Naruto : Venom

”Two down.” Cat’s voice call through the air.

”Who got hit?” Ino calls out.

No one answers. Suddenly feathers are falling down all around us, it is the genjutsu used in the Chunin Exams. Pain!

...

The Jiongu broke me out in time to see Monkey, Zebra and Bear all charging across the arena having dodged around my thread monsters. I slump to my knees, acting like I’m caught in the genjutsu. Once they are almost on top of us I can determine their targets.

They’re me, Sasuke, and Shino. I lash out with my lightning whips at Monkey and he dodges six of them. The other four connect and shock him into unconsciousness. Sasuke throws a kunai in the leg of Zebra causing him to fall. Bear makes away with an unconscious Shino. Damn, I thought his insects would wake him up like my Jiongu does.

”Kai.” Sasuke pulses his chakra. Good thing his Sharingan can see through genjutsu. He walks over to the fallen Zebra and points a kunai at him. ”Dead.” Zebra nods in agreement.

”Three down.” I call out. ”We’re winning.”

Hare explodes out of the earth behind Hinata. Which was a major mistake, you can’t sneak up on a Hyuuga like that, not when they’re prepared for it. Hinata twirls around and slams her palms into Hare repeatedly.

”Damn Hinata, that was awesome.” Kiba says to his teammate.

”Four down! You getting nervous yet!” Maybe we can win this!

”Lightning Release: Independent Cubes.” A very gruff voice calls out. Cubes of electricity form around each of us. Not even my monsters are spared, this is one hell of a technique.

”Uh-oh. That ain’t good.” I say.

”Twelve down, and that’s game over.” Cat calls out. ”We have you all caught.”

”Let’s put that to the test, shall we? Chidori!” Sasuke slams his fist of lightning into one of the walls containing him. The cube shatters. ”You were saying?” I can feel the pride swelling within him.

”Good thinking! Besides it isn’t over till Tsunade says so! Lightning Release: False Darkness!” Lighting rips from my mouth and spears into the side of my cube. Mine doesn’t shatter, it wasn’t enough.

”Partial Expansion Just!” Choji’s voice is accompanied by the sound of dull thud. ”Dammit, I thought that would work. I’ve crushed boulders with that.”

”Sasuke! It’s only you! I don’t think anyone else can get out!” I call out to my friend.

Sasuke sprints towards my prison. All of the remaining ANBU appear to stop him. He dodges everything they try. Kunai, fire, water, earth, lightning. He dodges it all. He’s only a meter away from my cage. He’ going to make it!

”Chidori!” His hand is engulfed in blue lightning once more. He’s half a meter away when Tsunade herself grabs him by the scruff of the neck and throws him away from me.

”Will someone please tell me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” She rounds on me and punches the cube. It breaks like glass from her strength alone. ”You! I know you caused this!”

”It was all Cat’s fault!” I point at him accusingly. ”He escalated everything I just responded in kind!”

”I gave you a D-rank. A D-rank! How can it possibly turn into this! Explain now!” She towers over me with pure rage in her eyes.

shrink on myself. ”Well, when Cat started chasing me I said I would respond to what he attacked me with. First it was kunai, then it was genjutsu, then ninjutsu, then teamwork. Monkey helped Cat out, so I went and got Sasuke.”

”And? How did it escalate to a full on shinobi brawl in the middle of a park?” Oh boy, she’s right. We never left the park we found Shikamaru and Choji at.

”I’m getting there?” I squeak out. ”While I was convincing Sasuke to help me Cat and Monkey got more ANBU to help, for a total of nine.” I take a breath. ”I figured I’d grab the Rookie Nine to even the playing field. The last two we got were Shikamaru and Choji, who were here. Then we confronted each other and... this happened?”

I gesture to the newly terraformed park. We didn’t cause that much damage, but you can definitely tell it’s different. I’m really glad I didn’t use any high level ninjutsu here otherwise there wouldn’t be a park left. ”Please don’t hit me?”

”Let me see if I understood this right. I assign you a Tora mission and you somehow turn it into a Rookie Nine vs nine ANBU.”

”That’s... uh... yeah that is pretty much it.” I hang my head in shame.

”You mean to tell me that nine gennin took down four of my ANBU?” She is absolutely furious. I messed up big time.

”Technically it was only eight gennin. Naruto is out of the village.” Shikamaru adds in. He’s smirking, that asshole is trying to get me in more trouble! Revenge for making him confront ANBU no doubt.

Tsunade throws her hands up in the air in pure disbelief. ”That is even worse!” Wait, how is that worse? ”All of the ANBU present are going through basic training again! And you better like it! Beaten by gennin! You’re supposed to be the best of the best! My elite forces!”

Cat steps forward. ”Hokage-sama, we held back on them. We didn’t attack full force, if we did it would have been over in moments.”

Tsunade whirls on him. ”YOU! You’re going through twice!” Cat actually takes a step back in fear. ”I don’t care why you were beat by gennin, you were beat by gennin! Not only that, you let this get out of hand. You’re lucky I don’t demote you.” She turns to the path that leads into the park. ”Show’s over! Go do something else!”

Collectively we all look where Tsunade turned to. There is a huge crowd, a mix of civilian and shinobi. There are even a few vendor carts selling food and drink.

”Holy shit my tou-san is in there. I’m screwed.” Shikamaru says. ”Kami what am I going to do when kaa-san finds out?”

”I think I see my tou-san too.” Ino adds on. She timidly waves, Inoichi waves back with a proud smile. ”Yep, that’s tou-san.”

”You think you’re screwed Shikamaru? My kaa-san is down there.” Kiba says with Akamaru perched on his head again. Good, he got Akamaru back. ”And she looks pissed!”

”This is most concerning.” Shino adds. Whoa, where’d he come from?

Hinata is pale in pure terror. Either from the crowd looking at us or the fact that there are many Hyuugas present.

”Meh, if I had fun my parents won’t care.” Choji says while opening a bag of chips. ”They’re pretty cool like that.”

Sasuke and I share a look. We’re the only ones here without parents, we both know that we won’t see their faces in the crowd.

”Well, this isn’t awkward at all.” I merrily say.

”Alright, show’s over! Back to whatever it was you were doing before.” Tsunade disbands the crowd. ”Not you seventeen. My office. All of you. Now.”

We get there in record time.

...

Tsunade stares each of us down, one at a time. ”You all are never to do that again. Never again!”

Choruses of ”Yes Hokage-sama” echo throughout the room.

”Good. Alvarcus clean up your mess.” She points to a pile of dirt in the middle of the room. In fact it is right beneath me, it’s where I usually stand when I come into the office.

”Hokage-sama? I’ll clean it up I just want to know how it is my mess?” I don’t remember tracking in that much dirt.

She grits her teeth. ”Your earth clone brought in Tora fifteen minutes after you left my office.”

”Ha-ha! Take that Cat I win!”

”Out!” Tsunade roars. ”Now!”

We all exit through the door.

”Hey Cat?” I call out.

Cat turns to me. ”Yes?”

”That was so much fun! Let’s do it again sometime. But, you know, not get caught. Maybe if we went to the Forest of Death?”

Cat just laughs at me. ”Sure kid.” He leaves with the rest of the ANBU.

All of the gennin are staring at me. ”What? Is there something on my face?”

”You’re insane.” Sasuke says. ”You want to do that again?”

”Hell yeah I do! I haven’t had that much fun in ages!”

...

One Hour Later

”Sweet merciful Kami I didn’t do it!” Cat yells. He’s currently strapped to a unforgiving metal chair.

”I’ll ask again.” Inoichi firmly places his hand on Cat’s head. ”Why did you hurt my daughter?”

”I didn’t do- AAAHHHHHHH!” Cat screeches in pain.

”This is the last time I’ll ask.” There’s not a hint of mercy or regret in Inoichi’s voice. ”Why did you hurt my daughter?”

”Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.” Cat drones out with glazed over eyes. ”When I get home I’m going to throw pancakes into a river.”

”That’s a waste of good pancakes. Good attempt, but the techniques I’m using don’t have that kind of a result.” Inoichi tells his patient.

Instantly Cat is alert again, there’s no need to keep up an act if it failed already. ”Inoichi I didn’t do it! I specifically told everyone there to avoid her!”

”Well the third technique didn’t have the required result, let’s move onto the next.” Inoichi places his hand on Cat’s head again. ”There’s only seventeen more to go!”

...

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