall for us. We were approaching one right now. The data hub, as trippy as it sounds, was at six o’clock below us.

I could see the turns and falls we’d have to make to reach the data hub. It was the only place, or room, with active security, and if we managed to get in there, we wouldn’t have to fight, at least.

”Can you cast your spell to levitate?”

”For like half a minute, what are you thinking!?! Tell me the plan already!”

To be honest, I had so many questions, but we had limited time, so I had to dumb it down.

”Listen closely! You’re going to jump down, and I’ll follow you with a delay. Count three corridors on the left side. Then levitate when the fourth corridor comes. Then–”

”Then catch you!? Respectfully, I’ll lose my pretty arms!! Last time the drop was small, that’s why I was able to catch you. This time it’s way longer.”

Dr. Rhiannon screamed at me mid-explanation, pupils locked on me, like she couldn’t believe I’d even suggest something like this. And then I paused, not because she caught an error, but because she hadn’t heard my full plan yet.

”No, you don’t have to catch me. What I’m saying is, you grab me just enough to feel some of my weight, and with a quarter spin, you’ll be able to change my trajectory and throw me into the corridor.”

Her expression deepened, I’d completely bamboozled her. For a second she had no words.

”You’re not crazy, you’re psychotic!! That won’t cancel your speed, you’ll hit the floor. The force could leave you badly injured or get you killed.”

”No, it won’t, if I stay a little lower from the middle. I’ll roll along the wall until I slow down. And even if something happens, I have the healing potions.”

My suggestion didn’t seem to convince her. Then she turned around and saw the undead creature.

It had picked up the pace again, getting closer, its six limbs moving in sync, showing no sign of exhaustion while our lungs were burning.

Looking ahead, we could clearly see the fall, and that changed Dr. Rhiannon’s mind.

”Alright, muffin!! I think I can do that. If this works, I’m going to brag about it my whole life.”

She smiled, somewhat comically, and with a nod we both sprinted ahead. I kept the pace steady. I threw another instant damage potion at the undead creature, aiming at its legs this time. It dodged, no effect, crawling forward, but my real motive was to slow it down and buy myself time to fall with a delay.

Moving forward, Dr. Rhiannon jumped down. I stopped at the edge of the fall, and for a second my hair stood on end. But seeing Dr. Rhiannon falling below, that faded fast. I jumped.

The undead creature tried to slam into the wall to follow, but was too late and ended up slamming into itself.

The jump was successful, the fall started slow, then suddenly sped up, my body cutting through the air. Then I remembered I had potions, and they could break on impact.

So I held my belt pouch in front of me, curling around it, protecting my head. Getting ready for the showdown.

To the left, I counted the corridors. One, my heartbeat spiked. Two, I could feel the blood pounding in my veins. Three, closing my eyes, I kept my grip tight and waited for Dr. Rhiannon to make her move.

Her hands gripped my thigh and shoulder at the same time. Kind of an awkward grab, but it worked, with a quarter spin I was thrown into the corridor.

My eyes opened at the right moment to catch Dr. Rhiannon’s thrilled face and a victory sign. But that didn’t last long.

I hit the floor at an angle, not enough to absorb all the motion and force, so my body began to roll, just like predicted. And it was more intense and terrifying than any rollercoaster I’d ever ridden.

My body was rolling so fast I couldn’t even tell where I was going, mid-roll my body was in the air because of some unknown physics, then back on the floor, never stopping the spin. My grip on the belt pouch was loosening, and I thought the roll would go on forever, but it finally stopped.

Even after I stopped, my subconscious brain was still telling me I was rolling. Opening my eyes, everything was spinning and the colors were smearing into lines.

My mouth started watering in a weird way, and then I threw up. I let my body do its thing, because if I didn’t, I’d just get sicker.

”Fuck–”

After emptying the entire contents of my stomach and regaining some sense, I noticed I was covered in beetle goo, all over my clothes.

Upon seeing the disgusting beetle buds nearby, I threw up again, this time just watery saliva.

”I want to bathe in holy water now.”

Then I tried to stand up, only to discover I was scraped up on my back. Nothing a potion wouldn’t fix.

I saw Dr. Rhiannon in the distance, shockingly far, I couldn’t even see the end of the corridor, the fall we’d entered through. How far had I rolled?

”Are you alright, little muffin!!”

Dr. Rhiannon called out, concerned, before she’d even reached me. Her steps were a little weak and slow.

”I’m fine, just scraped my back!!!!”

”Ohh!!!”

She stopped, holding her knees, finally letting out a breath without having to worry about getting killed. Same went for me.

She held onto my shoulder, putting her weight on it, her face red, sweat sparkling, hair messy, breath visible. She looked hot... She took a moment to let the air flow back into her lungs.

”That was epic! I didn’t think it would actually work. I’m impressed... I might give you a reward for that one...”

Reward? Yes!! Is it what I think it is? Probably not. It’s not that easy.

”Well, we have to do that maneuver again until we make it to the data hub.”

Dr. Rhiannon let go of my shoulder, backing off, soon realizing the moment wasn’t over yet. From where we’d entered the corridor, the sound of bricks breaking echoed, continuing for a few seconds.

”It’s already here!”

I shouted. I knew it was fast, but not this fast. It had apparently used the same method as me, but in its own wild way, falling and digging into the wall to cancel its momentum.

”We have to do it three more times, right?”

Dr. Rhiannon had already checked the layout and calculated the falls and turns, marking the data hub as the safe point, suddenly locked in and confident. Yeah, once you know what’s possible, that’s exactly how a human reacts.

”With the little mana I have, I’m sure I can do it.”

”That’s what I wanted to hear.”

A thrilling smile appeared on both our faces, communicating without words.

”Now we run!!”

”Wait for me, muffin, I thought we were having some bonding!”

We weren’t wasting a single second. While running, I opened a bottle of instant healing potion and poured it on my back. Honestly, I thought it wouldn’t work, but my back healed.

I poured the rest of the contents over the rest of my body. It was disgusting, like Sister Maren had said, but I was back in full function mode.

”The fall is coming. Get ready!!”

Dr. Rhiannon shouted and got ahead of me, jumping without hesitation. I followed her, and the process repeated.

We jump, she levitates, she changes my trajectory, I throw up, nothing but something, healing potion, we hear bricks breaking, and we run again.

By the third time, I was really questioning how my brain came up with this. I could have just used Crimson Vigor, but it’s 500 Casllay, and I didn’t want to waste my Casllay, or the potion, on some minor boss. And my death timer was probably down to single digits now.

Was it worth it? For me, yes.

”We made it!!! There!! The data hub.”

”Where is it, I can’t see anything~”

I was fully in a drunken-feeling state, purely from all the rolling. And I could barely focus on a single point.

”Above you!”

I looked up and there it was, the heavy metal door with magical markings, the door of the data hub.

”Oh yeah, the damn gravity~”

On the left side, I saw the undead creature approaching, and I could feel it was at max speed. Then it did something it hadn’t done before, it screamed. It was sharp, hitting the eardrums at all the wrong points, making it thoroughly unpleasant.

Dr. Rhiannon, upon noticing the undead creature, took action. Raising her hand upward, palm facing the door, she chanted a phrase quietly, lighting up the markings, and the door opened with a rusty, old sound.

Wasting no time, holding me by the waist, she levitated us up into the data hub. Looking down, I saw its face, red eyes leaking blood, getting frustrated, but sad to say, the door closed right on its pathetic face.

We finally made it. Fuck, I’m never doing this again.