One-Eyed Monster

”Kadi!” The Spirit Book suddenly raised its tone. ”What a goofy name, even more foolish than that Igor name I heard earlier.”

Igor, standing to the side, had a dark expression on his face, but since it was so dark, probably only Kadi could see it.

”So you’re my new master now?” The Spirit Book swayed its body and said leisurely, ”The previous one was a bit dense. I practically spent all my time sleeping when I was with him. You did a good job taking me, well done...”

”Uh, no, your master is actually the one behind you,” Kadi kindly reminded the Spirit Book.

”Oh, so you’re also a small fry being ordered around by others. Now I’m curious who I’ll have to follow. It won’t be like the last one, who just let me sit around and gather dust... Ah, why are you roasting me again? OW... it hurts!” The poor Spirit Book hadn’t even finished speaking when it suffered another wave of torment.

”I don’t think you’re roasted dry yet; you’re still spouting nonsense.” The previously silent Igor finally lost his patience. He didn’t mind being called a fool. After all, he didn’t think of himself as particularly smart. But the accusation of neglecting the book was too much. He had always treated this book as a companion, never as just a book! However, after awakening, all this book did was nag. It even had the audacity to call Kadi its master behind his back, like a complete turncoat. If he didn’t teach it a lesson, it really wouldn’t know who its true master was.

”Stop... stop...” the Spirit Book pleaded, its voice a desperate wail.

”What was that? I didn’t hear clearly. Did you tell me to roast you some more?”

”No, no! Ow, ow, it hurts...”

”Aren’t you the all-knowing Spirit Book? How can you not even know who your master is?”

”And why is it that when you were with me, you would always refer to Lord Soron? I never heard you mention anything about a ’master’.”

”Oh, I get it. It must be that I’m a fool and didn’t remember what you said.”

A seriously angry Igor is rather amusing, Kadi thought. This one-eyed monster clearly has a peculiar taste for the macabre, different from most people.

”Stop... stop!” The Spirit Book screamed hysterically. ”Do you know who you’re attacking...”

But Igor showed no sign of stopping.

”I’m the all-knowing Lord Soron! How could you treat me like this? Be careful, or I’ll crush your bones with my spellcraft!”

Igor was unmoved.

”Please... please, spare me. I’ll do whatever you want, I promise.” The Spirit Book’s voice had grown incredibly faint, like an old man tormented beyond endurance, pleading in the faintest of whispers.

”I think I just heard someone speaking,” Igor said, deliberately raising his voice. ”It sounded like they were begging me.”

”I think I heard it too,” Kadi replied, more than happy to play along with Igor’s act.

”It sounded like they said they would do anything if they were saved.”

”That’s right, that’s what they said.”

”But I don’t see anyone around!”

”Yeah, there’s nobody here!”

”Don’t... don’t... it’s me, Master, it’s me... the book in your hand...” Hearing Kadi and Igor’s back-and-forth, the Spirit Book couldn’t help but feel anxious.

”But you’re just a book. A little while ago, you were threatening to break our bones.”

”I... I was wrong... Master, I was really wrong. Please, just spare me.”

”What if I don’t want to?”

Igor’s reply left the Spirit Book at a loss for words; even Kadi stood there dumbfounded.

”If you don’t... if you don’t... if you don’t, then you can tear me apart and roast me over the fire...” The Spirit Book finally choked out.

”Hmm, got some guts there. I like that.”

”Uh...” The Spirit Book was beyond caring about the pain. Now it was just concerned about what was going to happen next.

”Given your satisfying answer, I’ve decided to take you off the fire instead of treating you like roast meat. After all, no matter how much you’re roasted, you don’t give off a meaty aroma.”

”But before I do that, you must keep your word. You have to do whatever I say.”

”Okay! Okay! Whatever you say, I promise!” The Spirit Book readily agreed.

”Ha, I’ll remember that. You’re a Spirit Book with backbone. If there’s any... friction between us in the future, don’t forget that being disassembled and roasted was your own choice.”

Although Igor’s words were a bit convoluted, Kadi managed to understand the gist.

What Igor meant is that if the Spirit Book acts insolent again, he’ll dismantle it and burn it. The Spirit Book essentially dared him to by suggesting such a ’tough’ punishment itself. Although those words were spoken out of desperation, they’re now leverage. Who knows if Igor will threaten the book with fire again, or perhaps not even release it next time? If that happens, the promise to dismantle and burn it will have to be fulfilled. On this continent, one has to stand by one’s word; it’s a basic rule of survival.

”Alright, alright, your word is law,” the Spirit Book conceded, not resisting.

”So, first question: is there a Monster Association?”

”Huh?” The Spirit Book was stunned, not expecting the first query after its escape from misery to be so absurd.

”What, you don’t know?” Igor exuded an intimidating aura.

”How is that possible? I am the omniscient Lord Soron! I am the most outstanding on the Yowein Continent...”

”Cut the crap and get to the point!” Igor interrupted the Spirit Book’s lengthy speech.

”Yes, Master!” The Spirit Book, sensing Igor was ready to toss it back into the fire, instantly became obedient. ”As far as I know, there isn’t an organization called the Monster Association on this continent.”

Kadi felt a warmth in his heart. Igor’s first question was for him, which touched him deeply. Even in the monster territory of Guru Mountain, he had never received such consideration.

”Then do you know where monsters come from?”

”This... based on my years of adventuring experience, monsters emanate from people’s hearts. People’s fear is what truly gives birth to them. What’s truly horrifying isn’t the monster, but the human heart itself.”

”Too roundabout! Why can’t you just tell me where they come from?” Igor roared.

”This... exceeds my knowledge...”

”Aren’t you the all-powerful Soron? How can you not answer such a simple question? Do you want to taste the flames again?”

”No, no, no! Where monsters come from is something I genuinely don’t know. The only thing I know is that monsters originate from a person’s heart,” the Spirit Book desperately defended itself.

”Alright, alright, I’ll trust you this time. My next question: what kind of organization is the Association of Adventurers?”

”Huh? The Association of Adventurers? What’s that again?” The Spirit Book reacted strongly.

”Don’t tell me you don’t know.”

”To my knowledge, there is no such organization on this continent.”

”How is that possible? You’re talking nonsense.”

”There are only a handful of people on the entire continent who could be considered adventurers. Just a few people! There’s no need to establish some crappy association.”

”Just... just a few people...”

”Exactly! And these adventurers are elusive. They simply don’t sit down together for heart-to-heart talks. Adventurers have their own ways of communication, which ordinary people can’t comprehend.”

”So, you’re saying being an adventurer is a very impressive profession then?”

”Based on my experience, yes, exactly.”

Igor was about to feel pleased, but on second thought, he realized something was wrong.

Firstly, the Association of Adventurers did exist; students of the Yonder Travel Academy could attest to that.

Secondly, there couldn’t be only a few adventurers on the entire continent. Igor himself knew of more adventurers than could be counted on one hand.

Lastly, this Spirit Book was probably forty or fifty years old. Events from four or five decades ago couldn’t possibly be equivalent to current affairs.

Could it be that this Spirit Book is already outdated? Igor mused. No wonder the Great Witch at the Divination House gave it away without even blinking.

”Hey, are you two doubting my answers?” Seeing Igor and Kadi both silent, the Spirit Book suddenly felt a little uneasy.

Kadi kept silent because Igor had stolen all his lines, leaving him with nothing to do but look around.

”Hmm, we have some doubts. You’re just an outdated old relic,” Igor’s response was blunt.

”Humph! I keep up with the times too. Don’t think I’m just a book that only knows what’s written on its pages.”

”You keep up with the times?” Kadi was very skeptical.

”Of course! I can’t just be a book. I am the all-knowing Lord Soron!”