On Astral Tides: From Humble Freelancer To Astral Emperor

So, this is death, right? It’s… not as painful as I feared. Dying really sucks though. Her thoughts were starting to slip away from her, sinking into the dark mud of unconsciousness. Well shit. I suppose I did all right, for being born unlucky. To think, all those years of suffering, tests and consultations, my parents gradually growing colder and colder towards me, resenting the money it cost to keep me alive… and it turns out I’m a magical girl, born into a world without any damn magic. It’s enough to make anyone laugh, right? It was hard to concentrate, and the distracting noises from outside were echoing in her head, unpleasant and making her chest ache. How does my chest even hurt? I’m dying or dead… but… please, Aki, stop crying. This is for the best. I… well, sure, I wanted to live. Tan showed me I could be special like I wanted. But… you have so much more to live for.

Are you sure? Is that really true?

Tan? Is that… is that you? Sorry I guess… I ruined all your plans. But… leave it to Aki. He’ll take care of it. She laughed internally, bitter yet still a little happy. Aki, taking care of it. Never thought I’d say that, but… he’s changed. Hey, Tan, do you think it’s because he got powers too, or…

No. He is like you. Thirsty, deep inside. But his thirst is for the happiness of others.

So, you are saying I’m selfish, right? Way to make me feel bad when I’m already dying. That’s cold, Tan. I thought you liked me. But I get it. I dreamed of being a princess, loved and adored, the world shining, a bright future ahead of me. But like all dreams, we have to wake up don’t… if she could scream, she suddenly would have, as knifing pain tore through her, multiple points of agony flaring. Shit, come on, death! If I’m going to die just let me die painlessly. I had enough suffering when I was alive!

That fool of a man, he… is…

Tan, Tan? Are you still there? Am I alone? Ugh, she’s gone… quiet. More pain, as if something was being cut from her, her dim consciousness fading more. Still, I guess… the last few years weren’t so bad. Friends. For me. Hayato, the group leader, who welcomed me warmly, made me feel included. Shy Hina, who struggled to fit in with such an outgoing otaku group, despite her secret love of manga and gaming. Shugo, a bit introverted and with a thing for cheery, girl-next-door types… why the hell am I thinking about that now? Ugh, stop with the pain. And please stop crying Aki. It makes me regret this, and I shouldn’t… Now the stabbing pains had changed, and it was as if fire was flowing into her, burning through her body in unusual ways. To distract herself from the pain, continuing to wait for her inevitable death, she continued to reminisce, the happy memories easing her regrets. Aimi. Damn, she’s got a body on her. Totally unlike the usual image of a gamer girl. Wait, I’m even hotter and I’m a gamer girl, right? Well, she was funny, flirty, charming… to be honest, I modelled a lot of my own personality on her. After all, it isn’t like I had any girl friends growing up. Any friends at all… Yasu, poor foolish Yasu. Still, being the butt of all the jokes is an important role, and if push came to shove, he’d always be there. Yasu, if there’s an afterlife and I meet a god, I’ll ask them to send you a girlfriend… well, maybe I could have asked Tan? No, then what if she sent me to him? Ugh, sickening…

Inside her mind she managed a rusty chuckle, but it was tinged with shame. Tan? Are you there? I can’t believe you danced with my body in such a shameful state in front of Aki. I was so embarrassed I could just have died… oh wait, I guess I did.

Shiro…

Yes, Tan? I’m listening…

I do care for you. Believe me.

I know, I do. Though I have to wonder… did you brainwash me, like you tried to do to Aki? If so… was anything real?

I do not brainwash anyone. I allure. Only those with no desires at all, such as the Buddha, or single-minded desires too great to stoke can resist me. And him. Tan sounded stressed and pained, her voice echoing in her darkening mind. I simply free the desires you hold within. It works better on men, of course. But even so… your desires were pure and beautiful. I simply fuelled them. I cannot make anyone do what they do not wish to, only that which they secretly desire, well-hidden and buried deep within…

I see. Aki did keep saying I was stupid. Ugh, if I wasn’t dying I’d give him a piece of my mind. It all seemed perfectly logical to me at the time. But then I guess I had a lot pent up inside me for you to unleash, huh?

There was silence, only more pain flowing through her as Tan didn’t answer. Oh. I’m all alone again. just like before. Still, today… I wasn’t, was I? I can still feel it. Odd. It’s all I can feel, that and pain. The delicate petals on the ring were cool against her burning fingers, fingers she shouldn’t even be able to feel. Shit, I got engaged. I wonder what my worthless parents would say? Always complaining I was a bad daughter, saying I’d never give them grandkids or even get married. Well fuck you, guess who got engaged? Oh… but I guess I’m still not getting married, am I? Shit. Aki… I never meant to break my promise to you. But I’d rather die than you die. After all, Eri, Shaeula, the other girls you mentioned… they’d be heartbroken if you were gone, right? Tan, why couldn’t you listen to me? We could have worked something out…

My thirst for him was too great. You do not understand. The seeds from a World Tree Fruit… so precious. Every Pantheon has some closely guarded treasures… to think someone must have carried them down here… If I could consume them, I would surely be able to triumph here. And the blessing from Tyr, pristine and unused… well, can you blame a starving being for wishing to eat the meal in front of them?

You know what, I think I can! That’s no meal, that’s Aki! Shit, this was the best day of my life! I thought it was going to suck and make things real awkward with him from now on, so I started the day feeling just awful, and then it was one happy surprise after another. And I realised… I could totally love Aki, and see myself with him. Shit. At least I’m not a total loser, got a kiss before I died. Oh, and flashed him my tits. Thanks for embarrassing me there Tan…

Search your thoughts, your heart. You wanted to be special, a princess. Someone who mattered. You offer him your love, all of it, and in return he gives you… what, merely a seventh of his? Does that not ache your heart, leave you thirsty for more?

Oh, alluring me again huh? Well yes, you think I’m happy about it? Obviously not. But you think Eri loves sharing? I bet she doesn’t. Life… life isn’t perfect is it? I know that better than anyone, poor, helpless little Shirohime, a burden on everyone. He told me he loves me and… can’t you hear him wailing, crying out, Tan? Have a heart. Shit, this isn’t what I wanted at all…

But it is not fair, is it? He would cast you aside, force your death, by not giving up Shaeula. He must have known her but a fraction of the time he has spent with you, the time he professed mattered to him. If he loves you, surely he would choose you over her. Now… now you are dying. For him. Is he worthy of your sacrifice?

You know something, that’s a really nasty way to put it, Tan. I’m disappointed… oh shit, why does this hurt so much? Death should be calm and empty, right? Crap, well… anyway I think maybe before, I would have felt pretty bad about that, yeah. But… The ring was cold to her fading touch. Shit, Tan. Aki… you can’t tell me he doesn’t love me. And… just say he had agreed to betray Shaeula, abandon his childhood friend, toss aside the others, love only me… well, is that really even Aki at all? Aki is Aki precisely because he’s an idiot, a siscon, too stupid to know when a girl is clearly crushing on him. I mean, come on! He used to talk about his sister and Eri all the time when drunk, anyone with ears could tell Eri was into him! And to be honest, maybe I was a little too, though I didn’t even know it myself, disguising it with playful bullying and banter. Damn, I’m such a kid.

Search your feelings, my white princess. You must have such rage, such anger at him. He promised to make you happy, carry your burdens, instead you die for him, and he cannot…

Shup up, shut up, shut up! Shit, I hope I was red-haired then, that would have been apt. Look, Tan… how is any of this Aki’s fault? We made the deal, didn’t we? Sure, you may have had good reasons, but how can I fault Aki for that?

Because he…

Why are you trying so hard to make me turn on him? I don’t get it. When I die, you’ll be banished, right? Better run on home fast, because Aki sounded mad pissed at you. Best hope he doesn’t find you! Come on, listen to how he’s hurting, how angry he is with you, and try and tell me he doesn’t love me! Damn, I get it… she would have smiled, full of mirth, if she could control her body …if he just wanted me for my looks, or because he felt sorry for me, or anything stupid like that, like I’ve always feared… why would he be going so far for me now? Why would he weep for me and rage? Aki has lots of cute girls who like him, he doesn’t need me. So… it must be love. Shit, I saw it too late. Now I feel bad…

… are you satisfied then? In the end? Can you pass on with no regrets?

Shit, no I’m not satisfied! I don’t… I don’t regret accepting you, Tan. It might have been wrong, selfish, maybe even evil, but… it was obviously what I wanted, what I needed, deep down. Else you wouldn’t have been able to allure me into it, right?

… … …

Well, who knows, without these events, maybe things would have been different. It seems like Aki was going to make his move regardless, but maybe I’d have turned him down, that seems like something I could have done. But I didn’t. I hardened my heart to reject him, and he slid in like a wolf, devouring me. Hah, is that why you are so pissed, Tan? Aki was the one who had a good meal. I guess… I’m sorry he couldn’t eat all of me! He really missed out. But today… for a few hours, it was everything I ever wanted. So I’ll have to be satisfied with that.

No, you are not satisfied. I know, I can feel your thirst. Give someone a drop of water in the desert and they are happy, relieved, exultant. But then… the craving for more of that sweet water consumes them. I know you lie to me, to yourself…

Of course I’m lying to myself. The pain in her heart was more agonising than the fiery sawing tortures that were savaging her body. How else can… can I handle this? I’m not scared of death, I told myself. It’s been my constant companion for as long as I can remember. I could faint and crack my skull, catch a bad cold and die from infection. My heart could just simply stop beating. So I had made my peace with that. But now… I find myself wanting to see what the future holds. Spend more time with Aki, hold hands, kiss. Maybe do something more. Finish my game, fight together, get married. Meet his sister, the other girls. Spend more time with Hayato, Aimi and the gang. Tell them I’m happy to be in love. I don’t get any of that now. Of course I fucking want more, Tan! How could I not? But we don’t always…

… fine. Be silent. Princess who is no longer white. A pale ghost with a thirst waiting to be quenched. Save your strength, and hope…

Hope… hope for what?

That the man you say you love has enough strength to overturn death itself, and the will, the thirst for you, to drive through impossibility…

********

“Shit!” I wailed, furious, my Eye blazing. “What the fuck do I do? How can I fix this? Kin Restoration and Bonding? No, she’s not bonded to me yet. Fuck… if my sister can be, why isn’t Shiro? No, look, calm down.” I told myself, Resilience slowly eroding the panic, bringing me back to an equilibrium, my rapid breathing slowing, heart calming, though tears still sprang from my eyes endlessly, obscuring my vision. Angrily, I dashed them away, my Eye examining every inch of the still Shiro.

Fuck, that network really is a travesty. But I know what a perfect one looks like. Still, there was the mess that was Tan attached. Her network was wildly different to anything I had seen before, numerous chakras in strange arrangements, concentrated whirlpools of adherence as well, and there was little hope of my making sense of it all. When I tried to examine Tan, all I ended up with was masses of question marks filling my vision.

“Right… maybe if I cut Tan away first…” I focused aether into a point close to Shiro’s root chakra, where Tan had one of her glittering capillaries twisted in, and with a slash I severed it. Moments later I wished I hadn’t, as Shiro spasmed and jerked in pain, her dying self weakening further. Even Tan was seemingly injured by it, as her voice came from Shiro’s body as though she was speaking from a great distance away, one eye popping open, looking at me dully, her red orb glowing.

“Fool. Do you wish to speed her passing? If you intend to grant her a merciful death, aim for the heart, do not slice away at her like some foolish butcher.”

“You do know, if she dies, I’ll try everything to kill you before you can leave this place.” I warned Tan, dashing away more tears. The hot flames of my mind were cooling now, Resilience finally having choked out the hysteria, leaving me abnormally calm, yet with a cold anger that threatened to spring back to flame at any moment.

`”Threats? How…” she began, but I cut her off.

“A promise. With Shiro gone, there’ll be no reason not to strike you down, will there? It’s what she’d want, too. After all, she’s giving her life so that I could survive. Foolish girl.” Ether Healing had healed my broken nose, but I must have looked dreadful, with flesh still pink from Tan’s fires, and my visage stained with silver and red blood. Tan remained silent, as I continued. “The only way you get out of this is if Shiro makes it. But she’s a real mess. Most of her chakra network isn’t even linked up to her chakras. Just at the root and the crown. The rest is… well, you. Then there’s all those damn chains tangled everywhere. So tell me, what can I do to save her?”

After a moment of waiting for her to answer, I shouted, furious. “Don’t ignore me, bitch! I’m barely holding in my rage right now, so…”

“Do be quiet. Taking out your anger on me will only shatter the tiny chance you have remaining.” Tan spoke. “The white princess, she… she is resolved, yet secretly hopes for a different outcome. She does not wish to die, though she would rather die than fight you, it seems. No, she told me… she wants to see what the future holds with you.”

At those words I let out a choked sob, before clamping shut my mouth hard enough to crack several teeth. No, there’s no time for panic. Every moment is sand running out of the hourglass of Shiro’s life.

“Fine. Now how do I untangle this fucking mess? Wait a second…” it looked like one of the chains had inflicted severe damage on her root, heart and crown chakras, but the chain had cracked, perhaps the contract starting to break. Even so, it isn’t gone… I started sawing away at the chains, concentrated aether hacking at it, but even so, it was to no avail.

“It is useless. The chains are a divine representation. Such efforts are ultimately futile.” Tan declared solemnly.

“Divine, huh? In that case…” I gathered my adherence as well, though manipulating it was fiendishly difficult, similar to ether when I first started out, and tried to slice the chain. Shit, it’s not working… Whether my adherence was too low, or I was too unskilled, it was failing, energy leaving Tan and fortifying the chain, which was slowly causing the cracks to heal and the chain to tighten further, shredding into Shiro’s fragile body.  That body convulsed, blood splattering, and I had another worry. Fuck, Shiro’s actual material body is so fragile even the transferred damage must be killing her…

“Tan.” I said, shocked at the coldness of my voice. “I made myself clear, if she dies, I’ll strike you down, right?”

An eye slid open lazily. “I remember. I am not so senile as to forget your threats from a mere moment ago. But while you threaten me, she slips ever closer to death…”

“Shut up! I’m saying… you have a divine favour that governs these contracts, right? What happens if that is destroyed? Would the contracts break too?”

“Perhaps.” Tan admitted. “The gift of Sancus produces the chains. But…”

“But nothing. We break it, now.” I demanded.

“It is not so simple…” she tried to shake her head but couldn’t move, barely twitching.

“Don’t bullshit me.” I warned. “I’m on the edge now. I’ve broken down a divine favour myself before. You’re the Candidate, rather than Shiro, technically, right?” As we talked I started calling out my spirit water, knowing water was effective for healing. Merging it with my Ether Healing, I started pouring it into Shiro, though the sorry state of her chakras made it difficult. I need a different tactic. Pulling Shiro onto my lap, distraught at how cold and still she was, I sealed her lips with mine, spirit water pouring into her through the connection. Her small throat worked instinctively, swallowing, the water radiating into her body, strengthening it.

“We have to sort one problem at a time. And you are in no position to argue with me. You owe her.”

“It is not as simple as you believe. The divine favour has become part of me, I drank it in. it is not so simple to…” she gasped as I started Chirurgery, hacking away at the connections. I’m glad I got to see just how it might have worked with Kondou Kazuo. Though I never tried it, I did observe him closely. Tan let out a shrill screech as I started damaging her network around the left wrist, trying to untangle the mess that was the divine favour.

“You fool, this will be wreaking much damage on her too…” she snarled. “… she is already so…”

“I can see the chain tightening still. It’s slow, maybe because she isn’t conscious, but it’s also not stopping. So focus. You understand these things better than I do. So help me destroy it!” I didn’t stop hacking away, while I continued to kiss Shiro, though it was Tan who was conscious, so perhaps I was violating her mouth, but it was all she deserved after trying to allure and consume me earlier. In addition, Ether Healing was working overtime, cascading down the feeble thread of her dim, white cord, sending aether to her material body to heal it. Trying three things at once was stressing my brain, but I activated my Body Enhancement, Crude though it was, which gave me a significant boost to my physical and mental abilities, albeit at painful cost. No time to worry about the damage to me. As long as I live, I’ll heal…

“Right. I can use adherence to strengthen her body as well, like I did for me. Even a point or two of Fortitude might help. Wait… Lover’s Link. My stats are way higher.” With my Fortitude over nine hundred, even one percent of that was significant. As I kissed her unresisting body, pouring in the water element, I felt my love flow into Shiro, forming a connection, similar to when I had granted it to Aiko.

Oh Shiro, I feel you. I… suddenly connected, I felt her as kin, and a brief feeling of relief surged within me. That means, even if she dies…

“Do not be so foolish.” Tan declared. She had used the Gaze of Ichnaea to observe what I was doing. “That technique is impressive, but her spirit is mixed with mine, it will not work as you wish.”

Shit. And it would have solved everything. “Back to my previous idea then. Sorry, but this will hurt.” I declared, multiple stabbing blades of aether, strengthened with what adherence I could control, savaging at her arm, trying to cut the bracelet free.

“Stop, you will achieve nothing but destroying her!” Tan croaked, coughing smoking blood. Her red eye blinked, dazed from the pain. “I will do it. Fool. But it may leave her permanently crippled. The network in her arm will be torn asunder.”

“I’ll take a Shiro with one arm over a dead Shiro. She wanted to see the future. I’ll make that come true!”

“Fine then.” Tan growled. With a feat of effort some of her hair blazed, a few strands twisting into blazing flames. “To think I would be forced to feast upon myself. What ill fortune you turned out to be my enemy. Flames of Thirst and Famineeeeeeeee…” Tan screamed, surprising me. Blazing heat tore into the arm, searing through the connections I had yet to sever, as well as the remnants of Shiro’s network and the borrowed one from Tan. The divine favour popped free, and I grabbed it, immediately breaking it down. This power isn’t for me. Shiro needs it far more…

Adherence rose from me in a wave, my control over it motivated by desperation. Blood was starting to leak from my ears, eyes and nose, Body Enhancement taking a heavy toll on me, but the extra Intellect and Alacrity were what I needed.

Your skill, Crude Body Enhancement, has increased from Rank 2 to Rank 3. You can further explosively increase the performance of your body and mind, using flame element to overclock your body, wind element to increase physical performance, water element to repair and counteract… Perfect. But I don’t need to know that now. All I know is, I can go further, faster, harder… as the pain I was feeling throughout my body intensified, my brain feeling as though it was dipped in molten metal, I started manipulating the adherence that was released, the energy that should have been absorbed by me poured into Shiro’s body, and while most of it was absorbed back into Tan, some spilled over into Shiro, and because she was so weak, she would surely gain some levels.

“Such a waste.” Tan declared softly. “But I suppose this divine favour was more trouble than it was worth…” there was a series of shattering noises, as the chains exploded one after another. The first to go was the cracked one that was crushing her, and as the motes of adherence scattered, Tan started retrieving them. One by one the chains disintegrated, and as the last vanished, I couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. But… too early to rest now. Shiro is still on the brink of death. I can feel her life fading away…

“There is no time to bask in your triumph.” Tan echoed me. “The chance of her survival is still minimal. To break the contracts of Sancus was indeed clever, and a miracle, but her already failing body was damaged severely. Make haste, if you can.” She paused then. “I would not have her perish, when the thirst within her is finally being sated. Besides…” her eye looked at me.”… if she dies, you will attempt to slay me in turn, yes? Freed from her body, my full might would return. You are surprisingly capable, but you would still die, I am sure. Yet I would disturb the balance of this world. The Boundary would crack, and the time of the predators drawing near would be accelerated. It would be a great failure…”

 I nodded. “I would avoid that if I could. But to do so…” I think… I might have to do something drastic… my burning brain, pushed to the peak by grief, worry and the destructive fury of my rapidly strengthening Body Enhancement, was running scenarios on Chirurgery, and all signs pointed to… drastic measures… being required. “… Tan. A truce?” I said, and her eye blinked warily.

“You hate me, do you not? Why would you…” she began.

“Because Shiro’s life is above everything else. Now listen, and if you agree…”

********

What is this feeling? It’s so… comforting. It feels… it feels like Aki is inside me, and I can feel his warmth. Shiro felt as if a weight had been lifted from her, and she realised Tan had dissolved the contract that bound her. Still, there was a second chain she had pulled on, the deal with the Raven Knight, and there was no way Tan could do anything about that. No, sadly I’m beyond saving, though I thought death would be quicker. Maybe only wishing to break the contract isn’t as final as actually breaking it? Uh, what a troublesome power. But is this where my life flashes before my eyes? If so, I’m not going to see much. Other than the last couple of years, my life has been pretty grey. Not even white… the laugh inside her head was brittle. Hey, Tan… a question. Why did we even need the contract power in the first place? I mean, I know it was just sort of there, and you took it, but even so…

… …my power is hardly absolute. The Buddha resisted it, as did your man, though I so nearly allured him into offering his life for you, his favours to me.

Tan. You are there. Good. I thought I was dying alone for a moment there…

I was merely talking to that fool out there. To think he would threaten me so boldly. To answer your question… it was merely convenient. After all, I wished to keep them around, so that in the end… those who proved unworthy would be my food.

Shiro gasped internally. Wait, what? I know you drank in the others, but these are our allies, our…

Friends? Perhaps some. But The Raven Knight, The one you called Daizen. Even your confidant, Arisu… they are not people to trust. And their souls, gifts, they would have quenched my thirst indeed. Besides, did you not throw them all away for the man you claim to love?

… no. I still intend to work something out. I… oh shit, ugh… what the… her thoughts and words scattered, as a blinding pain erupted in her left arm, making all her prior hurts, even the feelings of being mercilessly crushed by the chains of contract, feel like a light bruise in comparison. Glad she wasn’t conscious so she couldn’t throw up and writhe in agony, Shiro fought against the torment, her thoughts dark. … shit, Aki. You’re killing me here… uh… if it’s going to hurt that much, maybe… maybe death is preferable…

… perhaps I could have allured Daizen, and the other little man, that Bunta. But not that creature, the Raven Knight. He only desires to slay his aunt, all the Fae, and work his accursed ritual. These desires are so massive, loom so absolutely in his mind, that there are no other feelings I can inflame, allure. Besides…

Shiro listened to the voice of Tan desperately, it giving her something to cling to as the pain seared through her arm, radiating outwards through her entire body. … you would have hated it, would you not? You saw my alluring dance. It shamed you, though it also thrilled you, as it was for him. If I tried this for the Raven Knight, or one of the others, surely you would loathe me. I did not want that…

Oh Tan… whether it was her words, or the pain was actually diminishing, she felt a little better, the agony receding, though she could feel something wrong with her body now, even unconscious able to divine something was terribly wrong. You really do care then? You’re right. I’d never want you to act so shamelessly with my body. I may come across as flirty, but actually, despite trying to act like Aimi, I’m really quite shy.

… I know. How could I not? And though victory takes precedence, I would not have you hate me more than is necessary. After all, I am thirst itself, greed, hunger. I love those who seek to be filled as I do.

Speaking of filled… Shiro felt a wash of something else, along with the feelings of closeness with Aki. It felt good, felt strong, and her body reacted. As the tide washed in, the weights pressing down on her, the chains… they shattered, one by one.

Tan, the contracts…

Yes. I have relinquished that divine favour, though at… a cost. Your man, he would not take no for an answer, swearing to strike me down if I refused. I am not scared of him, no, for I am mighty. Yet… it seemed prudent to answer his request. After all, he seems a man who honours his debts.

Shiro would have smiled if she could. Oh Tan, that sounds like an excuse if ever I heard one. Don’t be tsundere, it only works in stories, not real life. I know you wanted to save me. After all, you said it yourself. You don’t want me to hate you. Well, Aki is fighting for me, so I guess I can’t just give up and die… though he could do a better job, this hurts like hell!

… … …

Hey, are you offended? Damn, Aki must be doing a good job after all then. So… I’ll do my part. Clinging desperately to all that remained of her consciousness, trapped within a dying body, Shiro forced herself to keep awake, keep fighting, despite the pain, clinging to the voice of Tan and the warmth of Aki’s love. Come on Aki, if I survive this, we’ve so much more to do. Sure, we have hardships to overcome, but if I somehow survive… we’ll work them out!

********

Your skill, Crude Body Enhancement, has increased from Rank 3 to Rank 4. At the cost of pushing your body further beyond its limits, your abilities…

Fuck off, Eye, not right now. Everything was on fire within me, my elemental energies churning around my body explosively, muscles, blood, bones, nerves, brain, eyes… everything pushed to breaking point. My chakra network was no different, aether, adherence and elemental energies a boiling mass, feeding into the desperate Chirurgery I was doing.

Even so, she has fuck all to work with. I’ve never seen a subtle body so pathetic. The damage Shiro had sustained was brutal, yes, but worse was the sheer lack of a proper network. I was rapidly creating one, drilling into her astral body and also her material body through her feeble white cord, but when I did so, it caused her further damage, which I had to hastily heal with Ether Healing. There’s just one problem though. No, two damn problems…

The first was that I could heal her astral body with Ether Healing, but as I tried to pour it down through her cord to keep her material body from harm as I worked, the cord itself started to tear, causing backlash to her astral body, and what energy could pass through the narrow, pathetic strand was clearly insufficient to prevent grievous injuries. The second was that she simply didn’t have properly functioning major chakras, and of those, her root, heart and crown were mangled. In fact, it’s a miracle she’s still alive. Perhaps it’s because…

I was working as I thought, my mind trying to process multiple threads at the same time, Chirurgery and Ether Healing still thrumming, adherence sprinkled in when I could, giving me an occasional message about a stat increase for Shiro. There has to be a solution… I began to drill the lunar chakra, but that sent painful shockwaves through her body, upsetting the partially constructed capillaries around the site. Fuck… I cursed inwardly, only my Resilience fending off total panic.

“What are you doing?” Tan asked, observing with her Gaze of Ichnaea, now unable to even open Shiro’s eye more than a fraction, a faint ruby glow creeping out underneath. “This network is strange. It is not classically mortal, is it? It resembles yours… and the Raven Knights, I suppose. Even so…” words were hard for her, as Shiro’s astral body was holding her back. “… do you think I was being cruel when I declared I would take time to heal her? Fool. Her body is so atrophied, so delicate, that even to repair it is quite the labour. Sadly, her aberrant weakness is why she can be my anchor here, allowing me to… are you well? If you fall here, I will have no choice but to drink deep of you and abandon this world. Those Seeds are too precious to resist. And when you die, so shall the princess, and I will attract predators to this…”

“Shut. Up.” I grated, the staggering amount of silvery blood I puked up staining the ground, steaming, my ears and nose also gushing liquid. Still, despite the ghastly spectacle, the pain had actually diminished, as amber letters announced a new skill, as well as…

You have gained a skill, Split Thoughts Rank 1. This skill increases the ability of your brain to process multiple threads of information at the same time, by using both of your subtle bodies as parallel minds. Your mental statistics significantly increase. [Class: Noble] [Type: Foundation]

Your skill, Aetheric Chirurgeon has increased from Rank 6 to Rank 7. You are starting to be able to use adherence to increase the effect of the Chirurgery, causing less injury to the target as well as achieving greater feats.

It’s still not enough… but it’s a step closer… “Hey. Tan…” I managed, spitting blood, still working on both Shiro’s lunar chakra, as well as trying to hold together her fragile white cord and restoring her material body, in addition to starting work on fixing the ruined root chakra. “… I noticed. You don’t seem to have a silver cord. Where… where’s your other body?”

“Well observed. Your Eye is keen indeed. So tasty.” Her tongue weakly jutted from the bloody mouth of Shiro, licking slowly, with little energy. “When one reaches a certain level of strength, the material, the astral body… there is no distinction. One becomes a single form, made of physical or spiritual matter as one pleases. And with such a body, permanently destroying it is difficult. You would not find me so easy to slay. Though of course, such impressive forms cause great disruption to their surroundings if the ether density is low. So enduring here requires… a vessel. The princess. So empty, so perfect.”

“I see.” Things were starting to make sense to me. Even so… Shit. The root chakra I was working on cracked, tearing a lot of the delicate work I had done around it. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! As I used my Split Thoughts to start yet another track of Chirurgery to stabilise it, I asked another question, one which seemed irrelevant, but was anything but.

“Hey, Tan. You want to be an Astral Empress, right? Just what is one? And can there only be one here on Earth?”

“When a Territory breaks the bounds of the lower Astral, finally accumulating enough power to reach the upper reaches of the higher Astral, the ruler of said Territory becomes an Astral Emperor, and gains significant power.” Tan replied after a moment. “As for whether there can only be one… no, in principle there could be others. Though worlds that try and split their focus that way seldom end well, enemies from within and without consuming them. A strong Territory to repel the predators lurking in the Astral tides is the foundation of a world saved from destruction.”

“I see.” My sweat was dripping from me, making it hard to concentrate. “So Tan, here’s what I’m thinking. You…” as I outlined my idea, Tan let out a long sigh.

“I see.” She said finally. “It does offer benefits for me, but risks as well. If you can succeed. Though… you do not lack the will to try, it seems…”

“Will is all I have. So, will you accept my offer? No contracts now, none of that shit. Just given word, a pledge between two people who profess to care for Shiro.”

“Will I? Let me see. I…”

********

What the fuck is Aki doing? Ugh, it’s like I’m being filled with a hive of angry wasps that keep stinging me from the inside, with no way to scratch the burning itch. And that’s not the worst of it. I can feel so much pain. My eye, my throat. My arm. Even… down below. Shit… I’m going insane here, I don’t know if I can…

… no, you must hold on.

Tan? You’re back. You’ve been gone for hours. Days? I don’t know…

Merely a minute, I promise. I had to talk to your man. Reach a deal.

A deal, with Aki? Wait a minute, it isn’t anything shady is it? He won’t let you eat him in exchange for saving me, will he? If so, I’ll just kill myself again, he must know that…

Nothing so foolish, I promise, thirsty one. Besides, if I could save you, would I not have done so, rather than this? Your man… he has talents. I admit to being rather impressed. In the time this world has been blessed the by the divine, he has made great strides. Is this the power of the Seeds, or…

So, what was this deal? And is it going to be over soon? I… I thought I was good with pain, but this… this is beyond what I can bear. I can barely hold on…

It seems nothing has changed, my white princess. No, we will be together a long time. And we shall still strive for victory.

No, I don’t want to fight against Aki. I mean, I do want to help my allies, even that dumb Raven who got me into this mess. I gave my word, you know. Arisu. Suzu. Bunta. Daizen. The Raven Knight. You. I want… I want to see your dreams realised. Because I never thought I’d get to see my own come true. And now… now I have a dream, know how joyous it is, I want it all the more. But I want Aki’s dream to come true too. What do we do when we have dreams that clash, that oppose each other? Shiro wanted to weep, pain and sorrow overspilling from her, but without eyes, she could not cry.

Simple. But first, hold on to the link between you and that man, cling tight and do not let go. The answer… it is surprisingly simple. Why, you merely have to…

********

Your skill,  Adherence Manipulation has increased from Rank 1 to Rank 2. Your ability to control and utilise adherence has strengthened. You are more able to manipulate another’s adherence, should they allow it.

Your skill, Aetheric Chirurgeon has increased from Rank 7 to Rank 8 and has reached the second wall. Your understanding of adherence, divine sparks and other foundations of subtle bodies has increased and Chirurgery works significantly more effectively on beings who have a single, combined form. You can perform Chirurgery on divine sparks if the bearer of said spark is willing. [Class: Noble] [Type: Principle]

Your skill, Ether Healing has increased from Rank 6 to Rank 7. You can compress aether more densely, injecting it through damaged silver cords and capillaries. Your already great resistances to harmful substances and foreign matter increases further, and the speed at which you acclimatise to such contamination, rendering it harmless, has significantly increased. You can achieve greater feats with higher quality ether, and your aether when used to heal will slightly strengthen all attributes of the target.

Your skill, Crude Body Enhancement Rank 4  has become Body Enhancement Rank 4. Your body suffers significantly reduced damage from this ability, though as you still lack a suitable mediating element such as lightning or light, your brain and nervous system still suffers significant pain and injury. [Class: Powerful] [Type: Foundation]

A huge bounty of skills had been my reward for the arduous task I performed, but I didn’t care about that right now, no more than I cared about the fact I was a broken, shattered husk of a man, every part of my body injured, my brain a mess, hideous stabbing lights piercing my vision like the worst migraine imaginable. I had drained all the adherence I had, as well as most of my aether, and had shattered every Etherite I had on me without hesitation, as well as pulling what aether I could from my distant Territory. Even so… It was barely enough. But… did it work?

My Eye flared amber, causing a further wave of pain through me, blood trickling down from my eye socket. Even so, I blinked the gore away, focussing on the battered form lying still beneath me.

Shiratori Himeko, huh? That’s her real name? I guess I see where Shiro and Shirohime come from now… Oh thank the gods. With her survival confirmed, I slumped down, exhausted but victorious, though unfortunately, it was not a complete success, not by any means.

As I did so, I saw Shiro’s body twitch, and as she opened her eyes, black with just a hint of red within them, I saw a smile that made everything worthwhile, despite the… problems.

“I don’t believe it. You did it, Aki. I’m alive. Though … ouch, what the hell. You did a pretty shoddy job, not going to lie.”

As Shiro cried out in agony, her body finally starting to send the pain signals her awakening had suppressed, her eyes turned red, and Tan… Taṇhā, I guess… took control, twisting Shiro’s tortured face into a grimace as she contested the agony.

“I think you do him a disservice. This was a work of art, princess. Though we cannot call you white anymore. Red perhaps. You are quite the fright.” Using aether she conjured a mirror for Shiro to see herself.

“Oh. Yeah. Shit.” Shiro hissed in a breath, and not from pain. “Well, uh… Aki. If you want to call off the wedding, I don’t suppose I’d…” I leapt to my feet, despite my savage injuries, and seized her in a tight hug. As Shiro leaked tears from one of her eyes, she put an arm around me. One arm.

“Don’t be a fool. You’re still wearing the ring, aren’t you?

“I guess? I can’t… feel it anymore.” Shiro said softly. “I can’t feel my left arm at all, or move it.”

I nodded, gloomy. “Yeah, the damage was too severe, what with the flames of thirst and famine ravaging your arm, to destroy the blessing there. I guess that’s the problem with sharing a body. Even my Ether Healing wasn’t up to it. as well as…”

“Yeah. My face. Not so princess-like anymore.” Shiro muttered. “I know that injuries here don’t go fully back to the body back on earth, but…”

I shook my head, unwilling to give her false hope. “You are probably even worse off there. I couldn’t get much energy down your crappy excuse for a silver cord until towards the end, so…”

“Hey, don’t call me crappy! I was born this way.” She pouted, one eye winking at me, the other a blinded mess of blood and scarring, just like her face, which was gouged deeply. As she trembled in my arms I could see she was putting a brave face on it. “I guess it’s my fault. I’d like to say I wasn’t going to regret it, that I’d rather die for you than have you die for me, and it’s true, and … I’m glad to be alive, but… damn, I’m… pretty much ruined as a woman, aren’t I?”

I made to kiss her, but she pulled away. “I’m hideous, Aki. I look like some sort of Halloween monster. Don’t force…”

“I’M NOT!” I shouted, surprising her. “Don’t close up your heart, Himeko, or else everything is for nothing. If you wanted to pull away from me, you should just have let Tan fight me.”

“Himeko? How do you know that name? No, it doesn’t matter. What does is… I’m broken. I treasured my beauty, it made me feel special, and now…”

“You’re still special.” I promised, finally manging to kiss her. After a moment she pulled away, trembling. Tan was still suppressing her pain, but she could do nothing about the wounds to her emotions.

“Himeko. Or do you prefer Shiro?”

“I’m Shiro. I hate that name. No, I’m Shirohime… no. I’m not. Just… Shiro, I guess.” She looked down, vulnerable and hurting.

“Yes, just Shiro. My fiancée. The girl I moved heaven and earth, and bound a divine being to you to save.”

“He is right.” Tan declared. “Now dry those foolish tears. We did not suffer such agonies, merely to have you break now. Did you not want to see the world ahead with him?”

“I did, but…” Shiro protested.

“Then feel the truth. You have my Lovers’ Link, right? Surely you can feel my emotions?” I pressed. “And I’m just an Aki. How presumptuous would I be if I turned away from you because of a few imperfections?”

“A few?” she snorted, still shocked, but a brief spark of amusement flaring. “I look like a cyclops that went through an industrial grinder. So… was this Lovers’ Link the feeling I got when I was dying? Your warmth, your care?”

“Yeah. It’s a tangible proof I love you. and I always will. Trust me. I’ll work hard until I can heal you. I’ll call on people I know too. Selensha might have ideas. Normally injuries like this should be no problem, but… your body isn’t normal now. We had to take seriously drastic steps.”

“Yes, I gave up a little of my divine spark for you. Though this man will pay for it.” Tan declared.

“Seriously? Well thanks, Tan. Don’t… don’t price-gouge him, okay?” she said, suddenly seeing my ragged state for the first time. “Shit Aki, you look as bad as me!”

“I had to push past my limits a lot here. But there was no way I’d ever let you die. Shiro…” I reached down, removing the ring from her twisted, immobile arm, and slipped the ring on her other hand. “I love you. Still. Please marry me. Your face, your body, your arm… I hate that I wasn’t good enough to save them, but… even so, I love you and I’ll make you happy. Feel my love through my bond, see it in my eyes. Taste it in my kiss!”

This time when our lips touched, she didn’t pull away, tasting of sweat, blood, tears and salt. When we parted, a string of saliva between us, she nodded. “Fine. Aki, I love you too. But it’s going to be hard for me to adjust. What made me special is ruined now…”

“No it isn’t. Your heart made you special. And now you have other special properties.”

“Yes, you are a true manifester of the divine now.” Tan muttered. “For good or for ill. I know not which.”

“Yeah, but who gives a shit what skills you have? The only special property I care about is your love for me!” Our lips met again, and the trembling was slowly stopping, Shiro melting into my embrace. When she was done, she pulled away from me, giving me a brilliant smile, one full of pain but humour too, and a little sliver of hope.

“Well, yes, I’ll marry you Aki. Why else did I suffer this? Shit, it’s only an arm and an eye, I can still make my game so long as I can type and see. Ugh… but what do we tell the others? They are going to be heartbroken…”

Yes, that’s true. “That’s why I’ll never give up, not until you can truly smile from the heart again.” I knelt down and kissed her hand that wore my engagement ring. “Shiro. Let’s go home. All right?”

She nodded. “Yes. Aki, Tan. Let’s go. I’ve had enough of this shitty place…”