Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

It was post from their university’s forum. The title was, ”Master Shi’s luxurious birthday party for his girlfriend.” It was live. There were a lot of pictures uploaded in the post. Pictures like intimate moments between Shi and Bing, blowing candles, making wishes, cutting the cake and others, were all over the forum. They seemed really happy in the picture.

”Third brother, please don’t be upset…”

”Let’s take from a different perspective. This b*tch is a waste of your time.”

”Third brother, hang on! Please don’t hurt yourself or commit suicide.”

Three of his roommates were really tensed. They were afraid that Chen will break down mentally. Chen smiled calmly and asked, ”How long ago was this? Have you refreshed the page?”

”What do you mean by that?” Zhou asked.

”Quick! Refresh it now!” Zhang said.

Li quickly clicked on the refresh button.

Three of them were stunned by what they saw the next second. There were more pictures being uploaded to the post. This time, all the pictures were pretty disgusting and hardcore. The whole forum was flooded with this news. Titles like:

[Master Shi puked ”gold” on his girlfriend’s face, it was a really ”golden” moment!]

[Let’s take a look at this in terms of biology. How did Shi even puke shit?]

[What does shit taste like? What’s the texture? #Shi #Bing]

”Oh shit! The whole forum is full of their ”shit”! How is Bing going to face the crowd tomorrow?”

”That b*tch deserved it! That’s what she gets from toying with our third brother’s feelings. Karma is a b*tch, b*tch!”

”Click refresh again! I want to see what’s next!”

The three of his roommates had completely immersed themselves in this news. Only Chen knew that this was the doing of his ”good deed”. He quickly took a bath and leaped onto bed to see if there were any more red envelopes to be snatched. Being able have his revenge and saving Lan were all credited to the Red Envelopes group. There were different items inside the Red Envelope. He definitely wouldn’t mind getting more of it. Sunddenly, his cellphone vibrated.

Ding!

[Zhu Bajie would like to be your friend.]

Chen was shocked. The first thing that came to into his mind was the face of a pig, ”Zhu Bajie? Why did he add me as his friend? Maybe the system found out that I’m the supernumerary.”

Today was the release date of Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms. Chen was sure the reason he got into the game was because there was a system loophole. He will be kicked out from the group if he was found out.

”What should I do now? Right! I can foresee my own future. Let me see if it’s ok to add him as friend.”

A few seconds later. Four words came to his mind, ”Good things will happen”. Chen was so relieved when he knew nothing bad will happen.

”I can add his as my friend without worrying then.”

He received a personal message as soon as he accepted.

Zhu Bajie: Good day my friend. (Three shy emojis)

”Erm….”

Chen quickly thought of a pig’s head with shy emotion. He was disgusted by it. He replied apprehensively, ”Good day Master Zhu. I wonder, why are you looking for me?”

Zhu: You received three Charms of Marriage earlier, right?

Chen said: Yes.

Zhu: Can I have one please? I’m willing trade for it.

Chen: Why do you need the charm?

Zhu: I would like to do something with Chang’e Goddess. (More shy emojis)

Chen: I understand. (Sweaty emojis)

Everyone within the three realms knew what happened between Zhu Bajie and Chang’e. It was fine for him to exchange the charm with something else because he did not need the charm anyway. The question is, what should he exchange the charm for? Chen had zero knowledge about the items from deities.

He thought for a while and asked: Do you happen to have the Fur of Prosperity from the Monkey King himself? If you have it. I’m willing to exchange the charm for it.

Zhu: I don’t have it with me. He gave out all his Red Envelopes. Now, there’s a bald patch on his body. It’s hard to get fur from him at this moment. (Three sweaty emojis)

Chen was kind of disappointed. He saw that Zhu was really desperate and he knew he was in luck. So, he asked him directly whether he possessed any human’s items.

Zhu: I don’t have any human’s stuff but I can go back to Gao Village to check it out.”

Chen was had no choice but to wait for him tomake a trip back to Gao Village. He could not believe that Gao Village did exist. He was in need of money, thus, he replied by saying, ”Just get me some gold, jewelry or silver.”

Zhu: Those are useless items. Don’t you realize that I’m basically ripping you off in that case? Your charms are worth a lot more than that.

Chen: I don’t think I’m losing out much. You take this as good will from me. Also, we can become good friends after this.

Zhu: Splendid! You are already my good friend now! Hold on, let me take a trip back to Gao Village!

Chen smirked as he thought, ”All those gold, jewelry and silver might be useless to you but they will worth a lot to me.” One man’s junk, another man’s treasure. The same goes for the charms. They’re useless to me.

”Third brother! come over here! The forum has been flooded by another news!” Zhang screamed.

”What kind of news would be hotter than the Shi’s incident?” Chen was curious, so, he jumped down from his bed and took a look.

[School beauty Lan, went out with a mysterious guy and went back to the dorm together,late at night!]

There were a lot of pictures under the big title. People who commented on this post were all crazy fans of Lan. They were jealous of the mysterious guy. Most of them were trying to identify the mystery guy.

”Man, people like these have too much time on their hands! They might as well use the time to jerk off!” Chen snapped, feeling somewhat guilty.

They could not identify him because the photo was taken at night. He would be in big trouble if others could see his face. ”Third brother, the guy in the picture wore the same outfit as you. Please don’t tell me that it was you in the picture!” Li was shocked and his eyes were wide open.

”What the hell! Asshole! Confess now! What’s your relationship with our goddess?” Zhou and Zhang stood up and walked towards him with their fists ready. These two guys were Lan’s die-hard fans. They will surely make Chen pay for this.

Chen knew that it was useless to explain it to them right now. So, he buffed up his gut and outrightly told them, ”Fine! I admit that Lan is my girlfriend!”

The three of his roommates were rather shocked when they heard what Chen just said.

”Third brother. When did you learn how to brag so well?” Zhou rolled his eyes.

”I’m not bragging. It was me in the picture! I gathered up my courage to tell you the truth. How dare you choose not to believe me?!” Chen said.

”Third brother. Your bragging skill is just bad…..” Li shook his head and continued to check out the post.

”Third brother! I have to advise you on this matter. You don’t even have enough money to buy food. How dare you approach Lan the beauty. Lan’s family is the richest family in Green Vine City. There are only a few rich guys in this city qualified to pursue her!” Zhang said.

”Well, I’ve fessed up. It’s up to you guys if you don’t believe me.” Chen shrugged his shoulders. He praised himself for his wisdom secretly.

His cellphone vibrated all of a sudden.

[You have received a Red Envelope from Zhu Bajie.]

Translator footnote

Zhu Bajie- One of the three helpers of Sanzang and a major character of the novel ”Journey to the West”. Is an anthropomorphized pig.