Peerless Bodyguard of a Stunning Beauty

The three women proudly addressed the assistant, ”You’re not so picky anymore, are you?”

The assistant looked at the beauty before him, overjoyed. ”Wow! If the great Yuji Eta were standing in front of me, what could I possibly have to complain about?”

Miss Lili laughed and said to him, ”Assistant, you have to remember that in this world, there are no ugly women, only lazy and foolish ones. This primitive woman here is an inherent beauty. It’s just that being from a primitive culture, she doesn’t know about modern hygiene or aesthetics. That’s why you thought she wasn’t beautiful, but she actually is. You saw it yourself—after we did her makeup, she instantly transformed into a star from an Island Country movie, every man’s goddess, Yuji Eta!”

Yu Lan chimed in, teasing the assistant, ”You men really are creatures that think with your loins. If I had made this primitive woman up to look like Han Hong, you definitely wouldn’t have liked it. But when I made her look like a star from an Island Country movie, you couldn’t get enough of her. It seems you men truly are visual animals.”

Xuelian then pulled out her phone, showing the assistant photos of various actresses from Island Country movies. ”Assistant, if we didn’t make her up to look like Yuji Eta, but instead made her look like Yumi, Chao Tongguang, or Wuteng Lan, would you still like them just as much?”

The assistant nodded furiously. ”Of course! You don’t even have to ask!”

With that, he took the primitive woman, who now looked like Yuji Eta, and led her behind a nearby tree.

A moment later, however, the assistant rushed back to Zhao Rong, saying sheepishly, ”Brother Zhao Rong, could you open your phone and buy me a Simmons mattress from the Paradise Shopping Cart app?”

Hearing the assistant make another troublesome request for a mattress, Zhao Rong was reluctant. ”Assistant, just go behind that tree. The ground can be your bed and the sky your blanket. Why waste money on a mattress?”

The assistant explained awkwardly, ”Brother Zhao Rong, you don’t understand. When I went over and lay on the ground, I realized that the primitive woman might be able to handle the damp earth and all the little bugs—the ants, spiders, mosquitoes, centipedes, scorpions, and geckos. But I can’t adapt to the dampness, let alone all those critters crawling around me!”

Listening to him, Zhao Rong chuckled. He immediately bought a moisture-proof Simmons mattress and a mosquito net for the assistant. ”Alright, Assistant, I got you a mattress, and it’s moisture-proof. I also threw in a mosquito net. Now, no little bugs will be able to crawl into bed with you and the primitive woman.”

Seeing how well Brother Zhao Rong was treating him, the assistant was moved to tears and said, ”Brother Zhao Rong, you’re too good to me! In my next life, I will serve you like a beast of burden to repay this incredible kindness!”

Just then, Miss Lili stepped forward and took out a soundproof bed cover she had bought from the Paradise Shopping Cart. ”Assistant, I know you. You tend to make a lot of noise in bed, so I specially bought you a soundproof bed cover. As long as you drape this around yourselves, no matter how loud you shout, none of us will hear a thing.”

As he accepted the soundproof bed cover, the assistant said gratefully, ”Miss Lili, you’re so considerate! To think of everything so carefully, even knowing that I like to shout in bed... I’m truly impressed!”

Before the assistant could finish, Yu Lan produced a package and handed it to him. ”Assistant, I have a package for you, too. Once you open it, you’ll see that I’m even more careful and considerate than Miss Lili.”

Startled, the assistant began to open the package. Could it be that Yu Lan has given me condoms?

Before he could finish the thought, he had the package open and saw a spray bottle inside that looked similar to Yunnan Baiyao aerosol. He held the bottle up, unable to understand the English writing on it. ”Yu Lan, what is this stuff? How do I use it?”

Yu Lan smiled and told him, ”Assistant, you’re a young man and you don’t know what this is? You’re really behind the times. I’ll tell you. This spray is a liquid condom. Just before you do the deed, spray a little of it on. The thin liquid will automatically form a film that acts as a condom. What’s more, this kind of liquid condom is not only extremely thin but also very safe. It feels like you’re not wearing anything at all. So now you see how good I am to you, right?”

When the assistant heard how miraculous this item was, he held it admiringly. ”Yu Lan, I’ve used all kinds of condom brands in my life, like Durex, Jissbon, Shuangxin, and Okamoto, but I never imagined there were liquid ones! This is amazing! I really can’t wait to try it.”

At that moment, Xuelian suddenly took out her own package, placed it in the assistant’s hands, and said mysteriously, ”Assistant, if you want to talk about mysterious, considerate, and surprising gifts, my gift is the most powerful and magical of all. Open this package right now. I guarantee it will shock you so much you’ll fall to the ground.”

Hearing that Xuelian’s gift was the most impressive, the assistant didn’t hesitate. He tore open the package and pulled out the magical item inside. The moment he laid eyes on it, however, he blushed beet red, for it was an item he had seen countless times in the magical films from the Island Country.