Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

Yanwang: Oh my God! Do I really need to wait until next year?! Molds are going to grow inside my intestine! (Crying emoji)

God Erlang: Sob… Sob… I have no one to blame but myself! Even if God Chen sends a pile of shit inside the group, I will definitely snatch it!

”Haha… None of you guys support me earlier. Now, both of you have to experience how it feels like when someone slaps your face! This is awesome! Wahahaha…”

Chen laughed evilly while holding his phone.

Monkey King: Everyone! We should know what to do after eating God Chen’s mooncakes! I will start first! Let the Red Envelopes flood the group!

Ding!

[Monkey King has sent a Red Envelope to the group!]

”Haha! Monkey King is the best! Let me snatch it…”

Chen’s eyes were shining. However, he was rudely interrupted as he was getting ready to snatch a few Red Envelopes!

”Eh? Such big peach… I want to eat! I want to eat!”

Luo turned around all of a sudden and climbed on Chen. Her red lips came rushing at Chen.

”Erm…”

Chen was shocked. Luo’s lips landed on his lips. This lady must be dreaming about eating the juicy peach. She was treating Chen’s lips like a delicate peach. From her face, one could see that she was genuinely enjoying it.

”What the f*ck! I’m being forced to kiss this lady! Maybe she feels horny after she got drunk. Could it be… That she wants to take away my virginity!”

Chen had his eyes wide opened. He could not believe the things that were happening in front of him right now. But, the feeling on his lips was definitely real! It was so soft, tender and elastic. Chen could not hold himself back anymore. He extended his tongue and stretched out. Damn! It smelled good!

Finally, the beast inside Chen’s body was going to be released. If the time was right, Chen would unleash the beast on her. Luo’s body and face were so perfect. None of the men in this world would be able to hold themselves back when a woman like this seduced them.

At then, it was not the right time! There were tones of Red Envelopes pouring into the group!

”Damn it! I can’t take her and Red Envelope at the same time! What should I choose…?”

Chen felt like he lost a few million when he saw the Red Envelopes flying passed him. He then gritted his teeth and pushed Luo aside.

”After all, she is going to be my woman in the future! I can never miss any Red Envelope snatching session!”

Chen crossed his legs and sat down. Both of his hands started to tap on the screen at lightning speed to snatch Red Envelopes. However, Luo would not give up. She was just like a snake. She climbed on Chen’s back and rubbed on him. Her fiery red lips still wanted to eat more ”peaches”.

”Stop fooling around!”

Chen gritted. He could not care less about this gorgeous creature. All he cared about was snatching Red Envelopes. He had entered Zen mode. There was absolutely nothing that could stop him! Even a monk could not be compared to his self-control towards lust.

Finally, Chen managed to snatch three Red Envelopes before the snatching session ended. That was the reward of giving up on the golden opportunity to make love with a gorgeous lady!

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from Bai Wuchang! You have received a Bell of Dream Catcher! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from the Skeletal Queen! You have received a book called Muscle and Bone Shifting Technique. It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from Qian Liyan. You have received three pieces of The Talisman of God’s Eyes! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

”Haha! Triple kill! I’m pretty happy with the result!”

Chen smirked. He then realized that his face and neck were wet. It was caused by Luo’s relentless kissing.

”This woman is an Ice Demon Queen when she’s sober. And, now, she is like an overly attached elf when she’s drunk!”

Chen was laughing and crying at the same time.

”Let me check on the three previous items that I acquired earlier! Then, I will deal with you!”

Then, Chen opened his treasure chest.

Ding!

[The book, Bone and Sinew Tearing Grab; was created by the Skeletal Queen. It can be considered as a one-star skill! Do you want to withdraw it?]

”Only one-star? Sounds pretty useless to me. Even the Nutbuster is rated as a three-star skill!”

Chen sighed, ”Anyway, I should try it before judging it! I will spare some time learning this skill later. It can be useful in some special circumstances!”

Ding!

[The Talisman of God’s Eyes; a talisman handcrafted by Qian Liyan. It allows you to peek at any location that you wish after using it! The duration of the effect is one minute! Do you want to withdraw it?]

”Not bad! This is quite good!”

All of a sudden, a lightbulb appeared on the top of Chen’s head.

”If I can peek at any location that I wish! I’m supposed I can peek in Lan’s bathroom after using the talisman! Hehehe…”

Ding!

[The Bell of Dream Catcher; an item that is created by the Bai Wuchang. Use it on an unconscious person to make the person tell you their secrets. Do you want to withdraw it?]

”Damn! This is even more powerful!”

Chen was getting really excited.

”If the richest person in this world is knocked unconscious by me, then, I will be able to make him tell me the password to his bank account! I’m getting all excited just thinking about it! Wahahaha…I must try it when I have the opportunity!”

Chen tossed his cellphone aside and pushed Luo down to the bed.

”Little Elf! You have been seducing me all night long! Now, it’s my time to work on you!”

Chen put on an evil smile. He actually looked kind of disgusting.

A ”well-functioning” man will never be able to resist a woman like this! The ”beast” inside Chen’s body was on the verge of blowing up!

”No… I don’t want to consume the Heart Burning Pill… I don’t want to do anything bad anymore! Don’t force me… Go away… Pain… It hurts so much…”

Luo’s good dream of eating peaches turned into a nightmare all of a sudden. Her beautiful face was twisted in agony. Both of her hands were moving non-stop. It was like she was trying to stop something or someone from approaching her.

”Heart Burning Pill? Bad things?”

Chen was shocked. He frowned and said, ”Maybe these things have something to do with her chest pain. What the hell is going on?”

He could still remember Luo having an episode of chest pain in front of the university gate. Chen also found a bottle of black pills inside her bag. That incident and her sleep talking seemed to be connected!

”Right! I can try to use the Bell of Dream Catcher on her! Although she has a bad temper, she’s still a nice lady! I should help her!”

After Chen made up his mind, he opened up his treasure chest and took out the Bell of Dream Catcher.

A black metal hand bell appeared on Chen’s hand after the flash.

The end of the handle was a skull. And, there were some unrecognizable ancient characters crafted on the bell itself.

*Ring…*

Chen rung the bell without any hesitation. The crystal clear sound did not affect Chen but had a huge impact on Luo.

”Er…”

The sound of pain resonated the room. Luo then became quiet.

Her body was lying on the bed straight. It looked stiff. Her body was comparable to the dead bodies in coffins. She looked far from alive.

”Luo Puti!”

Chen was shocked.

Translator’s note

1. Bai Wuchang- A deity in Chinese folk religion who is in charge of escorting the spirits of the dead to the Underworld.