Reality Programming Association

Chapter 129: Chapter 53: The Evacuating Research Group

”Old Yu, are you moving in for good? Does this mean our dorm is getting an upgrade from Yanxi Palace to Kunning Palace?”

Yu Xian’s mouth twitched. He clearly had no idea what the difference was between the two palaces.

But he knew that Shi Zuozhou, cooped up in the dorm for days while classes were suspended, had definitely been binge-watching a ton of palace-intrigue dramas. He was practically marinated in all those terrible, random jokes.

He pulled out a chair and sat down, pointing to the takeout container in Shi Zuozhou’s hand.

”Why’d you get takeout? Was the cafeteria full?”

The moment he mentioned it, Shi Zuozhou’s cheeky grin instantly collapsed, replaced by a look of utter grievance.

”Don’t even ask. Brother Yi isn’t here, you’re not here, and I’m all alone.”

He complained with tragic indignation as he unwrapped a pair of disposable chopsticks.

”When I go to the cafeteria by myself, it feels like all the happiness in the world belongs to other people. My heart feels so cold and empty. The food tastes like wax—completely flavorless!”

Yu Xian walked over, patted his shoulder, and said with a laugh,

”Alright, alright. I’ll be living on campus from now on, so I’ll eat with you every day. How’s that?”

Shi Zuozhou’s eyes lit up instantly. He immediately put on a sycophantic expression and said in a high-pitched voice,

”Oh, that would be wonderful! For my lord to grace me with his presence, this humble servant’s heart is truly filled with such joy!”

Yu Xian froze, a dark expression crossing his face.

He skillfully pulled open the storage container under Shi Zuozhou’s bed, deciding to have lunch in the dorm today and eat with him.

’Holy crap, it’s packed full of supplies he hoarded while classes were suspended for the rainstorm. Is this guy part squirrel?’

He casually grabbed a cup of braised beef instant noodles, tore open the packaging, and went to the hallway to get hot water from the dispenser.

”You’re just gonna eat that?” Shi Zuozhou glanced over.

”It’s good enough. I’m too lazy to go downstairs,” Yu Xian said, sticking the fork in and waiting for the noodles to cook.

”No way. Not on my watch. You think I’d let you eat that?”

As he spoke, like a real-life Doraemon, Shi Zuozhou pulled another vacuum-sealed bag of spicy beef tendon and a large bag of ready-to-eat enoki mushrooms from the container. He generously tore them open and dumped the entire contents into Yu Xian’s noodle cup.

”Eat! Eat your fill! This is the empire I conquered for you!”

Yu Xian didn’t stand on ceremony. He stirred the noodles, and a steaming cloud of air, fragrant with chili oil and beef, rose up. It was definitely more appetizing than a dry takeout box.

The two of them sat around the table, slurping down their food to the sound of the rain outside.

”Oh yeah, Old Yu,” Shi Zuozhou said indistinctly, his mouth full of a piece of pork rib.

”About deploying the node in the dorm supervisor’s office... I spent all morning thinking about it and finally came up with a brilliant ’lure the tiger out of the mountains’ plan!”

”So tell me about this plan of yours,” Yu Xian said curiously, taking a sip of noodle broth.

Shi Zuozhou looked at Yu Xian and opened his mouth as if to say something, but he swallowed his words.

”I’ve got it all figured out. This afternoon, when no one’s around, you go lure the dorm supervisor out. The second she leaves her office, I’ll sneak in. With my twenty years of single-guy hand speed, I can get the node installed on that computer in two minutes flat!”

Shi Zuozhou’s eyes gleamed as he laid out his brilliant plan.

”Hold on, hold on.” Yu Xian’s mouth was twitching as he listened.

”Leaving aside how exactly I’m supposed to lure out the dorm supervisor, how could you possibly finish the installation in two minutes? I forgot to tell you, Wen Xiao already came up with a solution last night.”

”Huh? What solution?”

”It’s called a BadUSB. Basically, we package our program onto a flash drive. You don’t have to do anything. You just plug the drive into the computer, and it will install automatically in the background.”

”Holy shit, this ’You Bad Bad’ plan is that amazing?” Shi Zuozhou’s jaw dropped, and he stared dumbfounded.

”...What ’You Bad Bad’ plan?” Yu Xian was completely lost.

”Doesn’t ’Bad’ mean ’bad’? And isn’t ’U’ pronounced like ’you’? So together, isn’t that ’You bad bad’?”

”...”

Yu Xian stared at Shi Zuozhou’s smug ’How’s my English?’ expression and was speechless for a long moment.

”Your reading comprehension is off the charts.”

He offered his assessment, rubbing his temples. He felt like his own IQ had just suffered a dimensional-reduction attack.

”Hehe, you flatter me, you flatter me,” Shi Zuozhou said, shamelessly clasping his hands in a mock bow.

The two of them threw the takeout containers, noodle cups, and snack bags into the trash can, then left with their umbrellas.

Their afternoon class was called ”Experimental Particle Physics Data Processing and Analysis.” The name sounded intimidating, but to put it bluntly, it just taught you how to sift through a messy, chaotic pile of data garbage to pan for a piece of gold that might not even exist—like the God particle.

In high-energy physics experiments, particle collisions generate massive amounts of data, like a fireworks show exploding right in front of your eyes. But 99.99% of it is useless background noise and interference from known particles.

This class taught you how to use certain tools, like statistics or computers, to filter out that tiny sliver of valuable signal.

The students privately called it ”Photoshopping.”

The rain was still coming down. It wasn’t heavy, but you still needed an umbrella.

Splashing through puddles all the way, the two of them entered the School of Physics’s experiment building.

Due to the previous incident, the first-floor lobby of the experiment building hadn’t been fully repaired yet. A few wooden planks were laid across the floor, and the air smelled of paint.

The elevator was out of service, so they had to take the stairs.

The computer lab on the fourth floor was already filled with students. Yu Xian and Shi Zuozhou habitually headed for the back row. They had just turned on their computers when the bell for class rang.