Prince of The Abyss

It felt weird to think like this, but what was going to come when he got back...

It was funny, since he still had a long way to go to even get home; he had no idea how to even leave, and many more things could happen, yet Lilith’s death was already something that was going to make the whole world tremble.

After all, he wasn’t just anybody, the Vessel of Freedom, an extremely big public figure, and someone with massive potential. The number of times he has heard his name in the Blue Rose just goes to show his influence, and more importantly, his role in its future.

It was obvious that the King had a big plan for him; who knew, maybe even the future King, since he and Iris had a good relationship.

...

But it wasn’t like it could ever happen now.

He didn’t even know what was going to happen when the news was going to come out. And when, after all, he was the only one who was aware of his death, so unless he revealed it, no one could know that he was dead; even if everyone else at the moment were to come back to the real world, there would be no way to know if he was still alive or not; many would just believe he hadn’t found his way back yet.

Did he even want to tell them if he got back? After all, he felt as if it would be easier that way; keeping it a secret would have a better effect on the Blue Rose. But at the same time, keeping this secret would just hurt him more.

Seeing the hope in the eyes of others, awaiting his return while he knew that he was dead because of him, could he ever be able to overcome it? That guilt.

He sighed, resting his head in his hands.

’What am I supposed to even do now, keep going forward? Continue our original goal? What path can I even take, and which would be the best?”

If he continued to search for others, he would just get them killed before they could figure anything else, so what was the point? So should he try to find the entry point, the one they came from, but even if he did, he was never going to beat a Breaker Titan.

This wasn’t like before; he didn’t have exactly what he needed: the direct counter to his enemy.

And more importantly, that monster was never going to look down on him and hold back against him as the Queen did. But he needed to get back for his survival, and also to tell everyone what was happening inside Wonderland...

But what about the merge? Was that something he should mention?

... ’My mind’s a mess...’ It was a while since he had felt like this... which was weird, since after Demon of Dread, he had changed so he wouldn’t feel like this; everything he had done as a Seeker was to not experience this again. And yet here he was.

He had distanced himself, getting close to only important people, who he thought were never going to be able to let him down, acting more selfishly so that people would stay away from him, and believing in himself more; that way, he could love himself more and get through these situations if something did happen.

And none had worked; he had been let down, and here he was, in the worst mental state he had been in a while. Actually, if he thought about it, if he had gotten close to somebody else and they had died, then he would also be in a bad state, but not to this extent.

And his so-called confidence, it sure wasn’t helping at the moment; it was actually making it a lot worse. What had it even helped him with so far? Nothing... just making him feel like trash whenever he failed.

Like when he lost to Orion, he had no reason to be mad, yet because he had grown so confident, he couldn’t accept that he had lost, and so he felt the loss a lot more than he would have if he had just gone in without an ego.

...

’I have to change... to survive in this place... I have to realize that I can’t get close to anyone...’

But would that really help? If he were to distance himself from everyone, sure, it would make it so he never had to experience this again, but was it ever worth it...

Maybe in the future his opinion was going to change; a part of him was sure it was. But at the moment, he couldn’t think of anything else.

Getting up on his feet, Aether looked in the distance. He had no idea what he was going to do next, or what he was trying to do, but he had to continue to walk, since maybe he was going to find something. If he just stood still, nothing would happen; only time would pass, more people would continue to die, and that was all.

Whatever he was going to see, and no matter who he was going to see die, he was going to have to push forward...

As much as it hurt him.

If he stood still, he was never going to get home...

...

’It’s funny, I know that I can’t save everyone; I know it well, I’ve told Lilith this many times.

And yet it feels like I can’t save anyone; never have I ever felt more useless, not even after my master died, ironic, since now I have way more power than I had before.”

...

Like a mindless beast, he walked, only surviving, at least, until the next death came.

No way Lilith was going to be the last person to die in this place; he was going to have to get used to it, to ignore it.

...

No matter who it was, or how important they were to him or the world.