Overwhelming Firepower

Alexander was once again in a state that felt like a dream but wasn’t. Unlike the previous times, this dream was much clearer than ever before.

In this dream, it was like he was floating above the ground, and he saw a person who looked very similar to him, but was so much older than him.

He was taller, broader, and his presence carried a weight that felt both familiar and distant at the same time. This older version was gnashing his teeth, seemingly in pain as he was looking forward, his eyes were tearing up, but not a single tear fell.

Then Alexander saw what the older version of him was looking at. It was a battlefield filled with dead bodies.

Alexander did not know who those people were, but he felt pain in his chest, so much pain just looking at them. Unlike the older version of him, Alexander could not help but start crying.

Tears streamed down Alexander’s face as he looked at the countless bodies scattered across the battlefield.

He did not know their names. He did not know who they were. Yet, for some reason, it felt like he did. He had shared intimate moments with each one. He could imagine them smiling happily, trusting him as they move forward.

It was at this moment that the older version of himself spoke. ”Why?... They were just there, right in front of me. They trusted their backs to me, believing they would survive, they would return to their families as heroes, but I let them down. Damn it! Damn it!”

The older version of Alexander clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His shoulders trembled as his sclera turned red. He then looked at his hands, which were trembling.

”I... I could reach out to them, but I could not save any of them.” His voice shook, each word sounding like it had been dragged out from somewhere deep within him.

Alexander, who was listening to his older version, felt the pain, the disappointment, the sadness.

”I got stronger... I tried my hardest to keep getting stronger,” the older Alexander continued, his breathing uneven. ”I thought if I just kept moving forward, if I just pushed harder, just a little bit more... Then one day, no one would have to die in front of my eyes.”

He knelt on the ground and let out a broken laugh. ”I was a fool... A naive fool... In the end... No matter what I did... No matter how much I sacrificed... It was never, ever enough!”

Despite wanting to cry, wanting to despair, even that was not allowed to the Hero Alexander. ”I just wanted to protect those who cried for help. To the people who just wanted to live their lives.”

The older Alexander’s voice faltered for a brief moment, as if the words themselves were too heavy to carry. His trembling hands slowly tightened into fists once more.

”I just wanted to make sure they could go back home.”

The old Alexander lowered his head, his eyes closed. ”Was my wish so hard to achieve?” Alexander did not want to return and once again tell those families that their important family member is no longer there.

”Can I truly bear so much pain, without breaking?” The young Alexander asked himself. Not once had Alexander ever imagined himself breaking like this.

Even Lucen, who had seen every route, had never seen Alexander broken. He was always a shining beacon of hope, never faltering, never wavering, but this old Alexander seemed to be far different.

”If I could, I would give up my life just to bring them back.” As soon as he said those words, somebody slapped the older Alexander’s face.

Alexander, who was watching from the side, was feeling his chest in so much pain and was quite shocked by the sudden development.

The woman who slapped the older Alexander was someone the younger one did not know, but for some reason, he felt a familiarity looking at the woman.

She was quite a beautiful woman, with long, raven black hair, piercing, deep dark eyes.

”You fool!”

Her voice cut through the battlefield like a blade, sharp and unyielding. The sound echoed, not just in the air, but deep within Alexander’s chest.

The older Alexander did not retaliate. He did not even lift his head. The mark of her hand remained on his face, yet he showed no reaction, as if he believed he deserved it.

”Don’t you dare say such things! After everything they entrusted to you?!” the woman continued, her voice trembling from anger and sadness.

”They followed you, knowing full well what kind of path you walk. They trusted you not because you could save everyone, but because you would stand at the very front when no one else would! Because you gave them what they desired the most, you gave them hope for a better tomorrow.”

The older Alexander’s fingers dug into the ground.

”What hope did I ever bring? All I gave their families was sorrow and doom. What tomorrow? They no longer have a tomorrow, as they lie there on the ground!”

Hearing what the older Alexander said, the woman gnashed her teeth and shouted.

”What would Mina and Cael say if they saw you now! They, too, believed in you, much more than anyone else. They fought for the future you promised! If you fall here now, then all of their sacrifices would have been meaningless!”

When the younger Alexander heard what the woman shouted, he had his eyes wide open. Did Mina and Cael die in this world?

Alexander’s breath caught in his throat. The words echoed in his mind, refusing to fade. Mina... Cael... Those names struck deeper than anything the older version had said.

’No… that’s not possible.’

They were strong, stronger than most. Cael was so much stronger than he was now; he would never fall so easily. Mina, the person who was always right behind him, how could she fall while he lives? They weren’t the kind of people who would just... Die.

Alexander then remembered that before seeing all this, the last memory he had was of Mina on the ground, unconscious. Before Alexander’s thoughts became even more turbulent, he heard the older version of himself speak.

”... You don’t understand.” His voice was hoarse, but it carried a weight that pressed down on everything around him.

The woman’s expression hardened. ”Then explain it to me, so that I can understand.”

The older Alexander let out a slow breath. ”You’re right. I stood at the front every time... I fought harder than anyone. I pushed myself further than I ever thought I could. I did everything that I could do, and far beyond that, wanting, hoping, that I could save just one more person...”

Alexander bit his lips as blood flowed out. ”Yet no matter what, they die, and I can’t do a single thing about it!”

The battlefield felt heavier. The air itself seemed to thicken. ”I always reached out my hands to save anyone willing to take it, but I’m always a step too late! I can never truly reach them...”

The woman clenched her teeth, feeling the older Alexander’s turmoil, his regrets, his suffering. ”That doesn’t mean-”

”It always happens.” Her words stopped. The older Alexander’s voice did not rise; it did not need to.

”It doesn’t matter what I do! It doesn’t matter how much stronger I become... Or how much I try. They still die in front of me!”

The woman then suddenly hugged Alexander. ”Even so, we must... We must continue onward!”

The older Alexander did not move. The woman’s arms tightened around him, as if she was afraid that if she let go, he would collapse completely.

Seeing how worried the woman was because of him, the older Alexander glanced at the dead bodies of his fallen comrades and sighed.

”I’m sorry... You’re right... I guess there’s nothing more to do but move forward once again. Surely at the end of this path would be a brighter tomorrow.”

Despite what he said and his tired tone, there was still an intense hope burning inside of him.

The younger Alexander felt that flame emanating from the tired older version of himself. It was faint and rather unsteady, but even then it refused to go out.

’So even like this, I still haven’t been broken.’ A small approving smile appeared on the young Alexander’s face. It was at that moment that he heard a familiar voice.

”... Alexander...” It was soft yet distant.

The scenery before him was now fading as the voice grew louder. The battlefield had shattered, but not all at once. It cracked, as if it were glass.

The corpses blurred, the cold wind vanished, and the older Alexander faded.

”... Alexander!” The voice was no longer distant. It was right beside him.

***

Alexander’s eyes snapped open, and air rushed into his lungs.

”Ha!”

His chest heaved. His body jerked slightly as if pulled back from somewhere deep. He then looked around and saw that he was no longer in the forest. The smell of blood was gone.

He felt like he had another one of those dreams that were not clear, but as he was trying to remember it, somebody suddenly lunged at him.

”Alexander! You’re finally awake!”

That was the moment Alexander realized the people in his surroundings. The village elder, his parents, Mina’s parents, a few hunters, and Mina herself were hugging him.

Alexander lay still on the bed, surrounded by familiar voices and worried faces. He listened to them, but his thoughts drifted elsewhere.

The dream he had just seen was already gone, fading faster than he could grasp it. He could not remember what he had seen.

Yet for some reason, his heart felt heavier than before, as if he had just stood at the end of a path that no longer existed, but in that weight, he also felt somewhat satisfied.