One Trait Draw Per Year Even Simulations Count

[Year Sixty, Age Eighty-Four.]

[Extracting trait tag...]

[Extraction successful!]

[”Happy Water Freedom” (Green Rare): You obtain one 2L bottle of Happy Water every day.]

[Adjust trait tag?]

[Yes/No]

[You chose Yes.]

[You replaced ”Cross-Dressing Big Shot” with ”Unlimited White Porridge”.]

[You replaced ”Mortal Bones” with ”Someone Is Copying My Face”.]

[You replaced ”Civil War God” with ”Zilong! Zilong!”.] [While traveling, you kept the Celestial Emperor bellyband wrapped around Ah Dou so that if you were suddenly ambushed, Ah Dou would be safe.]

[With ”Unlimited White Porridge,” the two of you finally had proper staple food, no longer living only on rations and wild roasted meat.]

[Although Ah Dou was not yet three years old, probably because he had already been through a lot,]

[without you telling him, he also knew not to cry randomly, not to act spoiled, and to endure discomfort while on the road.]

[The more obedient such a little child was, the more your heart ached.]

”At least humans should have the right to grow up normally...”

You could only hope this child truly had the bearing of a Celestial Emperor, that one day he might rip through the universe.

Along the way, Ah Dou liked the Ten Thousand Souls Banner the most.

He often grabbed and yanked at the banner’s fabric like a toy.

The Ten Thousand Souls Banner, naturally, flew into a rage.

”I, the illustrious Human Emperor Banner, the bravest immortal artifact in the human world! How can I be tugged and twisted about by an ignorant child—what a disgrace! Waaahhh!!”

However, the angrier the Ten Thousand Souls Banner became and the louder it roared, the happier Ah Dou laughed.

”Ke ke ke...”

Old Wan had an iron heart; the child’s innocent and carefree expression would not stir him one bit.

He was a murderous evil artifact; other immortal artifacts were not.

When the child smiled, the other artifacts immediately put on maternal faces and made goo-goo sounds.

Demon Refining Pot: ”Why you gotta be so fierce! What’s so great about that ragged banner? Let the kid play! Here, Ah Dou, play away! Your Pot Grandpa has your back!”

Immortal-Binding Rope: ”Old Wan, fretting over a child like that makes you lose face.”

Heavenly Dragon Blade: ”I despise artifacts like that, ugh—bleh!”

Nine Crows Divine Bow: ”Caw caw likes the baby! Caw caw hates Wan Wan!”

The assembled immortal artifacts lambasted the Ten Thousand Souls Banner.

Pressed by the need to maintain his grand image, the Ten Thousand Souls Banner could only swallow his anger and bear the humiliation, occasionally scolding a little.

Ah Dou laughed happily, forgetting the troubles of the journey.

”Uncle Chen, the artifact grandpas are arguing again.”

The corner of your mouth twitched.

”Call them elder-artifact brothers, otherwise our ranks drop.”

Suddenly, the Ten Thousand Souls Banner discovered an issue.

”Wait a minute, our artifact spirits don’t actually speak aloud; it’s only waves of thought. Cultivators using spells or divine sense hearing us is unsurprising. How can this child hear us talking?”

You smiled.

”You just noticed?”

”Oh dear, oh dear! Could it be that this child truly has the bearing of a Celestial Emperor?”

The Ten Thousand Souls Banner’s attitude changed instantly, folding its banner surface into all sorts of shapes to amuse Ah Dou, its tone switching on the spot from supreme evil artifact to invincible steward.

”Oy vey! Little master! As long as you’re happy, this old servant rejoices from the bottom of his heart! Look at me now, today I learned a new trick~”

You: ”Old Wan, stubborn first then courteous later, doesn’t thinking about it make one laugh?”

The Ten Thousand Souls Banner pretended not to hear.

Not long after, you reached Taige’s dwelling.

Halfway up the mountain, you saw All-Knowing still performing forced labor.

”Finish applying the spirit fertilizer today or no food!”

”Senior Taige! I haven’t eaten in three days! Please let me have a full meal!”

”A dignified cultivator at the Qi Transformation realm, three days without food is nothing!”

”Momma! Cultivators are people too!”

All-Knowing wailed miserably and in return was savagely beaten by Taige with a pestle.

”I’ll apply it! I’ll apply it! Senior, don’t be mad!”

After Taige left, All-Knowing sighed deeply, tilted his head back and stared at the sky for a long time.

”People can’t afford mistakes. Punishment may be delayed, but it never fails to arrive.”

You walked over.

”Oh, you’ve made progress these years, becoming a philosopher now.”

When All-Knowing heard your voice he turned, saw it was you, and burst into tears of gratitude.

”Senior! I knew your eyes would always be watching me!”

”Of course. I’m here to take you away.”

”Wonderful! I knew the day would come—senior would never abandon me! Even if it’s late!”

”Haven’t eaten for three days? Eat first.”

You gave him a bowl of white porridge.

All-Knowing opened his mouth and poured it straight in.

”Can I have another bowl?”

”Sure.”

Bowl after bowl, plates stacked in a pile.

He assumed you had pulled them out of a storage pouch and didn’t find anything strange.

”Burp—”

”Full now?”

”Mm, I’m stuffed... so great, haven’t been this full in ages!”

”Here, take a digestion pill so you don’t feel uncomfortable.”

”You’re so thoughtful, senior.”

”You’re poisoned.”

”...”

You told All-Knowing that what he had just eaten was a lethal toxin and that he would need to take an antidote every day; if he missed it the poison would flare and kill him.

”What? Why, senior? After all these years you meet me and give me poison first—why would I have stolen from you before?”

”You’re going to discover a secret soon. I don’t want you to spill it, so I resorted to this measure. I hope you understand.”

”Senior, you’re being excessive! I would never betray you! Even though you are a lowly... human, I admire you!”

”I’m not afraid you’ll betray me, only that the child might suffer an accident.”

You turned slightly so he could see Ah Dou standing behind you.

Ah Dou waved at him, ”hi~”

Of course, you had taught him that English.

All-Knowing saw the character written on Ah Dou’s palm.

”It’s that child!”

”You know?”

”It’s passed around everywhere. Although that old bastard Taige wouldn’t let me leave, sometimes he still sent me to buy things at the market. I heard it there.”

”I’m leaving Firelight Star now with him. I want you to guide me, avoid drawing pursuit, find the safest route that leads straight to the star harbor.”

All-Knowing looked troubled.

”Senior, this kid is a hot potato, why bother... If I help you, I’ll be opposing the whole world...”

”Then I’m leaving.”

”I’ll help! Your matters are my matters!”

That poison had All-Knowing firmly in hand.

You took All-Knowing away from Taige’s place.

It wasn’t difficult; you seized the moment when Taige wasn’t paying attention.

All-Knowing was a cowardly person, afraid of being caught fleeing and beaten; you weren’t afraid of Taige.