Otherworldly Evil Monarch

(TL’s note: Our first Sponsored Chapter. This chapter was sponsored by Siti Karomaniah from Indonesia.)

Dugu Wudi’s face had gone black with rage. He threw the money on the table, but couldn’t help feeling a little oppressed; It is hard to imagine that an honest and upright man like Jun Wu Hui’s son would turn out to be such a rascal!

Jun Mo Xie got up and walked out of the room; he returned a while later, with several other men, each of whom was carrying a small jar of wine: “Well, we need to stuff their stomachs with this wine until they throw up, and vomit out the other wine!”

Mixing two different wines can be a very effective cure in some cases!

“Are you playing with me?” Dugu Wudi was even more enraged now: “You think that I haven’t already tried this? I had their stomachs stuffed with all kinds of wines, but they didn’t vomit!”

“How would you know what’s right? They got drunk because they stole my secret wine! I’m the only one who knows that wine’s potency and abilities. They drank so much of it and have been very badly intoxicated by it! It’s only due to their extraordinary physique and high Xuan Qi that they are still alive! If an average person drank that much of my wine, then they would have already died from its intoxication! But in order to dissipate the wine’s effects, you first need to know its functioning ah.”

“Even if you forced another wine down their throats, and tried to make it react to the wine which is already present inside their stomachs, then it may not bear the desired result since the nature of each wine is very unusual and different from the other! I brewed that wine myself, and only I know its true blend, and the effects of that blend! So, only I can cure its hangover, do you understand it now? In order to apply common sense, you still need to have some basic knowledge and experience, right? General?” Jun Mo Xie’s reply and tone were merciless.

“Even if what you say is true, it does not take…. Seven jars of wine? They didn’t take so much of your ‘secret’ wine in the first place?! You’re obviously blackmailing me!” Dugu Wudi didn’t really understand the nature of the wine’s intoxication, but was still trying to use his general knowledge on the subject to accuse Jun Mo Xie while tactfully trying to avoid the real issue which was bothering him: These wine jars cost nearly twelve thousand taels each! That’s too much ah.

“I haven’t even started selling my wine publicly yet, so this is actually my first sale.” Jun Mo Xie started collecting the money: “So basically, I’m giving you this for a very cheap price…. And it may not be this cheap next time ah!”

Even though Dugu Wudi’s face had become even blacker with rage at this moment, he turned around and left since he was afraid that he might end up losing his temper. He really didn’t want to beat this kid up…. He was the young master of the Jun Family after all.

… ….

“It was reported that you were teasing the Dugu Family’s girl?” old man Jun smiled as he squinted his eyes and readjusted his gaze to look at his grandson.

“Grandpa, no, I don’t know that savage girl is saying! I don’t know why the Dugu family is claiming that I bullied their daughter…. She has been teasing me, okay?” Jun Mo Xie sighed, almost as he if felt wronged by the accusation: “This is ridiculous!”

“What’s so ridiculous about this? It’s simple; that girl fancies you!” the old man revealed a cunning smile: “If that girl didn’t have a crush on you, then she wouldn’t be acting so naughty. Dugu Zongheng, that old bastard…..he probably knew this all along, and is just trying to play dumb in front of everyone. He thought that I won’t be able to see through his scheme?”

“What scheme?” Jun Mo Xie was genuinely very surprised. He really hadn’t spotted anything unusual about this matter.

“Dugu Xiao Yi fancies you like the little fool she is, but the Dugu family will be reluctant in making you their son-in-law; on the other hand, even the King will not allow you to marry someone from the Dugu Family, which is quite obvious, right?” Jun Zhan Tian stroked his beard.

“Of course I understand. If two such powerful military families of the Tian Xiang empire were unified in a bond of marriage, then the royal family will feel threatened.” Jun Mo Xie nodded. He was finally beginning to understand some parts now.

“No, you still don’t!” Jun Zhan Tian seemed a bit gloomy that his grandson was unable to see through such a basic scheme.

“The Dugu family is just trying to prepare for the worst. If Dugu Xiao Yi tries to commit suicide over not being able to marry you, then the Dugu Family will try to use it and will try take it out on us, and when that time comes, they will need more reasons to attack us; when this happens, the two families will be pointing swords at each other; but that will just be to deceive the public, do you get it? Even though his Majesty will not want to the Dugu Family’s pampered daughter to be married into the Jun Family, but it will still be a better scenario then a complete falling out between the two families!”

“And at that time, in order to prevent a huge internal strife in the kingdom, His Majesty himself will turn into a matchmaker for the two of you. Understand it now? Dugu Zongheng sent his seven pups here to create trouble… that was his way of creating an alibi for stirring trouble later on! That old moron must be feeling very proud right now… humph!”

“That old bastard thinks that he’s too smart and everyone else is a fool. Didn’t he even once think that the Emperor is a lot smarter than him? What a pig! If we don’t prepare for this in advance, then we might end up taking a lot of damage!”

Jun Mo Xie repeatedly uttered ‘uh’, as listened to this; dumbstruck. It’s surprising that these old guys have so much time to formulate such weird schemes, at this rate….

“That can’t happen….” Old man Jun looked at his grandson and winked: “You can’t marry her! Whatever you did with her, without being married to her, is fine; but I will not allow that old bastard to marry off his grand-daughter to my grandson!”

Jun Mo Xie was practically sweating bullets…..

When the grandfather is leading with such examples, then there’s no point in blaming the grandson ah..…

“We need to put this matter off early; otherwise this will cause a big headache later on. I can’t believe that he thought that I’d let him marry his granddaughter to my grandson!” Grandfather Jun seemed a bit out of tune: “The first sign of you rising to power, and everyone wants to befriend you ah; even the three princes are fighting with each other to curry favors with you….”

“I can’t help…. I’m just naturally handsome.” Jun Mo Xie touched his chin, feeling a bit impressed with himself.

“Of course you are very handsome! Why wouldn’t you be? You’re a son of the Jun Family!” if Jun Mo Xie was pleased with his looks, then Jun Zhan Tian was practically on the verge of narcissism. “But that doesn’t mean that this kind of things should happen. You probably had a few flings with a few girls along the way, but this will be slightly more difficult to deal with. And as far as those three princes are concerned; I tell you, those three are a bad deal. Once they stick to you, you won’t be able to shake them off. And don’t think that you’re smarter than them… they will betray you whenever it suits them! Understand?”

“Well, I understand. In fact, my real intention is….” Jun Mo Xie was about to give an idea to prepare for the uncertainties…..

“Oh, just don’t okay? Your private affairs do not concern me, but just keep the Jun Family’s name out of it.” old man Jun promptly waved his arm to interrupt Jun Mo Xie, and then left the room with his hands folded behind his back.

Jun Mo Xie was quite angry with this situation, especially since he wasn’t allowed to express his opinion. He had struggled a long time to create his new image, and he was suddenly left looking like a fool all over again….

The young master of the Jun Family shook his head, and made his way towards the courtyard where fatty Tang was anxiously waiting for him.

It had been a long time since they had last seen each other. Jun Mo Xie had gotten busy with healing his uncle, and then helping him during his physical rehabilitation, post which he had accompanied his uncle for a tour…. and it had almost been a month since he had seen his friend now. However, he had thought about the meatball’s wellbeing a few times though!

But all that sentiment vanished the moment he saw the fatty again….

That huge meatball had been constantly asking a little Lolita, who was looking after the guests in the courtyard: “When will he be back….?”

“Why hasn’t he returned yet…. What?”

And then he had also asked: “He didn’t die during his trip right…….?”

The little maid at the reception was quite scared of the seemingly grim and dejected body language of the big-fat man. She was afraid that if the man accidently or intentionally tumbled over, and fell on top of her little body, then given her small physical structure, she would inevitably get crushed to death underneath him….

“Hey fatty, what are you doing here?” Jun Mo Xie was holding the three invitations in his hand; although he felt as if he was holding three bombs. The three brothers weren’t on good terms with each other, and since all three of them wished to see him at the same time…. then something was definitely going on. He was already having a headache and then this huge fat meatball of a body made it even worse.

“Hum… third young master, you came back; I … you have to help me out….. Brother I don’t want to live ah…. You don’t know what happened to your little brother…” Tang Yuan’s eyes and nose were leaking: “you have to help me out this time, or I’ll, I’ll just….. I …..”

“You just what? Eat till you die? Quickly tell me what happened, and wait; first tell me why I should help you!” Jun Mo Xie was sitting on a chair opposite to his friend. He looked closely, and figured that this might be a little serious: “Fatty, you seem in a really bad shape, what happened? Did you lose your wife again?!”

“Balls!” Tang Yuan cursed out loudly: “You think I’m stupid?”

“Okay then, it’s time for my sleep now.” Jun Mo Xie playfully started to get up from his seat.

“No, don’t go! You don’t know what my grandpa is doing to me; you have to help me out, or I will die for sure.” Tang Yuan hastily barred his way.

“Quickly tell me your problem; I’m very busy… I don’t have time for your silly games.” Jun Mo Xie raised his line of sight.

“Oh… woo…. Painful…. Third young master… they are sending me for castration at the palace, woo….” Tang Yuan started crying again.

“What? Your grandfather wants to you to become an imperial eunuch?! Your grandfather still loves you, right?” Jun Mo Xie seemed quite amused, and sat up straight as he stare his friend with big round eyes.

[TL’s note: (in ancient context) eunuchs are men who protect important women when their husbands are away. These men are usually castrated before they are hired for the position of a eunuch.]

“Ah yes, he wants me to become a eunuch!” Tang Yuan’s chest welled up like a mountain: “As if there are no other jobs in the palace apart from this?!”

“Of course there are other jobs in the palace, but none of them will suit you; you’re barely good enough for this one as it is!” Jun Mo Xie rubbed his chin and shrugged his shoulders, before breaking into a provocative laughter.

“What do you mean? You think that I’m only good enough to be a eunuch? Are you trying to piss me off?!” even though Tang Yuan felt quite agrieved and indignant, he couldn’t find more tears to express it properly.

“Alright, then why don’t you tell me about your other qualities? What would you be good at?” Jun Mo Xie ignored the fatty’s anger and continued to laugh lightly.

“I have a lot of qualities, such as……” the fatty thought for a long time, but couldn’t come up with anything!

“For example, you could help your grandfather by forging a good relationship with the generals of the Mu Rong army?” Jun Mo Xie realized that the man was already quite embarrassed and decided that he shouldn’t tease the man any further; so he smiled and gave his fat friend a hint.

“Yes, that’s really it!” the fatty’s gloomy faced suddenly lit up: “I didn’t get it earlier when my grandfather explained it; he said that he had good relationships inside the imperial palace, at all levels, and even with the man who carries out the medical examination of the eunuchs. So basically, he will set things up, and wants me to…..”