Otherworldly Evil Monarch

By the time Jun Mo Xie returned home, Tang Yuan had been waiting a long time for him. In fact, Tang Yuan had reached the Jun residence minutes after Jun Mo Xie had left the place.

“Is it tomorrow?” Jun Mo Xie crossed his legs as he sat down and asked.

“Yes, tomorrow!” Tang Yuan nodded like a rooster on the way to the butcher’s. Although his eyes still reflected a slight trace of hope in them: “Third young master, my brother, I’m relying on you here.”

Then the fat man moved closer to Jun Mo Xie and hugged him!

“Fatty, don’t make me vomit, okay. If you do as I say, you will be fine.” Jun Mo Xie hadn’t been able to comfort Tang Yuan these past few days, and as a result the Fat man’s hands and feet had been trembling with fear the entire time.

The Eunuch Old Zhu [Zhu Lao], was definitely going to be very thorough with his investigation, and would go far beyond checking just the Xuan Qi of the applicants. In fact, given his disposition, it was evident that he’d play by the rules, and was highly unlikely to favor anyone without merit. Moreover, he’d execute the process very meticulously. No matter what task His Majesty asked Old Zhu to carry out, the Emperor would always carry a sense of trust that the task would be carried out to the letter.

In addition to being very meticulous and precise with his work and responsibilities, Old Zhu had another rather strange habit: An extreme obsession with cleanliness.

Obsession with cleanliness isn’t a problem in its own, and many people are cleanliness oriented. The habit of keeping their environment neat and clean isn’t an issue when it comes to normal people, but the Eunuch, Old Zhu’s obsession was way over the top. He would bathe twice each day, regardless of the season; even excess work load couldn’t deter him from taking two baths a day. After each wash, he’d change his clothes right down to his undergarments.

Even if someone touched a tree on the road, Old Zhu would refrain from coming in direct contact with the man from the fear of catching an illness; even His Majesty couldn’t help feeling a bit strange about Old Zhu’s obsession with cleanliness. It is said that even when His Majesty offers Old Zhu a seat to sit on, the Eunuch first takes out his towel to wipe the chair, and only then does he sit on it; but only half way. He refrains from sitting on the chair properly to avoid heating his buttocks….. these strange actions of Old Zhu were known to leave the Emperor stunned and wondering about the man’s sanity…..

As for his personal belonging, no one was allowed to touch them. Regardless of the value of an item, if someone touched his belongings, then the Eunuch would discard the object; obviously the person would have to pay back in some respect….. regardless of which body part of the said person came in contact with his personal belonging, the said body part would be chopped off, even if the contact wasn’t deliberate…..

The all-seeing Emperor had decided to make the best use of Old Zhu’s obsession and had bestowed him with the charge of the Imperial Palace’s cleanliness. Obviously, the palace maids were always complaining under his charge. However, the effect was quite marvelous, and the Imperial Palace was regarded as one of the cleanest places in the entire kingdom!

Old Zhu’s obsession with cleanliness was a well-known matter, and since everyone knew about it, most people tried their best to avoid coming in contact with him altogether for the fear of offending the Old man as the aftermath was usually considered to be quite devastating. Naturally, Jun Mo Xie had no difficulty in finding out about this matter.

Jun Mo Xie was planning on doing the exact diametric opposite of this, and was hoping that it would help in destroying Tang Yuan’s chances of passing the examination!

The Old Eunuch took his work and responsibilities so seriously, that in case there was a problem with Tang Yuan, he wouldn’t refrain from mentioning it in his report; even if the fat man belonged to a very influential family.

So naturally, Jun Mo Xie was planning on taking advantage of Old Zhu’s obsession with cleanliness to strike out Tang Yuan’s chances of getting in!

“Fatty, take this medicine pill one hour before your medical test. Then, when this comes into play, everything will…..” Jun Mo Xie winked.

“I will not… this is so disgusting…….” Tang Yuan hesitated as Jun Mo Xie handed the pill over to him.

“Then there’s nothing that I can do. I have given you a solution, but the rest is up to you. You decided whether you wish to live the life of an insect or that of a free man…. hmmmm, hmmm…..” Jun Mo Xie hummed twice.

“Okay!” Tang Yuan clutched the pill tightly in his hands as the fat flesh on his face distorted a bit: “I’ll go all out this time!”

“Face it like a brave warrior!” Jun Mo Xie patted him on the shoulder with a friendly look on his face: “I wish you the best of luck, and I’ll silently be standing behind you as you succeed in this mission; my spirit will be there to support you.”

“Is there anything that you can do about the beating that I will get after I fail this test?” Tang Yuan asked in a worried manner: “After this happens, I’m pretty sure that my father will peal my skin off, and he will probably never give me any money again…..”

“I can only sympathize with you in that regard…..” Jun Mo Xie sighed deeply as he looked at his friend’s impassioned face: “This will be a thing of the past soon enough, and you’ll forget about it sooner than you think. But make sure that you remember this: You mustn’t forget to skip your breakfast…. Don’t eat anything in the morning, okay?”

Tang Yuan nodded solemnly: “I will remember that.”

Once Tang Yuan was out of sight, Jun Mo Xie bent down and squatted on the floor while he laughed his lungs out; it took him a while to regain his composure and posture again……

Jun Mo Xie was quite confident that plan would work.

But Jun Mo Xie could’ve never imagined that this issue with Tang Yuan would become a very special and insanely hilarious incident, which would amuse the entire Xuan Xuan continent for centuries to come, making this story a legend, and Tang Yuan a near ‘celebrity’!……

Tang Yuan was on his way out of the Jun residence when he ran straight into Jun Zhan Tian. Since the two men came face to face, there was nowhere for Tang Yuan to hide. Therefore, he stepped forward and made his salutations.

“Fatty, you came here to see Mo Xie? Did you lose your wife again?” Jun Zhan Tian glared at Tang Yuan: “What are you doing? Look at Mo Xie, he’s completely changed his life around; you also need to grow up!”

Tang Yuan started panicking since he didn’t wish to lose face in front of the general! Some times when youngsters are faced with a powerful and majestic presence, they tend to stammer if they are unable to find an answer for a question: “No, no.” He had already hidden his hand behind his back subconsciously.

“Nothing? Then why are you looking so scared?” the Old man seemed a bit puzzled: “What are you holding in your hand? Stretch out your hand so this old man can see it properly.”

“No, there’s nothing…..” Tang Yuan immediately got nervous and started shaking his head. He took one step backwards, and then suddenly tripped over something and fell to the ground with a thud.

Jun Zhan Tian laughed out loudly: “You look like a scared little child….. don’t be afraid of my position, it’s not like I’ll go to war with you…..” then Jun Zhan Tian stepped inside the Jun residence laughing, not bothering himself with Tang Yuan any further.

Tang Yuan stood up and wiped the sweat off his forehead, and then suddenly realized that the pill had disappeared from his hand; he presumed that the pill must have fallen down when he tumbled over. This obviously wasn’t a trivial matter, so Tang Yuan immediately knelt to the floor in search of the pill, and it took him the greater part of the evening to search for his lost life-saving pill. Due to this ruckus, Tang Yuan confused Jun Mo Xie’s directions, ‘Don’t forget your breakfast’, and started to believe that Jun Mo Xie had asked him to eat a hearty breakfast instead of going empty stomach!

I don’t think that eating breakfast is a good idea….. but the third young master specifically told me to eat, so I must trust his judgement. I’ll eat properly before I leave for the examination. Since this thought crossed his mind, his stomach naturally started growling for food.

Next morning, Tang Yuan stuffed his belly round and smooth, burped, and then followed his father on his rickety horse to the Imperial Palace.

Minster Tang was very proud of his status. Therefore, in order to prevent any mishaps, he had already put Tang Yuan through a full body examination, and was hence confident that there would no issues with regard to his son’s qualification since being overweight was unlikely to be a problem.

What should I be afraid of? As the saying goes, a man mustn’t worry about his weight! Minister Tang looked at his fat son atop the struggling horse and smiled.

Once they reached the Imperial palace, Tang Yuan sat down in the designated waiting area in anticipation of his impending medical examination. When only one hour remained, he quickly swallowed the pill which he had received from Jun Mo Xie. Since his throat felt a bit dry, he irrigated it with some cold water to comfort himself.

A total of nine people had applied for the position, out of which four people belonged to high-class families, while the other five were talented scholars. Seeing such strong competition for the post, Minister Tang was relieved that he had already arranged for his son’s selection!

He was completely unaware that the plan his son had formulated with the help of his best-friend, Jun Mo Xie would turn into a big headache for him. If their plan was successful, then he would lose a big chuck out of his life’s savings…..

In reality, Minister Tang was already doomed to lose his saving…..

Old Zhu’s examination method was very strict and scientific, which had left the applicants very nervous.

Everyone had heard that even though Mu Rong Qian Jun had been selected the last time around…. He was left limping for nearly a month afterwards……

So what exactly did he do to Mu Rong Qian Jun during the examination? As the applicants started becoming increasingly nervous, they started harboring sympathetic thoughts for their predecessor…..

If we get selected, then there’s a chance that we might even end up getting crippled in the process! If we wash out, then it will be a big humiliation……